Why are single men generally more bitter than single women?

[somedude81]

This thread is depressing. I had no idea that, as a female, I was supposed to have an easier time dating. I do not. I get approached, but not by quality guys, and I am not picky. A majority of the guys who approach me are twice my age or are the "thug" types just looking for sex. The type of guys I like (nerdy and intellectual) are never interested in me. It could be a regional thing, women outnumber men big time here, so if you aren't above average, you're SOL here. Smart/nerdy girls get NO love.

Where is here? I'd love to go to a place where the girls are the majority.

 

BTW I had a crush on a smart/nerdy girl a couple months ago and she rejected me after we hung out for a couple of times. She felt like my perfect match. Guess I wasn't "quality" enough for her.

[ViciousViolet]

We have feelings too, and men get hurt just the same as women. A lot of people are jaded because they expect one thing and get something different. Emotional pain is worse than physical pain for some, the hurt can last decades not like a broken bone, although there's chronic pain.

 

The internet allows the otherwise introverted, sad person to type out their feelings. I've been a part of many groups and boards over the years, you see it all. I was a shy, nerdy kid once. Now? Not so much.

 

Well this is definitely eye-opening and there are so many factors that can account for different experiences. A lot of this is new to me. I just hate it that some of the guys here truly believe that all women have it easier. Most do but many of us do not. Some of us share the same hurt as you guys. For guys, I can only imagine how hard it is to face rejection every time you decide to show some appreciation to a woman:(.

[Woggle]

It's not even getting rejected. If I go up to a strange woman and she rejects me no biggie because she doesn't know me from adam but the things I have experienced and the things I see other men go through in relationships and marriages make it really hard not to be bitter sometimes.

[meerkat stew]

Some of us share the same hurt as you guys.

 

Oh c'mon, you're a fox.

[ViciousViolet]

Where is here? I'd love to go to a place where the girls are the majority.

 

BTW I had a crush on a smart/nerdy girl a couple months ago and she rejected me after we hung out for a couple of times. She felt like my perfect match. Guess I wasn't "quality" enough for her.

 

Many cities down south, there are about 40,000 more women in my city than men. My college campus is about 13,000 women and 8,000 men. Within my ethnic group there are 3x as many women on campus than men, so yes...the men can and do juggle multiple women. It is indeed a different world so understand why some of us cannot relate. Intelligence and personality will get you nowhere when there are plenty of hot, smart, sexy chicks with awesome personalities in the same room competing for the same guys.

[dispatch3d]

That's ok w/me. You have good reasons not to . But I honestly was not trying to pick a fight

 

I am not picking a fight. I am trying to help you by making you self aware. I have no idea which of the two groups you fit into, it's just a possibility you come across one of the two ways....

 

checking the thread now cause I left that huge post. Kinda hate saying one thing then doing another.

[skydiveaddict]

aw I always rub people the wrong way. then I submit my my post and it's too late to take it back. You;re right. Half the **** I write I wouldn't read either

 

In real life I'm not such a caustic guy

Edited August 18, 2010 by skydiveaddict

[Chicago_Guy]

You are talking about finding a life long partner. That could be equally difficult for a man and a woman.

 

But dating casually? There is no comparison. It is so much easier for a girl to find a date then a man it's ridiculous. If a girl is at least cute, and has a good personality she could date as many men in a week as she wanted. She's also in complete control of whether sex happens or not. She has power.

 

One thing I'm currently having trouble with is my jealousy of how easy women have it. Last week I had one date with one girl. After looking at her FB page she apparently had four "dates" with four different guys, me included. She's also the only girl I've gone out with in the past two months...

 

You are correct. The reason why it is so much easier for women to date casually than men is because it is far easier for women to date a man who is out of her league in terms of status than it is for a man to date a woman who is out of his league.

[jamesum]

I find it bizarre. At least from the sample that posts on LS.

 

I don't find that most long term single women display man-hating attributes.

 

 

Yet, long term single men display so much bitterness and hatred, towards women in particular that they end up poisoning every thread on here.

 

Lots of us are in the same boat (regardless of the gender). Why hate?

Lol, thats what testosterone does to your brain.

 

I mean sexual frustration is a strong enough motive that could turn a lot of men into suicide bombers.

 

Thats why guys, take the libido killer I suggested in another thread. Your life will be much easier.

Edited August 18, 2010 by jamesum

[InceptorsRule]

Dont feel like getting rejected by hundred of women in hopes one may say yes becasue she has no other options or bioligcal clock is ticking..

No? It worked for me.

 

The trick is you need to find some severely emotionally damaged woman who has sufficient "potential", naviagate through the rocky shoals of the early years of the relationship, keep your fingers crossed, and hope she "ages out" of her personality disorder at some point before she divorces you.

[InceptorsRule]

tbh I usually don't read your threads. Like this thread is obviously going to involve a train wreck of bitter guys that I'd prefer to avoid.

 

Choo! Choo! All aboard!

[Sphere]

I'm often called bitter by women on this forum, but that to me is just their frustrations shining through. I have to laugh when I am accused of hating women because I refuse to treat them like Goddesses.

 

I would say there are a lot of bitter men and women in the dating game, it is frustrating when you keep making poor choices or when you are fooled around by people you have a genuine interest in, but that's life, it's a struggle and most of the time it's not very fair, but you just have to soldier onwards.

 

We've all become bitter at some point in our lives, I know I used to be, but I realized that in order to prevent ill-feeling, I needed to develop a thicker skin and that comes from learning the lessons from these incidents in the dating game where the women messed me around.

 

You just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. Being bitter doesn't help one iota, all it does is soul destroy.

[InceptorsRule]

A majority of the guys who approach me are twice my age or are the "thug" types just looking for sex.

 

 

There's no thug like an old thug.

[zengirl]

I can't help to generalize when I notice a pattern. I don't know why women take it so personal.

 

You quite often don't point out patterns. You talk about women en masse in general. I'm someone who sees and points out patterns, but to think 50% of the world can be summed up in most of the generalizations you make is just silly. What you're missing are other points of inclusion besides simply being a woman. I don't take umbrage to people who talk about "kinds of women" or "kinds of men," but anyone who likes to generalize and group solely by gender or race bums me out big time. That's just ignorance and stereotyping. You don't even fully trust your own wife!

 

To put you on the defensive--to make you feel bad because "you hurt her feelings" even though you weren't even making a point directed at anyone in particular.

 

My feelings are not usually hurt when I speak up. My feelings are pretty rarely hurt by strangers. And I can't remember them ever being hurt on the internet. Just think stereotypes this broad are for losers.

 

Actually the entire thread is another twist on the same tactic. See how clever the OP is by framing the question, "Why are men so bitter?" If you "bite" at that, you're immediately on the defensive because, after all--you're assumed to be a "bitter man" and then have to justify it.

 

I do think the thread is a bit ridiculous. I already said it's more than a leap to suggest men are more embittered by dating or being single than women. I find it amusing that all the men jumped in to say why they were bitter and very few to say "I'm not," though loads of LS men who post do seem to be bitter.

 

See, I will generalize in this way. It is a more reasonable pool with basic observations; the idea that I could observe all men in the world, or even enough to make a generalization, would be laughable. Also, even on LS I find male exceptions, and I certainly find many more in the world, and I note them in my "loads of" verbiage.

[zengirl]

No? It worked for me.

 

The trick is you need to find some severely emotionally damaged woman who has sufficient "potential", naviagate through the rocky shoals of the early years of the relationship, keep your fingers crossed, and hope she "ages out" of her personality disorder at some point before she divorces you.

 

That sounds like a pretty miserable life. Is being single really that bad?

[ViciousViolet]

No? It worked for me.

 

The trick is you need to find some severely emotionally damaged woman who has sufficient "potential", naviagate through the rocky shoals of the early years of the relationship, keep your fingers crossed, and hope she "ages out" of her personality disorder at some point before she divorces you.

 

I don't know what type of women you guys are chasing, but I guarantee you that the guys venting here are the same ones who turn girls like me and some of my friends down on the regular. I dare anyone to try to prove me wrong. How about you men answer this for me, why am I still single? Why are some of my girlfriends still single?

[mr.dream merchant]

I don't know what type of women you guys are chasing, but I guarantee you that the guys venting here are the same ones who turn girls like me and some of my friends down on the regular. I dare anyone to try to prove me wrong. How about you men answer this for me, why am I still single? Why are some of my girlfriends still single?

 

You may not be physically attractive to a majority of men. The same with your friends.

[TouchedByViolet]

I don't know what type of women you guys are chasing, but I guarantee you that the guys venting here are the same ones who turn girls like me and some of my friends down on the regular. I dare anyone to try to prove me wrong. How about you men answer this for me, why am I still single? Why are some of my girlfriends still single?

 

Nice name ViciousViolet . How often do you go on dates? How often do you feel like you "connect" with a guy you are spending time with. Are you over weight? IME most women have a options, but they may not be attracted to the options they have.

[ViciousViolet]

You may not be physically attractive to a majority of men. The same with your friends.

 

Exactly. I cannot really change that, and being that physical attraction is important, I don't want a guy to "settle" for me. I am okay with that, but I'll be damned if I sit back and watch a bunch of guys bash women and place us all in a box when there are many of us out here who are simply not like the others. Luckily for me, the women in my family do not age and I'm serious about my health and fitness. So I guess once I get to the age where guys are all out of shape, financially ruined for trying to impress the hot girls, balding and unhappy, they'll finally look at me--youthful and glowing, well traveled, financially stable with a body untouched by childbirth--and think "wow, I should have given her a chance.:p" Too bad I'll be a cougar by then:D. I'm being dramatic but this is how I feel sometimes.

[ViciousViolet]

Nice name ViciousViolet . How often do you go on dates? How often do you feel like you "connect" with a guy you are spending time with. Are you over weight? IME most women have a options, but they may not be attracted to the options they have.

 

Looking at your name, now I feel like a pervert:(.

 

Not overweight by a long shot:laugh:! In fact, my overweight friends have plenty of guys so maybe I should start eating more.

 

I used to date, but it gets frustrating after a while because these guys will disappear after a month to continue chasing some girl who does not want them. Naturally, I become the friend who has to offer relationship advice. Sucks, but I do it because I want someone to be happy and in love.

 

The only guys I ever have luck with are the 'thuggish' guys because they see very attracted to me. They aren't bad guys at all, but we usually have nothing in common. The funny thing is that guys talk about how women only want the bad boys, well I'm not into the bad boys but they are very into me. I don't like men who spend a lot of money on flashy jewelry, clothes and cars yet if I wanted such a guy I could easily have one tomorrow. They say that as a woman you should like who likes you, and perhaps this is true. I totally understand why I attract the "thuggish" guys, and many of them are approaching an age where they are ready to settle down. I do think that maybe I should give up on the intellectual/nerdy types because they aren't feeling me.

[Woggle]

Chances are you probably choose to be single and there is nothing wrong with that but don't go blaming men.

[TouchedByViolet]

Looking at your name, now I feel like a pervert:(.

 

I didn't even think of that but now that you mention it... creeper

 

Not overweight by a long shot:laugh:! In fact, my overweight friends have plenty of guys so maybe I should start eating more.

 

I used to date, but it gets frustrating after a while because these guys will disappear after a month to continue chasing some girl who does not want them. Naturally, I become the friend who has to offer relationship advice. Sucks, but I do it because I want someone to be happy and in love.

 

The only guys I ever have luck with are the 'thuggish' guys because they see very attracted to me. They aren't bad guys at all, but we usually have nothing in common. The funny thing is that guys talk about how women only want the bad boys, well I'm not into the bad boys but they are very into me. I don't like men who spend a lot of money on flashy jewelry, clothes and cars yet if I wanted such a guy I could easily have one tomorrow. They say that as a woman you should like who likes you, and perhaps this is true. I totally understand why I attract the "thuggish" guys, and many of them are approaching an age where they are ready to settle down. I do think that maybe I should give up on the intellectual/nerdy types because they aren't feeling me.

 

you attract thugs... ROFL. Do you look like a girl from a rap video?

 

Are you an intellectual/nerdy type yourself? I have geek tendecancies and find very few women into nerdy men. The ratio of women who like nerdy guys to that of the sheer number of nerdy guys is very low.

 

Finding someone to have a compatible and loving relationship is a huge challenge regardless of your level of attraction. I just hope I'll get lucky sooner rather than later

Edited August 18, 2010 by TouchedByViolet

[ViciousViolet]

I didn't even think of that but now that you mention it... creeper

 

 

 

you attract thugs... ROFL. Do you look like a girl from a rap video?

 

Are you an intellectual/nerdy type yourself? I have geek tendecancies and find very few women into nerdy men. The ratio of women who like nerdy guys to that of the sheer number of nerdy guys is very low.

 

Finding someone to have a compatible and loving relationship is a huge challenge regardless of your level of attraction. I just hope I'll get lucky sooner rather than later

 

The thing with "thugs" or any bad boys is that they spent most of their youth having women at their disposal. They never had a problem snagging a hot/sexy woman. By the time they are ready to settle down, many are just looking for something different. So while I'm not hot like a video girl, many are turned on by whatever else I have to offer. I never pursued them or chased them, so for some I am a breath of fresh air.

 

A nerdy/geeky guy is unimpressed because girls like me remind him of his male friends. Most of the men who are dealing with emotionally damaged women are basically getting involved with the bad boys' leftovers. These women are emotionally damaged because they spent their youth chasing after men who were not ready to settle down. I see it on here all of the time. Some women are still sleeping with their exes and entering into FWB situations thinking that this will make the men fall in love with them. Then they get bitter when the men use them, even though most of these guys were honest about their intentions from the beginning. These women then go on to enter into relationships with men who actually care about them, but there is no excitement in having a decent guy for these types, so they just use this as an opportunity to boost their ego and get back at the guys who did them wrong by hurting an innocent guy.

 

So while it might seem odd that a nerdy/geeky girl like myself has no problem attracting the bad boys, it happens. Nice guys finish last because they do not understand how the game works.

[zengirl]

The thing with "thugs" or any bad boys is that they spent most of their youth having women at their disposal. They never had a problem snagging a hot/sexy woman. By the time they are ready to settle down, many are just looking for something different. So while I'm not hot like a video girl, many are turned on by whatever else I have to offer. I never pursued them or chased them, so for some I am a breath of fresh air.

 

A nerdy/geeky guy is unimpressed because girls like me remind him of his male friends. Most of the men who are dealing with emotionally damaged women are basically getting involved with the bad boys' leftovers. These women are emotionally damaged because they spent their youth chasing after men who were not ready to settle down. I see it on here all of the time. Some women are still sleeping with their exes and entering into FWB situations thinking that this will make the men fall in love with them. Then they get bitter when the men use them, even though most of these guys were honest about their intentions from the beginning. These women then go on to enter into relationships with men who actually care about them, but there is no excitement in having a decent guy for these types, so they just use this as an opportunity to boost their ego and get back at the guys who did them wrong by hurting an innocent guy.

 

So while it might seem odd that a nerdy/geeky girl like myself has no problem attracting the bad boys, it happens. Nice guys finish last because they do not understand how the game works.

 

Interesting theory. But then what happens when said nerdy/geeky guys realize that these women aren't into them and seek to change their bad people-picking habits?

[somedude81]

Most of the men who are dealing with emotionally damaged women are basically getting involved with the bad boys' leftovers. These women are emotionally damaged because they spent their youth chasing after men who were not ready to settle down. I see it on here all of the time. Some women are still sleeping with their exes and entering into FWB situations thinking that this will make the men fall in love with them. Then they get bitter when the men use them, even though most of these guys were honest about their intentions from the beginning. These women then go on to enter into relationships with men who actually care about them, but there is no excitement in having a decent guy for these types, so they just use this as an opportunity to boost their ego and get back at the guys who did them wrong by hurting an innocent guy.

 

So while it might seem odd that a nerdy/geeky girl like myself has no problem attracting the bad boys, it happens. Nice guys finish last because they do not understand how the game works.

Wow, your post was just filled with insight. You explained it very well.

 

Someday, I hope to make my avatar the truth.

Interesting theory. But then what happens when said nerdy/geeky guys realize that these women aren't into them and seek to change their bad people-picking habits?

The guys will not realize it. Speaking from personal experience, guys like me are just super happy that a girl is actually interested in us. It's so rare for me to get any female attention that it's hard to tell when a girl is interested or not. And of course it really hurts to find out that the girl that was spending time with me not really interested because she suddenly decides she's bored and just disappears without saying a word. I'm still shocked that our most recent date seemed good and things felt like they were progressing, and she just stops replying to texts.

Edited August 18, 2010 by somedude81