Am I being Played

[Ash78]

My wife and I split after 15 years together and two boys 7 & 8. A lot of external pressures on the marriage relating to job money debt etc. Mother in law dies leaves wife a flat and a lot of money and six months later she leaves.

 

Initially the marriage was over and there was no going back under any circumstances lawyers employed etc.

 

I find out there is another man which she says is a freind and there is nothing sexual despite sharing a hotel bed overhight.

 

Three weeks later after the minimum of talking we have a conversation and clear the air about a few things/events. Lawyers are put on hold.

 

My thinking is that the guy she was seeing was making all sorts of promises and she fell for it now she is away from me the relationship has changes becuase she has the boys she can hardly see him and he possibly at 50 does not want two boys to bring up and is backing off.

 

I love her very much but will not be a doormat for anyone.I feel that she is now looking at the situation differently I know this could be because she is away from all the pressure.

 

I have said I will fight for the marriage and to do this I have to accept the "freind" in the backgound. I would be very interested in views and thoughts on this situation and view on the other man. My wife is 51 if that has a bearing on anything.

[seibert253]

Your W is lying to you. This dude is more than a "friend" and you know it.

 

Pretty simple, a M cannot heal with a third person involved, and both H and W have to be 100% committed to it. Not 70% or 80%, 100.

 

If you want to try and fix your M, then lay it all out for your W. But, one of the provisions is she has to end this "friendship". Plain and simple.

If she's not willing to do that, well then you have your answer.

[Ash78]

Your W is lying to you. This dude is more than a "friend" and you know it.

 

Pretty simple, a M cannot heal with a third person involved, and both H and W have to be 100% committed to it. Not 70% or 80%, 100.

 

If you want to try and fix your M, then lay it all out for your W. But, one of the provisions is she has to end this "friendship". Plain and simple.

If she's not willing to do that, well then you have your answer.

 

 

Seibert

Yes I do know it but she is still denying it.

 

Would agree about the 100% but a month after the split my emotions are all over the place and in mitigation there are many many issues that have been present in the last few years that I would want to run away from mif I could. We have financial difficulties coming out of our ears tho' she inherited a large sum from her mother that would place us on easy street.

 

This "freind" is loaded and I am beginning to think this is all about money.

 

But at the end of the day I have to think about my boys.