Author tac719 Posted March 22, 2004 Author Share Posted March 22, 2004 Hmmm. Getting ready to head home for bruhaha. Will type a post in the morning if i survive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tac719 Posted March 24, 2004 Author Share Posted March 24, 2004 Things seem to be on a somewhat even keel right now. We are attending marriage classes every Sunday at our church which seem to be addressing a lot of our issues. It's kinda weird though. I'm constantly waiting for something to happen. We still have our issues we deal with, but on a more civil level it seems. Her jealousy does seem to be getting a little better, I guess I'm just looking for it to go away completely which I know will never happen. We'll see... I guess what I'm dealing with in my head, is the fact that she really wants to have a baby and I'm not so sure. I have doubts. I actually think I may not want kids now. I'm starting a new career and would like to focus on myself for a change. Is that selfish? I feel like I've dealt with so much over the past 12yrs. that I need time to rebuild. I enjoy the time with my stepdaughter and love her dearly, but I think that is enough for me. Plus I certainly would want to make sure a child is brought in a healthy family. This right now is the big issue. I'm not sure how to approach this. Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 she wants a baby your instincts are right on - no baby, bad bad bad idea. what is she thinking? another patch it up and temporally fix the problems. Im already thinking of her behavior, hormones, feeling fat & unattractive. im scared to think that she might feel that having a child with you will secure the marriage and prevent you from ever leaving. child=pawn. however---------- this could be a good bargaining chip for you. you might consider explaining that you wouldn't consider having a child with her because of "jealous delusions"( good term, thanks gaia) she has. tell her that you love her and want a life together, but her behavior is pushing you out the door, and you are having doubts about the marriage (she already knows which is why she wants a baby). then say she has to go to individual counseling with you, and once the behavior is resolved then you would consider having a child. it will take a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tac719 Posted March 25, 2004 Author Share Posted March 25, 2004 Gawd almighty! I can't imagine her being pregnant! She's already told me I would suffer right along with her. Yeah. That's what I want! The thing is I love kids. But I don't know if I really want to have any at this point. I guess I always thought it was being selfish on my part if I didn't have a child. Of course she thinks if I didn't want a child it is because I don't ever want one with her, but I may with someone else(even if she did resolve her issues). Maybe that is partly true. But I believe having a child will only itensify her issues even if they have gotten better. Yeah. I have thought it was a way of locking me in. I certainly don't want that. Weird. I've actually thought how nice it would be to raise a child on my own (adoption). Maybe I am way to selfish... Link to post Share on other sites
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