Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 You are talking about finding a life long partner. That could be equally difficult for a man and a woman. But dating casually? There is no comparison. It is so much easier for a girl to find a date then a man it's ridiculous. If a girl is at least cute, and has a good personality she could date as many men in a week as she wanted. She's also in complete control of whether sex happens or not. She has power. One thing I'm currently having trouble with is my jealousy of how easy women have it. Last week I had one date with one girl. After looking at her FB page she apparently had four "dates" with four different guys, me included. She's also the only girl I've gone out with in the past two months... Well, casual dates are not as good as you think. I don't care for them. I want a long term partner. So casual dates still make me feel empty and lonely. And much of the time guys stop calling, or want to have sex and run.. it's not exactly walk in the park. At least when a guy starts dating, he doesn't have to worry about being used for sex. Link to post Share on other sites
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I by definition can not stay faithful, just go on dates to get cheap meals, leave relationships for no good reason whatsoever, get married because I want someone to provide a house and pay the bills, have no capacity to commit, have unrealistic expectations of marriage, don't provide enough sex, withhold sex as a means of gaining power, am too emotional, am too feminist, am trying to make men into women, am trying to control my partner and making him into a door mat, am manipulative and calculating and plan my divorce years ahead. Well if you hadn't tricked me into fathering your child you wouldn't have these problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 AS a single guy unless youre good looking you have to put yourself out there and face numerous rjections in hoping to just get one yes to go on a date while most women just sit back and wait and filter who they wanna give a chance to date them.. You're right.. but so what.. Women go thru rejections as well... If they didn't then all women would be with men and not single. While being rejected is fun it certainly isn't a life altering experience either.. With each rejection a man should learn from his past of what works and what doesn't in order to reduce those rejections.. That is called life.. You are talking about finding a life long partner. That could be equally difficult for a man and a woman. But dating casually? There is no comparison. . There is a comparison.. you just aren't willing to see it.. While women have all the pussy you believe they have all the power and they don't.. Do you think women just go out with any guy because they can ? Women I know date guys they like or guys they think have potential.. Just like a man a woman doesn't want to waste her time either.. I know that was the biggest reason I tried online dating.. Time.. I worked so much and had a life outside of work that it didn't lead to many chances to date.. so I went online. But I got just as many rejections as you all get and even gave some myself and I just learned how to make the best of it and find someone to be with. Before I met my wife I had many relationships off of online dating some lasted more than a year. It is all how you make it.. I never saw women as the enemy... Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Well if you hadn't tricked me into fathering your child you wouldn't have these problems. :lmao: Yes, how could I forget that bit... Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Ironic thread is ironic. A. One answer is that when a woman starts a "why do men?" thread (like this one ), every poster in the thread doesn't internalize and personalize the topic. It's possible to have a non-flamey discussion without immediate bitterness and finger-pointing. We look at it fairly because we men know that every generalization a person makes may or may not apply to us. And if it is leveled at us, it isn't an immediate affront to us because, hey, we can present our side of it if we disagree. OTOH, any time a man raises a gripe with women generally three things -will- happen. 1. Almost every female responder will unduly internalize and personalize the issue, making it about -her-, becoming offended as if every gripe every man has with women generally is a dig on -her- an insult of -her-. Men simply don't do this to the degree women do and it aggravates us mightily. Bitterness is aggravation distilled over time. 2. The man's frustration or venting will instantly be discounted as "hatred" of women or misogyny. It... get's.... real... old, ladies. The bitterness here comes from the fact that accusing a man of hatred for expressing his issues with women is not a mere generalization, but a DIRECT PERSONAL INSULT of someone you don't know, much worse than a simple generalization. Yet women reserve the right to make this kind of obnoxious personal insult without being called on it. That causes bitterness because we feel the playing field is not level. 3. Almost no women will admit any share in the blame for whatever it is, and will instead attempt to shift 100% of the blame back to men or the man. The -classic- example of this is the "cheating" double standard. Men cheat because they can't help it, they are weak and flawed. Women OTOH cheat because... a man wasn't fulfilling all her needs. See the distinction? Men=flawed, women = driven to cheat by male flaws. :lmao: Yet people repeat this kind of OBVIOUS crap as if it's gospel >>> bitterness. Way too many -male- posters are told, "well it's all your fault" without any temperance. When people are told that over and over in dealings with women, when faced with the female tendency to refuse any tiny bit of accountability or culpability in a situation, guess what? they/we get bitter. B. The next answer is that men are stifled everywhere they seek to vent other than the net. Women tend to have "perma phone" support networks that men simply don't have. I certainly don't sit around family and friends and bore them with this stuff, I bore them with bad jokes instead. The reason -we- seem more vehement here is we've been waiting to engage women for centuries via words alone without emotional blackmail and manipulation (crying, rationalizing, feigning stupidity) involved. It's been pent up. Get used to it as the backlash to lots of cultural and social BS intensifies. And I'm just the messenger, Meerkat the Baptist if you will. I'm usually five or so years ahead of the curve. Get used to this type of bitterness until you learn how to have an adult discussion on the issue without 1, 2, 3 ab ove, and emotional manipulation techniques. Until then it's gonna get worse and worse until we just won't try to talk with you at all any more. Does that answer the "bitterness" question to your satisfaction? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 It is all how you make it.. I never saw women as the enemy... This is the key guys. I think as soon as your bitterness spills over to where you see women as enemies and go down "I need to treat them like s%it" route - you have reduced your chances of finding a woman to zero. Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 You're right.. but so what.. Women go thru rejections as well... If they didn't then all women would be with men and not single. While being rejected is fun it certainly isn't a life altering experience either.. With each rejection a man should learn from his past of what works and what doesn't in order to reduce those rejections.. That is called life.. There is a comparison.. you just aren't willing to see it.. While women have all the pussy you believe they have all the power and they don't.. Do you think women just go out with any guy because they can ? Women I know date guys they like or guys they think have potential.. Just like a man a woman doesn't want to waste her time either.. I know that was the biggest reason I tried online dating.. Time.. I worked so much and had a life outside of work that it didn't lead to many chances to date.. so I went online. But I got just as many rejections as you all get and even gave some myself and I just learned how to make the best of it and find someone to be with. Before I met my wife I had many relationships off of online dating some lasted more than a year. It is all how you make it.. I never saw women as the enemy... Theres not much to learn from a women rejecting you before u can open your mouth because shes not attracted to you other then shes not attracted to you.. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 This is the key guys. I think as soon as your bitterness spills over to where you see women as enemies and go down "I need to treat them like s%it" route - you have reduced your chances of finding a woman to zero. Yep...because it obviously is completely the women's fault for thinking and acting the way they do... Bitter men (AND women) blame the other gender because they refuse to see their own faults and shortcomings. Men feel like women are all the enemy because they don't like them "just the way they are"...but men fail to realize that dating is a competition just like everything else in life...and yes, some start out ahead of others, but in the end, it's a matter of how much you want to invest in yourself that determines how well you do in the dating arena...same goes for women... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Theres not much to learn from a women rejecting you before u can open your mouth because shes not attracted to you other then shes not attracted to you.. Then don't just ask out the 10's Lower your bar to at least the 8's. Alter your dress.. change your hair, shave... Do something different if you get rejected before you open your mouth because from what you are saying they reject your looks. What about your looks isn't appealing to the opposite sex ? You have to figure these things out yourself and nobody can tell you what the formula is. I went thru a few alterations myself.. Just because we think we look stunning in Levi's with a wife beater on doesn't mean we really are stunning. Link to post Share on other sites
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Theres not much to learn from a women rejecting you before u can open your mouth because shes not attracted to you other then shes not attracted to you.. Yes there is. Art critic covered some of them although I don't agree with lowering standards. Also it teaches you that: - sometimes there's nothing you can do - that you're not everyone's cup of tea - that some women are shallow, even if they are pretty and you would like to stick it in - that you need to take these things in stride since it's not always a real reflection on your personality when you get rejected (how could it be in this case where you haven't said anything) Link to post Share on other sites
Shakz Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Yep...because it obviously is completely the women's fault for thinking and acting the way they do... Bitter men (AND women) blame the other gender because they refuse to see their own faults and shortcomings. Men feel like women are all the enemy because they don't like them "just the way they are"...but men fail to realize that dating is a competition just like everything else in life...and yes, some start out ahead of others, but in the end, it's a matter of how much you want to invest in yourself that determines how well you do in the dating arena...same goes for women... Brilliant! Bitterness is a symptom, not a cause. Bitterness begins and ends in one's own heart. Link to post Share on other sites
goodgrief Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I second that. Completely. Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 The simplest reason, is that for women, dating is like playing the game on easy mode. Absolutely. Because most men are single due to not being able to generate interest from a woman, which isn't a good feeling--while most single women are single by choice, but could change that in a matter of seconds. I'm not bitter towards women; just stressed to an extent that I'm single. I think this explains how most bitter men feel. Not that they are bitter all the time but not having anyone interested in you can leave you in a dark place. Women HAVE plenty of men interested in them. Regardless if the feeling is mutual or not it builds some level of base confidence and satisfaction for the women. Men can go for long periods of time with NO women interested in them at all. Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Then don't just ask out the 10's Lower your bar to at least the 8's. Alter your dress.. change your hair, shave... Do something different if you get rejected before you open your mouth because from what you are saying they reject your looks. What about your looks isn't appealing to the opposite sex ? You have to figure these things out yourself and nobody can tell you what the formula is. I went thru a few alterations myself.. Just because we think we look stunning in Levi's with a wife beater on doesn't mean we really are stunning. I dont know i guess my face isnt what they like..Im in decent shape,i dresss pretyt well though im only 5'8 on a good day which i guess turns allot of women off.. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Well, casual dates are not as good as you think. I don't care for them. I want a long term partner. So casual dates still make me feel empty and lonely. And much of the time guys stop calling, or want to have sex and run.. it's not exactly walk in the park. At least when a guy starts dating, he doesn't have to worry about being used for sex. Do you think I don't want a long term thing? I'm 28 years old. By the time my dad was my age, he's already been married, had two kids and divorced. The problem is that it's been so hard to even get started. My longest "relationship" was two weeks. I can't even imagine what it's like to date a girl for a month. I'm still trying to get experience and more comfortable being around women. But I've had absolutely horrible luck. The kicker is that my story is not unique. There are many men that for whatever reason have had terrible dating lives. It's the reason the whole PU industry even exists. The main problem is that women are shallow. Very, very shallow. We've all heard how men are visual and are pigs for drooling over hot girls. The truth is that women are much more picky then men when it comes to looks which also includes height. Women are also attracted to wealth. That boils down to that if a guy isn't very good looking or rich, he's going to have a very hard time. Even though men don't get used for sex. We do get used for attention. Also some women are general users and will take advantage of men because they know they have power. If they didn't then all women would be with men and not single. Bull sh*t. If a woman is at least decent looking and the vast majority are, there are only a few reasons why a girl is single. She's only single because she wants to be, and she's still getting laid. She hasn't found a guy who's good enough for her to settle down with. She found the guy but he's already taken, and she may become the OW. Do you think women just go out with any guy because they can ? Women I know date guys they like or guys they think have potential.. Just like a man a woman doesn't want to waste her time either.. What's your point? I only date girls that I like or think they have potential... The difference is that a woman can pretty much go out with all guys she likes or may have potential. Link to post Share on other sites
kdark Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Because most men are single due to not being able to generate interest from a woman, which isn't a good feeling--while most single women are single by choice, but could change that in a matter of seconds. I'm not bitter towards women; just stressed to an extent that I'm single. I have a feeling this is the reason. When a woman isn't dating it is because she chooses to turn down the men in her life her are asking her out on dates. She always has an option. Whereas men literally will not find a single date unless they put themselves out there. As a woman you can just play the field passively for a while and see what comes along without really trying, while a man has to be more active and try a lot harder to get a lot less. And I'm not being bitter at all, either. I rather enjoy the fact that I can most of the time go out to a bar and have a good time with my friends without some obnoxious party girl coming up to me and hitting on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Absolutely. I think this explains how most bitter men feel. Not that they are bitter all the time but not having anyone interested in you can leave you in a dark place. Women HAVE plenty of men interested in them. Regardless if the feeling is mutual or not it builds some level of base confidence and satisfaction for the women. Men can go for long periods of time with NO women interested in them at all. This just reeks of self pity... If women show you no interest then it is YOU not them that has to change or alter something to generate that interest.. Women generate the interest they get.. So do the men.. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 This is the key guys. I think as soon as your bitterness spills over to where you see women as enemies and go down "I need to treat them like s%it" route - you have reduced your chances of finding a woman to zero. I have never treated a woman poorly or expressed my bitterness to her. When I'm with a girl I'm usually very happy and simply excited to just be around her. The way things seem, girls actually prefer the guys who do treat them like crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Bull sh*t. If a woman is at least decent looking and the vast majority are, there are only a few reasons why a girl is single. She's only single because she wants to be, and she's still getting laid. She hasn't found a guy who's good enough for her to settle down with. She found the guy but he's already taken, and she may become the OW. If you really think this then you lost before the race even got started.. Good luck Dude... Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Absolutely. I think this explains how most bitter men feel. Not that they are bitter all the time but not having anyone interested in you can leave you in a dark place. Women HAVE plenty of men interested in them. Regardless if the feeling is mutual or not it builds some level of base confidence and satisfaction for the women. Men can go for long periods of time with NO women interested in them at all. I agree..Its a lonely awful feeling not havign any women attracted to you.. I dont believe in making women the enemy or blaming them for not being attracted to me at all its jut that its frustrating and sometimes when people vent they may say something they may not mean out of anger and loneliness.. I dont appreicate when people whove never exprienced this male or female try to tell you what to do and say you have no right feeling the way you do when theyve never experienced it.. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Men can go for long periods of time with NO women interested in them at all. You can't possibly know this unless you personally ask every woman on this planet... Hey, wait a minute, that sounds like what a guy should be doing anyway with women he is interested in...go figure... But I'm sure there are times when a girl is interested in a guy, but either due to the timidness of one or both parties or other circumstances, nothing ever comes of it... And to echo what Art said and what I know Green would say, you have to generate interest... Link to post Share on other sites
InceptorsRule Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 This is the key guys. I think as soon as your bitterness spills over to where you see women as enemies and go down "I need to treat them like s%it" route - you have reduced your chances of finding a woman to zero. More bad dating advice to men courtesy of the distaff side LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 This just reeks of self pity... If women show you no interest then it is YOU not them that has to change or alter something to generate that interest.. Maybe some guys just dont have what physically and/or mentally interests women and theres nothing you can do.. You cant force attraction Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Maybe some guys just dont have what physically and/or mentally interests women and theres nothing you can do.. You cant force attraction Gyms and libraries. Link to post Share on other sites
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 The main problem is that women are shallow. Very, very shallow. SD, as long as you keep oversimplifying the problem you will not make any progress. If it were this easy any reasonably intelligent guy could figure out the solution. You've claimed both that women are shallow, and also that you are "generally very happy and simply excited" to be around them. If both are true, that's pretty unhealthy don't you think? Link to post Share on other sites
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