Why are single men generally more bitter than single women?

[zengirl]

Interesting.

 

So you not only had to figure out why you weren't getting approached by the men you were interested in but also why you were getting hit on by jerks. It's also safe to assume that you weren't the only girl that went through this.

 

Yes, this is my point with sharing it. Don't assume a pretty girl doesn't want to talk to someone other than the fellows approaching her, even if they seem to be "better" than you in some strange way to you (cuter, more Alpha, more "confident," whatever).

 

My question is; what is worse, getting approached by the wrong guys, or not getting any attention at all?

I have actively played down my looks (and slapped on the bitchface and my iPod or something) at times to get no attention. Sometimes this has worked and sometimes it hasn't. No attention is often fine with me. But I'm not someone who's lacking in it, so not really fair to say.

 

I suppose if I were to get all dressed up, go out to socialize, and not get approached, that'd suck as a gal. I think men should understand that most women don't approach -- though they totally should -- and not get upset about it. (We can try to change this social dynamic for the better, of course, by talking about it, but getting upset only hurts you.) But, you know what, before I started dating my HS sweetheart (who was like my best friend as a kid, but we didn't start dating till later in HS for me and he was graduating), I was never approached by fellas in my HS. I was never the "pretty girl." I had crushes and they were unrequited and not reciprocated. I thought I looked weird and ugly. I was certainly taken aback and surprised when my HS sweetheart confessed he found me attractive. I thought I was perhaps the ugliest girl on the planet at that point. I understand the feeling. I guess it sucked, and I remember being upset with it at the time, but being pretty, approached, and sometimes hounded sucks just as much.

 

My guess is, no attention is by far the worst. That's why girls go out with guys who are bad for them. But just because the guy was bad for her, doesn't mean that good things didn't happen. She could have gained relationship experience, felt love, deep connection and passion. Of course she had to get some enjoyment out of it or else she wouldn't be with the guy. With no attention, none of those things would have happened.

This is just true of people. Even negative attention is attention. It goes down to basic behavioral psychology.

 

The gender that lives with the latter is more often than not men. There is a sadness that comes from the feeling of not fully experiencing life, both the good and the bad.

I think men simply get their attention in different ways. If you want to get attention like a woman in the dating scene, you're going to be more thwarted in general than I am by picking up some "masculine" actions. This is because proactive actions are generally thought to be more "masculine" in dating. Passive actions are generally thought to be more "feminine." (Personally, I think being passive in life sucks, so I choose not to be passive in my dating life.) This is entirely unfair in some ways (just as it's unfair that I can totally make a man's shirt into something I could wear and be socially acceptable, but you can't toss on a dress) and I'm personally down with changing it, but part of it is just common sense. Men turning into a gender that is also not approaching people is way less proactive and useful than women turning into a gender that is ALSO approaching people. Everybody approaching would lead to a lot more happy people. It's happening, slowly but surely.

[Sphere]

 

 

 

Because getting a woman can be an accomplishment. Girls aren’t passed out. The average man has to put in a lot of work get a girl. For some it’s much harder than others. If you get a girl you win.

 

It's this mentality that you hold which is causing you to not be able to attract anyone.

 

It's such a weak and desperate attitude to have.

[virdicyer]

I forgot to mention: It could also come from the idea that 'women have it much better in areas men lack'- in particular: # of suitors,dates, sex, etc.

 

So I guess when you have to take on a much more active role, and face rejection, as opposed to being more passive, it can create some resentment.

 

Just my $0.02.

 

Seems to be the case with my relationship so far. She's the one in the active role of our relationship and she seems to be getting bitter.

[irc333]

I think one of the main reasons is that society or even the LAWS sides with women.

 

Like in divorces cases and such, I even hear about men requiring to pay ALIMONY to women (even though they don't have kids)

 

Also, the law tends to side with women in other cases as well, the double standards,too, likes it's okay for a woman to complain, but a man should "suck it up"

 

 

 

I find it bizarre. At least from the sample that posts on LS.

 

I don't find that most long term single women display man-hating attributes.

 

 

Yet, long term single men display so much bitterness and hatred, towards women in particular that they end up poisoning every thread on here.

 

Lots of us are in the same boat (regardless of the gender). Why hate?

[naya1]

i think because they cant voice it out as much as we do..they dont have an outlet. yeah they can tell a couple of buddies but they dont probably have in-depth conversations about it like we do.

 

most of the time the hurt they feel they just keep inside, the bad thing about this is it becomes stagnant inside and it turns into hate. a lot of them will deny it, but once u are jaded..u are bitter and thats for life- unless u change it..

 

ive noticed theres a guy here in this forums who seem like he really dislikes women, although he is married. he just has a firm generalized belief that is purely negative..

 

by the way not everyone has to pay for alimony. i honestly dont know a single guy who does..i know a lot of guys who are seperated and stuff, yeah they do give child support but no alimony.

 

the guys who are really bitter, are they the ones who are shelling out alimony? or are they just being sympathetic to those who do?