guest Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 OK, this is the situation. Me and my X girlfriend from 7 years ago are still friends. We spit up after she moved with her mom and have been friends ever sense. Ive always had some feelings for her and probably always will. Recently she moved closer to me ( a few hours) and our friendship really grew. Every few weeks we see each other and hang out, shoot pool, ect. Well, because she was sort of seeing someone and was in the process of breaking up with him I didn't try to advance any. I thought friends would be a great place to start and see if eventually I can get into her life as more. So I listned to her about her breakup and tried to remain friendly but not make her deal with my feelings while she was dealing with this breakup. Well, a few nights ago she was up and we all went to the bar and then back to a freinds house. This night she ended up sleeping with one of my friends. She is aware of the fact that this would have bothered me and she does know I still care about her and like her even if I was not saying it. I was waiting for her to move past her current breakup situation. I realize that we are just friends now but I think any friendship that started from a relationship in which feelings and emotions have been invested is going to be fragile. I really never expeted this and it is a big dissapointment in how I view her character. I mean, I know she still occasionaly is involved with her X. Plus, I realize that she could meet some one and go home with them. A stranger. The fact that she came after a friend feels very painful and not considerate on her part. Im not sure how I should handle the friendship from this point. Many people have said tell her to get lost and some have said that this is extreme. What should I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Depends on how much you hurt, this one girl i dated stopped dating me so she could date my roomate, so i was mad for awhile, but i got over it, it did affect the friendship and she wasnt as good of a friend as before, but i didnt freeze her out of my life, just did less things. Link to post Share on other sites
Goatsbreath Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Plus, is the friendship worth it if I have to suffer through these type of situations. She says she didn't realize our friendship was based on any certain circumstances. She says she didn't know there were things I saw as she could and couldn't do. She says there are very few things I could do that would end our friendship and shes really dissapointed that I feel that this ends it for me. She says, what I have to live my life according to who you think its ok to sleep with, ect. ect. I just think it was inconsiderate and she could atleast leave my friends alone if she needs to sleep with someone... Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Date one of her friends and see how she feels. Link to post Share on other sites
Goatsbreath Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 I posted this under guest but I guess I added more under my other name so that makes sense. Umm, I dont think she has any friends Im interested in. Besides, most of them are guys. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 In some ways I can understand where you're coming from: It's never cool to have your ex sleep with your friend(s), or your friend(s) sleep with your ex. It really hurts. If you still have feelings for your ex and she moves on with a stranger it may hurt, but it is not nearly so bad as your friends being involved. On the other hand it has been 7 years. I can understand why she is acting the way that she is. I would be a little annoyed if after 7 years I was getting that type of reaction from my ex. My recommendation is to explain how you feel calmly and methodically to your ex when she is willing to listen. Let her know you would like to explain yourself, but make it an invitation so she can come to you when she is ready to listen. She may not agree with you when you are finished explaining, but hopefully she will understand you better. I really hope that you can work your feelings out over time and remain very good friends with your ex. I am sorry that you have to deal with feelings for her, as it doesn't make this situation easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Same situation Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 Dude, I am in the exact situation. It's not 7 years but it has been rocking, and had its wonderful times aswell. It only happened last night. I went off at them both via sms. I don't want to talk to either of them again. How would they like it if I hooked up with one of their ex's infront of them. So not cool. F*ck them off. Cheers and beers, Link to post Share on other sites
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