Why are single men generally more bitter than single women?

[TouchedByViolet]

This just reeks of self pity...

 

If women show you no interest then it is YOU not them that has to change or alter something to generate that interest..

 

Women generate the interest they get.. So do the men..

 

 

I have my ups and downs in life (currently in a down) and trying my best to get out of it. Feeling sorry for yourself when you feel like Sh*t is normal... what should I feel great because I get rejected? I feel like your comments come from a place where you can't relate to my situation.

 

"Interest" is a loaded word. When I look at myself I have so many great qualities, professional career, kind hearted, close friends, etc. I honestly wouldn't know what "interests" women, but I don't seem to have it...

 

Women naturally generate interest by being present. Just some basic cleanup and fitness most women are attractive. For men it seems to be a different story.

[somedude81]

SD, as long as you keep oversimplifying the problem you will not make any progress. If it were this easy any reasonably intelligent guy could figure out the solution.

 

You've claimed both that women are shallow, and also that you are "generally very happy and simply excited" to be around them.

 

If both are true, that's pretty unhealthy don't you think?

I love being in the company of women. I just feel so good when I'm around them.

 

The problem is that I've only ever been friends with girls. There is no doubt in my mind that if I were better looking or at least 5'9, my experiences with women would be vastly different.

 

I am slowly making progress, but it's extremely depressing.

[WintersNightTraveler]

I love being in the company of women. I just feel so good when I'm around them.

 

If they truly are the shallow, bitchy creatures you describe, isn't that a little twisted - that you are so driven to be around them?

 

Maybe you should try to change that contradictory state.

 

My vote would be not to try to curb your desire, but temper your perspective on them with a bit more empathy to what's really going on.

[OceanTropic]

I dunno in my eyes, men need to feel needed, and women need to feel wanted. Women will always feel wanted because they have the sexual advantage, whereas men won't feel needed unless they are in a relationship. Maybe thats why they are a bit more bitter.

 

I mean lets face it, if men had the sexual advantage (as in easier to get laid) than I doubt they would want to be in a relationship so bad (where sex is never out of the question).

 

Wow is that really what it comes down to?

[AD1980]

Its not true its just that women are coddled and treated with kid glvoes more for their faults or insecurites here where Men are just told to Man up and grow a pair

 

Theres a thread about a women who will only date extreenly hot guys,if a man did that hes get killed,shes told she deserves a hot guy and not to settle for less

 

A Man here is told go to the gym hours a day to get women,why must a guy look like Mr Olympia to get womens attention?

 

Average Men seem to be invisible to even average women thee days

[WintersNightTraveler]

you can tell she didn't want to date the guy because she was nitpicking little shallow details about him

 

To some of us, multiplication tables are not little shallow details.

 

Anyway I think my fiery thread prediction is coming true, and I should bail out. Let's see if I can do it. Vegas odds are 2 to 1 that I can't resist sticking my nose back in.

[Shakz]

The real life "shallow hals" are all women.

 

Not so. Women do not "objectify" men so much as they "idealize" them. What has to occur is a meeting of minds. This does not mean women are shallow. They are anything but. They must feel that the man in their life understands them, if even on a superficial level. Without understanding a man cannot establish a rapport with a woman. Strive for understanding. Without it, any relationship is doomed.

[denise_xo]

Absolutely.

 

Women HAVE plenty of men interested in them. Regardless if the feeling is mutual or not it builds some level of base confidence and satisfaction for the women.

 

Men can go for long periods of time with NO women interested in them at all.

 

 

The difference is that a woman can pretty much go out with all guys she likes or may have potential.

 

I don't know which planet this stuff is based on, but it ain't the one I'm on.

[WintersNightTraveler]

A greek philosopher once said: "Losing one's sexual desire with age is akin to escaping the clutches of a crocodile" .

 

Oh really did he now? Clearly it wasn't Socrates...

 

Maybe it was Sappho.

[meerkat stew]

Oh really did he now? Clearly it wasn't Socrates...

 

Maybe it was Sappho.

 

I think it was Jimmy the Greek actually.

[somedude81]

If they truly are the shallow, bitchy creatures you describe, isn't that a little twisted - that you are so driven to be around them?

 

Maybe you should try to change that contradictory state.

 

My vote would be not to try to curb your desire, but temper your perspective on them with a bit more empathy to what's really going on.

Girls haven't been mean to me since High School which was 10 years ago. But there is a difference between women being nice and sweat to them wanting to actually get intimate.

 

My counselor is really trying to get me to empathize with women. But I just can't do it. Whether they know it or not, women have been causing me pain for 16 years. I'm extreemly jealous of the lives they get to live simply because they are female.

 

I don't know which planet this stuff is based on, but it ain't the one I'm on.

I avoided the logical fallacy by using pretty much, but it's still mostly valid.

 

I'd love to see your reasons for why you have not been able to date the men you were interested in. And before you list, "he was taken", as a reason, think about what that says about you.

Not so. Women do not "objectify" men so much as they "idealize" them. What has to occur is a meeting of minds. This does not mean women are shallow. They are anything but. They must feel that the man in their life understands them, if even on a superficial level. Without understanding a man cannot establish a rapport with a woman. Strive for understanding. Without it, any relationship is doomed.

ROFL!!!

 

I'm great at establishing rapport with women. I love good conversations. But since I'm only a 5'6, average looking guy I haven't gotten any of them to desire me. Explain that.

Edited August 17, 2010 by somedude81

[Shakz]

I agree than single men are more bitter and I'm one of them.

 

There are more older single men who are virgins or have never been in a relationship and even some who have never even had one date. It's more common for women to talk to their friends about their relationship issues while men don't do it so much, so they let out their frustration here.

 

I blame much of it on other men who are players who feel the need to date several women at once. I blame myself a lot too.

 

Why blame anyone, Gamma? Can I offer you a piece of advice? Go out and find any single woman. Don't concern yourself with her appearance or how you think she perceives you; just have some fun. Take her to a show, a nightclub, or whatever you find interesting, and think about her as a friend. That may be all it ever comes to. So what? Understand that she's a woman and you are a man, and regardless of appearances, or social inequalities, in the end that's that's all that matters. Let nature take it's course. She will want to **** you, if you are kind and understanding, and charming. I know you are charming. Let her edo her thing. You are fighting nature, my friend, and you will lose. What a glorious defeat!

[carhill]

Explain that.

Kiss more, bitter less

 

It just occurred to me, while reading this thread, that all of the women who professed any attraction to me (in actions and/or words) over the last couple years were/are all alcoholics. Worse, they're all married. I think that's a winning streak worth breaking

[flying]

Its not true its just that women are coddled and treated with kid glvoes more for their faults or insecurites here where Men are just told to Man up and grow a pair

 

Theres a thread about a women who will only date extreenly hot guys,if a man did that hes get killed,shes told she deserves a hot guy and not to settle for less

 

A Man here is told go to the gym hours a day to get women,why must a guy look like Mr Olympia to get womens attention?

 

Average Men seem to be invisible to even average women thee days

 

Oh yes, I thought "MD" ought to make some form of appearance in this thread ... right AD1980?

 

Anyway, most responders to the thread you're referring to - men and women - said the OP was ridiculous; so much so that in fact they doubted the veracity of her existence.

[Art_Critic]

Why blame anyone, Gamma? Can I offer you a piece of advice? Go out and find any single woman. Don't concern yourself with her appearance or how you think she perceives you; just have some fun. Take her to a show, a nightclub, or whatever you find interesting, and think about her as a friend. That may be all it ever comes to. So what? Understand that she's a woman and you are a man, and regardless of appearances, or social inequalities, in the end that's that's all that matters. Let nature take it's course. She will want to **** you, if you are kind and understanding, and charming. I know you are charming. Let her edo her thing. You are fighting nature, my friend, and you will lose. What a glorious defeat!

 

Good Post....

[shadowplay]

Because most men are single due to not being able to generate interest from a woman, which isn't a good feeling--while most single women are single by choice, but could change that in a matter of seconds.

 

I'm not bitter towards women; just stressed to an extent that I'm single.

 

this is such a myth. I have a hell of a time getting a date, and I'm decent looking woman, thin and in my twenties. I can go two years between a date.

[shadowplay]

A lot of the male responses to this thread depress me. They make it sound as though all women have it so easy. That's not true. I'm an average woman, and I'm practically invisible to guys. This weighs on my mood constantly, every day, and yet I don't let it turn into venom toward men. It just makes me sad.

[AD1980]

It's your, erm...*cough* CONFIDENCE.

 

So what if you can make a woman laugh, establish amazing rapport, have endless fascinating things to talk about, and are well-liked by countless people in real life, and even look pretty decent, somehow, it has more to do with what you anonymously type on an internet forum a couple of times a week, than it does with your height or looks or financial status.

 

People expect us to believe that women are all clairvoyant and somehow know if we secretly feel bitter sometimes, and hence when a woman rejects a guy its never because of his height or because he doesn't look model handsome or doesn't have a car, no, it's because they have ESP. Funny, how come women's clairvoyance didn't work with Ted Bundy?? In fact, it didn't even work after he was convicted either.

 

They'll tell us anything to retain their moral highground.

 

That is amazing how before knowing a guy all those positive traits like confidence get awarded to the good looking guys allot more then others..

 

Im sure its just a coincedence

 

"You know that 6'3 guy with six pack abs making 300G a year i just was drawn to him by his confidence it was just so sexy"

[shadowplay]

Is it because nobody asks you out, or rather because you are extremely picky?

 

Another thing is the obvious... are you in a relationship in the years between dates

 

Nobody asks me out. The last dude who asked me out was a creepy married man in his forties who barely spoke English. Before that I was asked out three years ago.

 

I'm not a social butterfly, so that doesn't help, but it's not like I'm hiding in a hole in the ground either. I have been pushing myself to get out more, and it doesn't help.

 

Yeah, I was in a relationship for some of that time, but most of the time when I was out and about I was alone and guys never flirted with me or asked me out. So I'm sure had I been single it would have been the same.

 

I'm a woman, and it's really not easy for me either. I think for any woman who is average looking it's just as hard. Most guys don't go for average looking women. They all try to get the attractive ones; even the average guys. I think the average women who get dates are extremely social or very aggressive, and that's just not how I am.

[somedude81]

Nobody asks me out. The last dude who asked me out was a creepy married man in his forties who barely spoke English. Before that I was asked out three years ago.

Where do you live? Where do you go to be around men?

 

I think for any woman who is average looking it's just as hard. Most guys don't go for average looking women. They all try to get the attractive ones; even the average guys. I think the average women who get dates are extremely social or very aggressive, and that's just not how I am.

In my college campus in SoCal even the overweight girls get lots of attention from men.

[shadowplay]

I know a relatively cute girl with an awesome personality I wanted to date who claims she never gets guys talking to her or hitting on her. Well, I go on her facebook, and there's like 50 guys saying "omg u look so cute I love this picture ur so beautiful", and while she is slightly above average these guys act like she's a playboy pinup. She also never goes out, so her ego isn't as huge as some other women who get to flick a whole wide array of men away like ticks in the nightclub scene, but the fact is , she still gets lots of male attention .

 

I think even if you're OK looking Shadow, you get it too. Definitely more than the average man.

 

Nah, believe me: I really, really don't. Maybe she gets attention for her photos online, but she's probably being honest that she doesn't get chatted up in real life. I swear to God; I'm being totally honest here.

 

I have a profile up on OKC and I've gotten a fair number of messages from guys, but I think it's just because my pictures are somehow very flattering. I tried to make them realistic, but inevitably I seem to look better in photos than in person. Maybe that girl is the same way.

 

I'm scared to meet any of these guys in person, because I know they'll be disappointed and reject me.

 

I've considered things as drastic as plastic surgery. I don't think I"m bad looking, but I know I'm not up to snuff according to male standards and I don't want to live a life of singlehood.

 

Also there was another user who used to post on here. I can't remember her name, but she often mentioned the fact that she never got asked out and she was quite pretty (I saw her pics). She was 23ish and had only dated a couple of guys, who ended up rejecting her.

 

Anyway, my point is that it's not as easy for all women as you'd like to believe. I think the only women who have it easy are attractive ones.

[shadowplay]

Where do you live? Where do you go to be around men?

 

 

In my college campus in SoCal even the overweight girls get lots of attention from men.

 

I live in the Northeast in a town that has a lot of young people in their twenties and thirties.

 

Wow, I never see overweight girls getting attention around here. Are you from a different planet?

Edited August 17, 2010 by shadowplay

[Star Gazer]

This is a gross generalization, but IME, men tend to externalize their pain/rejection (blame it on someone else, i.e., the woman), and women tend to internalie their pain/rejection (blame themselves).

 

When you're blaming yourself, you're not bitter. When it's someone else's "fault," it's always easier to continue to point the finger.

[Star Gazer]

Wow, I never see overweight girls getting attention around here. Are you from a different planet?

 

Wow. How incredibly... short sighted and rude.

 

Overweight women deserve and get attention too. Obviously, more so than many thin women.

[meerkat stew]

This is the kind of thing...

 

Just signed up for OKC a week ago, and I'm hooked. I haven't met anyone in person yet, because I'm kind of putting it off, but I have three tentative dates planned for the week after next.

>

>

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this is such a myth. I have a hell of a time getting a date, and I'm decent looking woman, thin and in my twenties. I can go two years between a date.

 

...that makes single men who have a hard time dating bitter here on LS.

 

They see threads such as the first one referenced above, where a poster obviously has so much dating site interest that she can casually put off meeting them, has three tentative dates, and then comes in this thread claiming to have it tough too, that the male complaint is "just a myth."

 

The guys complaining about this issue can't even get a single response online dating, let alone have the luxury of putting people off who are interested in meeting them. Their difficulties aren't even in the same ballpark as the "o we have it so tough too" females, but that never sinks in somehow. It's all about their "bad attitudes" or "lack of confidence" or "wanting women out of their league."

 

Honestly, who WOULDN'T be bitter hearing that over and over, even if there's some truth to it?