rina rojas Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 From the third day when we sat and talked, (our knees barley touching, I had no intentions,ever either, I happen to work in a male dominated field),all of a sudden I am able to speak the words he was thinking before he was able to, this overwhelming energy,we exchanged numbers. We were both supposed to b single,consenting,wholesome people. HE LED ME TO BELIEVE that,(as an abonded child,by his father at a young age,vowing to never do the same to his own),he was a divorced man who was shareing a roof with his recent exwife,(she was ill with terminal cancer,as soon as a family member comes 2 help her,I supported this "help", and summer vacation begins,he will b moving out,"FINALLY". After 14 mos of lies and deception MY WORLD HAS JUST BEEN ROCKED HE IS MARRIED!!!!,(AND I AM NO STUPID CHIC EITHER),I end it 3 mos later. Fourteen mos later,(wife passed,anurism,not the cancer),we find eachother again.I am unable to trust him.I saw signs before,so far as to one saturday afternoon my instincts caused me 2 raise from a relaxed state, uprite,(we were laying bac 2 bac,touching like always),out of nowhere I told him "I thot I was laying next 2 a married man", he convinced me he was infact DIVORCED ,why shouldn't I believe him, after all,I have never been in a relationship where I have ever had to feel uncertian of what someone I care about IS UNTRUTHFUL.There is so much more to this endless saga needless to say,through it all,all the pain,we still have this *****ing "connection thang", and it really pains me so.He actually really thinks he has nothing to prove as far as proving he's not really doing the things I now accuse him of doing.It is sooooo complicated. See,before I even knew this person I was involved in a very healthy,physical relationship,it was what it was,consentual,HONEST,fun,and monogumos.No reason to look for red flags, THERE WERN'T ANY!! What it all boils down to is he violated my trust,I believe in soulmates, and he is mine,there were red flags, I inquired, NOT ACCUSED, and was deliberately lied to... there is so, so, much to this. IT IS SIMPLY BEYOND ME HOW PEOPLE CAN SO EASILY DISMISS THE VALUE AND SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE AND HONESTY. HOW DARE ONE EVEN THINK THERE IS GREENER PASTURES!!.....AND NOTHING GREATER THAN LOYALITY...(my thot')..IT IS ALL SO MUCH EASIER WITH IT ALL OUT THERE, WHY WOULD U WANT TO ROB ONE OF THEIR CHOICES. I get accused of having a big mouth and told to learn to bite my tongue. I am simply opinionaited and should I believe I may have offended one, I will apoligize, and rarely do i walk away "wishing" i should have said, or could have said.I am very comfortable in my skin and sometimes mistaken for arrogant, I walk the talk,really! Validate, please, the fact that my trust issues are well warrented.there is more tho'.....your comments so far Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 You have very high moral standards, and you cannot accept those standards being breached. In that case, find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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