Lost control

[Cutelilgungirl]

Okay, I was in a relationship with this guy for the last 2 years. Recently (June) we broke up over this girl he used to have a super crush on years ago. He told me that no matter what was said or done he would always take her side over mine. (I broke up with him without thinking)

 

After a week of not talking he txt me and told me he missed me and that he wanted to hang out the next day. Stupid decision on my part number 1. I went over there. We hung out all day and he acted like we were not broke up. Stupid decision on my part number 2. I slept with him that night. 3. i visited and slept with him every night for a week. Then friday came along and he told me that he loves me and wants to be with me but he doesn't know if he can trust me. (keep in mind I didnt do anything) 4. I let him convince me that we should just keep sleeping together and hanging out becasue we still love each other.

 

 

Its been two months now and His actions and words have me totally confused and I feel like I'm going crazy. He invited me to go on a week long camping trip with his whole family (extended family) it was fun and he acted like we were together. but since we got back he acts like i have a disease if I even touch his hand, he refuses to kiss me unless he's wanting some. He still tells me he doesnt know if we will ever be together again but his reasons have changed. He says I need to change everything in my life to be with him. (IE. get skinny, start making more, leave my family in the dust because he hates them) but he still wants to have sex and still tells me how angry and upset he would get if I dated someone else. but in all reality I know he has a thing for the girl he used to like but he swears up and down that he doesn't like her he thinks she's ugly... but he's always glued to his phone texting her and all the signs and things he does and says points to it. Example... the other day she drove by his house and he interrupted my talking to say Hey so and so just drove by. He perked up and was happier than I've seen him in a while.

 

 

Should I keep torturing myself in hopes that he is telling the truth and still loves me or should I move on? I feel crazy and this friends with benz is not working for me I'm a emotional mess when I'm alone in my car. I bawl and bawl and bawl. Someone please help

[goodgrief]

Congratulations. you have been demoted to position of FWB, from Girlfriend. This entails a severe paycut, and you get a lot less for your investment.

 

If this demotion does not suit you, Management suggests you quit the post immediately (no period of notice, or notification necessary) and find yourself a better, more worthwhile, fulfilling engagement, where your "Employer" will give you every advantage possible of being the star in his eyes.

[Cutelilgungirl]

Congratulations. you have been demoted to position of FWB, from Girlfriend. This entails a severe paycut, and you get a lot less for your investment.

 

If this demotion does not suit you, Management suggests you quit the post immediately (no period of notice, or notification necessary) and find yourself a better, more worthwhile, fulfilling engagement, where your "Employer" will give you every advantage possible of being the star in his eyes.

 

 

Thank you. But can I ask what is FWB? All of this sucks and I dont know how to handle it. I used to be strong but for some reason I let this ex walk all over me. I hate it I need to stand up and make him know i'm not putting up with it anymore, but there is one thing standing in the way... My mind keeps telling me to believe him and to keep hoping that he does love me and that all the signs I keep putting together aren't there.

[Cutelilgungirl]

Thank you. But can I ask what is FWB? All of this sucks and I dont know how to handle it. I used to be strong but for some reason I let this ex walk all over me. I hate it I need to stand up and make him know i'm not putting up with it anymore, but there is one thing standing in the way... My mind keeps telling me to believe him and to keep hoping that he does love me and that all the signs I keep putting together aren't there.

 

 

Never mind I get it FWB "Friends with Benefits" It doesn't really feel like friends with benefits though I feel "Used and abused" Cause I'm not benefiting from any of this. He is.

[goodgrief]

A Friend.

With 'benefits'.

 

in other words, you have gone from girlfriend, to ex, and now you are a convenient lay.

if you get too close to him, he makes sure it's not mutual. Unless of course, it means he can get between your legs.

You need to be angry. A little at yourself, but a lot at him.

And make yourself a permanent, completely absent and definite EX, again.

 

And this time - there will BE no going back.

(stupid him).

[goodgrief]

Ok, you re-posted before I managed to respond.

You're right. You have no benefits. But this is all going his way (HIS benefits, not yours) is what I meant.....

[Cutelilgungirl]

A Friend.

With 'benefits'.

 

in other words, you have gone from girlfriend, to ex, and now you are a convenient lay.

if you get too close to him, he makes sure it's not mutual. Unless of course, it means he can get between your legs.

You need to be angry. A little at yourself, but a lot at him.

And make yourself a permanent, completely absent and definite EX, again.

 

And this time - there will BE no going back.

(stupid him).

 

 

This is great advice. I'm going to talk to him tonight. I can't find someone else if i'm still playing his game.

[MFC]

This is great advice. I'm going to talk to him tonight. I can't find someone else if i'm still playing his game.

 

 

There you go, that's the spirit. It'll take a little while to get over all this, but the sooner you start, the better for you.

[goodgrief]

I'd even skip the 'talking to him'.

He's been less than courteous to you, why afford him this level of respect, when he clearly doesn't deserve it?

[Green]

That girl he is glued to his phone txting.. YOu know he is already with her or wants to be with her right? Get out of denial.

 

Just stop all contact with your bf... don't think about him, don't look at pictures of him, block him on the internet and stop taking his calls.

 

Move on you are being used... some one always is in a FWB situation.

 

He hates you can't you see. He just uses you like a piece of meat and talks to you with no respect.

 

Leave him if you respect yourself. Take responsibility for the situation you have put yourself in and LEAVE. He'll get worse not better. You don't need to catch him in the act or get him to admit to anything... Hes bad and you know it.