Best friend and the next step

[paradoxrip]

Hi I posted this in Dating. Then realized friends and lovers would be better.

I hope you all can shed some light on my dilemma.

 

I am recently divorced. I have 2 young girls after 6 months of healing I decided to start dating a close friend.

 

Here's my dilemma.

 

1st. She is ALOT younger than I am.

2nd. We've been very close friends for a long time.

3rd. We have had a great relationship. I mean she's been the best friend I've ever had boy or girl. We are so similar it's almost creepy.

 

Before marrage I never had problems finding a date. Carried the lable "slut" by all my female friends.

 

I don't really have any problems now either. I've had a lot of wome come on to me when im out with friends. BUT all I can think about is my Best Friend. I have let her know how I feel and we've started to date.

 

Her problem is she has had 2 horrific break ups before I knew her. When we decided to take it to the next level beyond friends she has REALLY changed towards me.

 

I know what it is. I just don't know how to go about getting around it. She has a HUGE, MASSIVE trust issue. She is completely terrified about getting her heart broken again. She has built this wall up so high I don't know if I can navigate it. Some nights when she has a few drinks she relaxes and opens up and i see the side of her I know I could have a deep relationship with.

 

Then the next day it's back to the emotional stiff arm. She backs off things she's said or downplays them. She then we'll play a cat n mouse game for a few days. I almost gave up but she scrambled, back peddled, and said she'd try harder. She knows she has a problem, she wants to fall in love with me. But its the fear that is controlling her.

 

So the frustration remains. I know she loves me but her fear, anxiety and the stress is dominating her physically and emotionally.

 

Im just confused.