Attacking Anxiety and Depression

[Gunny376]

Separation/Divorce go hand in hand with anxiety and depression.

 

I make no "bones" about the subject that I currently seeing a psychologist. TriCare (my military health care provider) usually authorizes eight visits. Me? They authorized 22.

 

Depression, anxiety, institutionalization, hypervigilance, hyper-attentiveness. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

 

Yea I've been drinking more than I should. To keep from thinking about things from my past that I've been through. And all of that drinking affected my thinking. It affected my my judgement, focus, and concentration ~ to the point after 5 years and 10 months I wrote up a 'Certification" on one of sixteen elements (Copper, silver, arsenic, bismuth, aluminum) as a .090 instead of a .009 ~ a typo.

 

The owners middle son got a whole of it first and fired me on the spot. (Good luck finding someone to work second shift Wed ~ Sun! for the next five years and 10 months to include holidays ~ Yea I've worked every holiday and weekend for the last five years and 10 months)

 

Last year I had some bills, ~ car payment and such ~ but now I've got the "nut I've got to crack?" down to less than $990 ~ and my military retirement covers all of that and then some. And about to get that down to around $800.

 

My military medical premium is only $19.17 a month with a $12 co-pay per Dr's visit.

 

I having to have a couple of thousand dollars worth of dental work done ~ and have yet to pay anything out of pocket.

 

With my military retirement + a $7.15 an hour job? I'll never make less than $37,000 a year.

 

Not to brag ~ that's not my point of this thread. I still suffer from depression and anxiety etc.

 

My point is I'm 53. I've got at best another twenty to thirty years left.

 

I ordered "Overcoming Anxiety and Depression" off of the television (The total thing cost $479.92 ~ which can be split up on eight months of payments ~ and if you can't handle that? They will work with you on payment plans)

 

I got it today, and I'm really impressed with it. (And Tony please don't be PO'd with me for endorsing a commercial product here)

 

In fact if I could afford it? I would gladly buy at least 10 of them for you guys and gals.

 

Its a "way" back to your life, your self respect, your self dignity, your self confidence ~ HELL the the sixteen or so cards are worth it alone!

 

I wish you all well ~ God Bless and may you walk with him!

 

Guns

[alphamale]

TriCare (my military health care provider)

thats good insurance

 

good luck gunny

[quankanne]

God love the military because it's been my insurance provider most of my life, first as my dad's dependent up through my college years, then about 10 years ago, when my husband's status as a disabled vet made me eligible for ChampVA.

 

Gunny, I'm really excited that you've found a tool to work with, and especially that TriCARE is giving you the needed help. I can't imagine it's an easy thing to deal with so many different needs, but a big part of it having the tools you need.

 

happy healing, and definitely keep us posted on how the "Overcoming" series is working for you

[keane2010]

Separation/Divorce go hand in hand with anxiety and depression.

 

 

Yea I've been drinking more than I should. To keep from thinking about things from my past that I've been through. And all of that drinking affected my thinking. It affected my my judgement, focus, and concentration ~ to the point after 5 years and 10 months I wrote up a 'Certification" on one of sixteen elements (Copper, silver, arsenic, bismuth, aluminum) as a .090 instead of a .009 ~ a typo.

 

The owners middle son got a whole of it first and fired me on the spot. (Good luck finding someone to work second shift Wed ~ Sun! for the next five years and 10 months to include holidays ~ Yea I've worked every holiday and weekend for the last five years and 10 months)

 

Guns

 

 

sorry for not responding to the point of the post, but I just can't get over the employer's intolerance for the mistake. What a jerk!

 

Years ago,when I was a supervisor, I began to suspect an employee of coming in to work intoxicated. He was a good employee, but going through a divorce. I took away his forklift permit, made sure he signed up for the free counseling, and let him carpool with me for a whil. It's what any decent boss would do.

[Minnie09]

I'm deep down in the depression trap right now and I don't know if I'll ever make it back out. I had to leave my H after his A in order to maintain my dignity. I would've been able to forgive, but his attitude was "what happened, happened", so forget it and be done with it. My hopes for a little support and remorse from his side were not met, and on top of that he kept lying to me.

 

Sooooo.....to make a long story short, and sorry for threadjacking, I started my own life. I am a single mom now, unemployed, living from my savings, not able to find a job, not able to afford IC (oh how I would love to try that), and afraid of being on my own maybe forever. This is where the anxiety comes from. Also, I am constantly worried about my son. He's still a toddler, but he misses his dad terribly. I know it's not my fault, but how do you explain that to him?

 

The depression - and deep sadness -stems from my disappointment. How can he go on with his life without us, almost unaffected, while I'm the one who*struggles? Does he not know what he has done to his family? Will he be happy*with OW? I sure think he does not deserve happiness, even though I am convinced I am a bad, revengeful person for thinking that.*

 

But I can't help myself. I hope my relief will come*as soon as I can find a job and exH*gets to a point where he deeply regrets. But I don't even believe he's capable to feel regret, otherwise he would've shown it by now.

 

I know we shouldn't focus on anyone but ourselves in those tough troubled times. If I only knew how to stop thinking about what HE did wrong, asking myself why HE fricking chose to do so over and over again! I would have more energy to improve MY situation. I'm just too damned bitter.*

Sorry for venting.

[dgiirl]

Gunny you are an inspiration to everyone around here! I'm glad you are getting the help you need! Stay strong and keep up the good fight

[carhill]

Hey man, good on ya, sounds like a healthy life plan. Hope they don't mess with your military health benefits. I didn't realize you were so young; thought you were Lakey's age.

 

I paid a lot more than 5 bills, but MC did a lot of the same stuff for my depression and anxiety. The doc said he didn't think I needed drugs and ultimately he was right. Totally situational.

 

I've got the settlement conference tomorrow (with stbx) and then immediately after the meeting at the SNF to lay out my mom's end of life care. I'm not anxious or depressed at all. One day at a time. It'll all work out.

 

Keep up the good work and thanks for all the help you give others here.

[skydiveaddict]

I'm deep down in the depression trap right now and I don't know if I'll ever make it back out. I had to leave my H after his A in order to maintain my dignity. I would've been able to forgive, but his attitude was "what happened, happened", so forget it and be done with it. My hopes for a little support and remorse from his side were not met, and on top of that he kept lying to me.

 

Sooooo.....to make a long story short, and sorry for threadjacking, I started my own life. I am a single mom now, unemployed, living from my savings, not able to find a job, not able to afford IC (oh how I would love to try that), and afraid of being on my own maybe forever. This is where the anxiety comes from. Also, I am constantly worried about my son. He's still a toddler, but he misses his dad terribly. I know it's not my fault, but how do you explain that to him?

 

The depression - and deep sadness -stems from my disappointment. How can he go on with his life without us, almost unaffected, while I'm the one who*struggles? Does he not know what he has done to his family? Will he be happy*with OW? I sure think he does not deserve happiness, even though I am convinced I am a bad, revengeful person for thinking that.*

 

But I can't help myself. I hope my relief will come*as soon as I can find a job and exH*gets to a point where he deeply regrets. But I don't even believe he's capable to feel regret, otherwise he would've shown it by now.

 

I know we shouldn't focus on anyone but ourselves in those tough troubled times. If I only knew how to stop thinking about what HE did wrong, asking myself why HE fricking chose to do so over and over again! I would have more energy to improve MY situation. I'm just too damned bitter.*

Sorry for venting.

 

Minnie I feel awful for you. perhaps you need to seek therapy.

 

I'm on anti-depressants and in therapy for ptsd. I t has really helped

[You Go Girl]

Interesting Gunny, and quite an investment. I hope it was well worth it.

 

A sense of normalcy. I'm learning that for me, the best thing is to follow a schedule, find a new pattern (healthy) to my day. You might find this worth thinking about, Minnie. New rituals and habits.

When some new or old habit isn't paying off, whether it be a person or a business endeavor, or what to do with free time, chuck it and pick something else. The possibilities are endless.

That includes at this point the whys, why nots, and etc., of the past. At some point it becomes acceptance and live and let live.

[Gunny376]

Interesting Gunny, and quite an investment. I hope it was well worth it.

 

A sense of normalcy. I'm learning that for me, the best thing is to follow a schedule, find a new pattern (healthy) to my day. You might find this worth thinking about, Minnie. New rituals and habits.

When some new or old habit isn't paying off, whether it be a person or a business endeavor, or what to do with free time, chuck it and pick something else. The possibilities are endless.

That includes at this point the whys, why nots, and etc., of the past. At some point it becomes acceptance and live and let live.

 

I really appreciate the support from all of you. I really do!

 

Since having gotten fired? I've been setting around and thinking about where I've been, and where I'm at and where I want to be?

 

I got a letter today from my former employer telling me that if I want to keep my health insurance with them (which I never had to begin with) that my premiums would cost me $363 single and $947 a month if I was married and/or had dependents?

 

Forget that! My medical premiums via TriCare (the military retiree provider) is only $19.17 a month with a $12 per doctor visit. My meds only cost me $3 a month each. (One of the goes for $137 alone)

 

Not to brag ~ but I screwed up and did something right! I did my 'twenty' in tha' Corps?

 

Car is paid for with only 28K miles on her.

 

I've got everything I need ~ not necessarily everything I want (aka a 53" Plasma TV vs a 19" Sanyo)

 

But I count my 'blessings' and not my troubles?

 

All in all I'm worse off than some ~ but better off than most!

 

Daily I count my blessings! I sit around and repeatedly "Thank God" for this and that!

 

I thank God that I did my '20' in the Corps! I eat bennies and wienies and Rama soup? I'm good to go!

 

Hell if I had to? The Corps has taught me how to live out in the woods and off of the land.

 

Tomorrow? I'm going to catch the bus to Mexico ~ so to speak ~ and start living my life for me!

 

I'm going to quit working to live ~ but work to live!