Interesting article about the nature of marriage, cheating, longevity of love, etc.

[aeh]

Thought this was interesting.

 

http://m.dallasnews.com/tdmn/db_/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=yCJuE6GG&src=cat

[karnak]

My 2 cents:

 

- People marry for stupid, futile reasons: social pressure, social validation, sexual lust, immaturity, material gain, etc.

 

- Most humans are selfish. They only care about their own satisfaction and don't care **** about the pain they inflict upon others. That includes their spouses and children as well.

 

- Our current times (dominated by media) have set upon people's minds that we are almost eternal and that age is only in our minds. Many people over 40 still carry the teenage notion that they can do as many mess as they want, because they'll have plenty of time in their life to deal with the aftermath.

 

- Again, our culture has infused upon society the notion that the future does not exist. Only NOW matters. "Just live the present and enjoy the moment, for who knows what tomorrow will bring". This, in extreme, leads to irresponsible behaviour.

 

- I'll repeat. Most people marry without really caring about the significance of the act. Women, more than men, seem to regard marriage as a "business contract" - it's only valid while the enterprise gives profit...as soon as the "business" gets shaky it's time to cut the losses and depart. Men look at it from the "code of honour" point of view (though there sure are lots of dishonourable men out there). Most people today marry with the notion "that love is eternal...only while it lasts".

[Spark1111]

I disagree Karnak! This is a phenomenon being studied by sociologists and psychologists today: The Walkaway Wife Syndrome.

 

And it is interesting to note that women are not walking away for money or status or younger flesh, but are rather seeking affection, understanding and fairness!

 

As we have become economically less dependent on male providers over the last 50 years, we are finally freer to examine our wants and needs as we head towards mid-life and the all-consuming role of child-rearing diminishes.

 

We want someone to hold our hand, die to kiss us, sexually ravish us and make the emotional effort to re-connect with us, the woman!

 

Unfortunately, many happy husbands too often go on automatic pilot when it comes to romancing us in later years. Complacency kills more relationships than any other threat, IMHO.

 

Obviously, with almost 70 percent of all women filing for divorce today it is a real issue.

 

The number one cited reason? Not infidelity, drinking, gambling, job loss, illness or any other you would think....

 

Neglect. Women HATE to be emotionally neglected, minimized, or pidgeon-holed into the role of wifey, mother, and chief cook and bottle washer.

 

 

Good article, Aeh.

[Woggle]

But of course I am juat being paranoid about it. I am just making this up and the 75% of divorces initiated by women are not real.

 

Do women honestly expect single men not to be scared to death of marriage after seeing this kind of thing?

[Gfkr2]

Here's my two cents on the increasing number of women having affairs. As men in western society are groomed to be emotionally stable and balanced husbands women increasingly are tempted to cheat without retribution.

 

Modern man is less likely than men of years ago to fly into fits of anger or physical abusea the thought of THEIR WOMAN having an A with an OM. Soceity no longer tolerates the H who takes his WW out behind the woodshed to teach her a lesson on fidelity. It is but one reason, I beleive, more women are likely to "enjoy" affairs going forward.

[Woggle]

That plus some feminists glorify it as a form of girl power and think that men are just getting a taste of their own medicine.

[karnak]

That plus some feminists glorify it as a form of girl power and think that men are just getting a taste of their own medicine.

 

Forget that feminist crap, Woggle. Women usually hate and do war upon each other. Most feminists are often heard by other men, rather than their own gender.

 

People will use every possible excuse in order to get away with their crimes. I suspect that some day we will heard the excuse: "God made me cheat on my spouse".

[Distant78]

That plus some feminists glorify it as a form of girl power and think that men are just getting a taste of their own medicine.

 

I agree. There are a lot more women cheating out here, and partly because they are getting more jobs. Some feminists do celebrate it as independence, and half of them were never married. But those feminists who think men are getting a taste of their own medicine in my opinion are wrong, because there are men (such as myself) out here that stand faithful and do not deserve that type of treatment married or non-married women dish out to their man. If they want to target men so badly, they should aim their sights down the path of the men who treat women badly in general.

[Woggle]

The funny thing is that women tend to kiss those men's asses. It's the nice faithful men who treat women like queens who are used as the whipping boys for a feminist's rage. They pick on men that won't fight back.

[Distant78]

My 2 cents:

 

- People marry for stupid, futile reasons: social pressure, social validation, sexual lust, immaturity, material gain, etc.

 

- Most humans are selfish. They only care about their own satisfaction and don't care **** about the pain they inflict upon others. That includes their spouses and children as well.

 

- Our current times (dominated by media) have set upon people's minds that we are almost eternal and that age is only in our minds. Many people over 40 still carry the teenage notion that they can do as many mess as they want, because they'll have plenty of time in their life to deal with the aftermath.

 

- Again, our culture has infused upon society the notion that the future does not exist. Only NOW matters. "Just live the present and enjoy the moment, for who knows what tomorrow will bring". This, in extreme, leads to irresponsible behaviour.

 

- I'll repeat. Most people marry without really caring about the significance of the act. Women, more than men, seem to regard marriage as a "business contract" - it's only valid while the enterprise gives profit...as soon as the "business" gets shaky it's time to cut the losses and depart. Men look at it from the "code of honour" point of view (though there sure are lots of dishonourable men out there). Most people today marry with the notion "that love is eternal...only while it lasts".

 

Scientists have also studied this. I'm not trying to be stereotypical here, but they talk about how a man is naturally grounded while a woman (in general) is emotionally unstable, naturally, and that could be why women are checking out of marriages. I repeat, i'm not saying its a fact for all women (married or not), but it could be a possible reason why some women are leaving their husbands. But you're right Karnak, most people these days marry each other for other reasons besides love, and I have to admit, it sends shivers down my spine, wondering what is America changing into. Add that into all of these new laws that are being made to control society, along with this national debt and other nation-wide problems, and you get another Civil War.

[Distant78]

The funny thing is that women tend to kiss those men's asses. It's the nice faithful men who treat women like queens who are used as the whipping boys for a feminist's rage. They pick on men that won't fight back.

 

I know right?

 

Remember when women used to always its the little things that count?

 

Well you can throw that statement out of the window because this new generation of women wants big things, then when they receive all of the things they could ever ask for (money, cars, romantic dinners, etc), along with mind-blowing sex, its STILL not enough, and they end up leaving you high and dry. Kind of like what my wife did to me over a year ago.

[Woggle]

I know right?

 

Remember when women used to always its the little things that count?

 

Well you can throw that statement out of the window because this new generation of women wants big things, then when they receive all of the things they could ever ask for (money, cars, romantic dinners, etc), along with mind-blowing sex, its STILL not enough, and they end up leaving you high and dry. Kind of like what my wife did to me over a year ago.

 

Yet when you treat them like play toys they kiss your ass. It's almost like they enjoy a man who still has the balls to put them in their place.

[stillafool]

Our Handyman just told us two weeks ago he is moving away because his wife (in her 50's) told him that she wanted to experience more in life than he has to offer. She is filing for divorce. They has two grown sons in PA where he is going to move. It breaks my heart to see him so hurt. It does seem that alot of older women are moving out and on. It's sad.

[Distant78]

Are you still happily married?

 

How is your H treating you? Is he aware that you had been seeing other men/

 

No wonder why this thread was started. She's probably thinking of leaving her husband.

[Woggle]

It seems that the only men I know who are having any luck with marriage either married foreign women or went into marriage with the mindset that he will never hand a woman his balls and kept that mindset. These new agey guys who break their back to please their wives are the ones who are being left like it is nothing. The so called neanderthals who sought out traditional women are the ones who are staying married.

 

If any man wants to save his marriage he needs to let a walkaway wife go and show her that he can be happy without her. A man should love his wife but be able to live a good life without her.

[Distant78]

It seems that the only men I know who are having any luck with marriage either married foreign women or went into marriage with the mindset that he will never hand a woman his balls and kept that mindset. These new agey guys who break their back to please their wives are the ones who are being left like it is nothing. The so called neanderthals who sought out traditional women are the ones who are staying married.

 

If any man wants to save his marriage he needs to let a walkaway wife go and show her that he can be happy without her. A man should love his wife but be able to live a good life without her.

 

After my experience, seeing my friend stepping up to his FWW, and reading many threads on this site, it does seem like these new age married men will honor their code at the expense of their sanity. Even though the persistence they contain is beneficial, it makes them look unattractive to women in general, and ultimately their wives. Now I know in my opinion, that's fuccked up the way women in general view men, but I see that's exactly how you have to play the game. I almost became one of those casualties until I grabbed the courage to tell my ex that I couldn't take her shiit anymore.

[Woggle]

My barber is an old school Italian guy who takes no crap and when his wife started this walkaway stuff he told her that he plenty of offers to cheat on her and has never taken any of but he plans on cashing them in if she divorces him. He said the night after they sign the divorce papers he will have a woman at his place ready to please him. He told her flat out that he can live a great life without her in it so if she wants to go she can have a nice life. It actually worked and she treats him better than she did before. I swear this guy should start an advice for men service because what he says is just golden and 9 times out 10 it works for a guy.

[Distant78]

My barber is an old school Italian guy who takes no crap and when his wife started this walkaway stuff he told her that he plenty of offers to cheat on her and has never taken any of but he plans on cashing them in if she divorces him. He said the night after they sign the divorce papers he will have a woman at his place ready to please him. He told her flat out that he can live a great life without her in it so if she wants to go she can have a nice life. It actually worked and she treats him better than she did before. I swear this guy should start an advice for men service because what he says is just golden and 9 times out 10 it works for a guy.

 

 

If she would've left some woman would've came to the shop, sat in his chair, and asked him to give her a trim between her legs!!!

[Thorgs]

subscribed. i'm deathly afraid of getting married only to be left high and dry after i'm nothing but faithful, loving, and supportive.

[Distant78]

subscribed. i'm deathly afraid of getting married only to be left high and dry after i'm nothing but faithful, loving, and supportive.

 

I don't blame you man. Some say its taboo to say that you don't never want to get married in America, since its the "American Dream." But to each its own. You really don't want to experience what I have. I just wished I never walked down that altar.

[Thorgs]

I don't blame you man. Some say its taboo to say that you don't never want to get married in America, since its the "American Dream." But to each its own. You really don't want to experience what I have. I just wished I never walked down that altar.

Yeah, I can only imagine. Sorry you had to experience what you have gone through.

[Snowflower]

No wonder why this thread was started. She's probably thinking of leaving her husband.

 

Yeah, because her husband cheated on her.

 

Maybe read up on established members' previous posts before passing judgment.

 

Lighten up.

[Distant78]

Yeah, because her husband cheated on her.

 

Maybe read up on established members' previous posts before passing judgment.

 

Lighten up.

 

I already read some of her posts, and that's why I said that.

[Snowflower]

I already read some of her posts, and that's why I said that.

 

Okay, fair enough.

 

So, if her husband cheated on her and she is thinking of leaving him (which none of us know for sure--only the OP can answer that), that makes her a bad, walkaway wife?

 

What should she do?

[Distant78]

Okay, fair enough.

 

So, if her husband cheated on her and she is thinking of leaving him (which none of us know for sure--only the OP can answer that), that makes her a bad, walkaway wife?

 

What should she do?

 

Revenge cheating won't solve the answer. It will only cause more hurt. Since it is a case of infidelity on both cases, divorce is the only option in my opinion and it should've been when her husband first strayed.