ruby Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 what is wronge with my man? i have been seeing my boyfriend for a year. he does not want to have sex. he is 42 and i am 28. i love him but i also love sex. i have toughts of other men from the past because my need is so great. what should i do about his sex problem, how can i make him talk about it. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 "Honey, How come we don't have sex?" Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 You have a HUGE problem if you have been dating someone for a year and cannot talk about something as fundamental as the physical part of your relationship. You don't give much information here but normally, if not weeks then definitely months into a new relationship, people have at least discussed their expectations in this area. As mature adults if you have not discussed this and your partner is unwilling to do so there is definitely something off here which is big red flag for the your future. Link to post Share on other sites
Marty_McFly Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Have you had sex with him before and then it's stopped? Or have you guys never had sex? Believe it or not, there are still men in this world (even as old as 42) who hold the act of sex in the highest esteem and will only do it with the person they will be with for the rest of their lives. But even if he is one of those guys, he should be able to talk to you about it. And if he is, I think you should consider yourself lucky that you've found a man with a strong conviction in his morals. And assuming that other than this he is everything else that you want, the sex will probably be great when the time comes. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Originally posted by Marty_McFly But even if he is one of those guys, he should be able to talk to you about it. Yeah, that's precisely why I assumed he wasn't one of those guys. Because a man of such "high conviction and morals" wouldn't be above telling her some line like, "I respect you so much, I'm waiting" etc. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Why would a man not have sex with a woman he is in a "relationship" with? * Moral convictions * Physical dysfunction * Emotional problems * Low libido * Low interest in heterosexual relations * Fear of pregnancy and commitment etc. The list goes on and on. Please try reading The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michelle Weiner-Davis. And do talk to this fellow, but in a pleasant, supportive way, saying how much you would like sex with him. Don't say anything that sounds like, "What's wrong with you?" Sex is a very sensitive and emotional topic for most people. I am still scratching my head about how this issue got sidestepped for so long. I hope it is because the two of you were busy building your relationship in a lot of other deep, meaningful ways. the sex will probably be great when the time comes. I wish I could be as sure as Marty on this. Link to post Share on other sites
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