lando Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Why do girls do this?! I've read/heard about it happening but this has never happened to me. I started seeing a girl and we got off to a great start! I've known her for a while, even back when she was dating this guy. I remember talking to her about him briefly in the past. He sounded like such a schmuck to me. They had been a "couple" for quite a while, but had also broken up and gotten back together a few times. Well, she finally broke up with him last fall and was very happy to do so.. didn't look back. Her and I were really hitting it off! The one thing i'll say is that it moved fast, and we slept together, but everything was mutual. Shortly after that she does a complete 180 and things basically disintegrated. Well I found out today that she's gotten back together with her ex. My gut was telling me that this was the case, but i'm still left wondering.. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Omar Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 you sound like a rebound to me you said her and her ex dated for quite awhile....define "quite awhile"....in my experience when a girl is with a guy for 1 year +, such a lengthy relationship means they've overcome challenges and get along better than most people they've met or dated they had problems, you were a rebound, she wasn't over her long term boyfriend...plain and simple Link to post Share on other sites
Author lando Posted August 18, 2010 Author Share Posted August 18, 2010 I don't know how long they were together in the past, but I do know that multiple times she was not happy in that relationship and finally ended it last fall. Her and I talked about it, I remember that. She was 100% not happy with him and subsequently 100% happy with dumping his ass. She also had dated a different guy for a while before I came into the picture, and I came along a little while after they broke up, so it's not like I was an instant rebound or anything. She's taking a step back, and im pretty sure that sooner or later (more likely sooner) she'll come to realize again exactly why she left him in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Omar Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I don't know how long they were together in the past, but I do know that multiple times she was not happy in that relationship and finally ended it last fall. Her and I talked about it, I remember that. She was 100% not happy with him and subsequently 100% happy with dumping his ass. She also had dated a different guy for a while before I came into the picture, and I came along a little while after they broke up, so it's not like I was an instant rebound or anything. She's taking a step back, and im pretty sure that sooner or later (more likely sooner) she'll come to realize again exactly why she left him in the first place. yea but women are, in general, indecisive, dont mean what they say and full of *****...lol....even though she said she was over him and their relationship was terrible...shes still back with him....she probably craves the drama of their fighting or enjoys the challenge of trying to make it work...theres something that keeps drawing her to him and clearly it isnt over regardless i wouldnt wait around for her hoping she stops running back to her ex Link to post Share on other sites
Author lando Posted August 18, 2010 Author Share Posted August 18, 2010 I have no intention of waiting around for her, none at all. Not anymore, she destroyed any chance at that. But I can tell you already how this is going to play out. Link to post Share on other sites
Omar Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I have no intention of waiting around for her, none at all. Not anymore, she destroyed any chance at that. But I can tell you already how this is going to play out. yea she'll probably dump him soon enough...maybe date another guy for a bit....probably go back to her ex again....cycle will continue until either her or her ex find someone they click with better then their rebounds and yea man you're too good for her...move on Link to post Share on other sites
Don Ho Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Her and I were really hitting it off! The one thing i'll say is that it moved fast, and we slept together, but everything was mutual. Shortly after that she does a complete 180 and things basically disintegrated. Why? I think you answered your own question: because it moved too fast too soon. And don't blame that on her or say it was mutual. It was YOUR job as an Alpha Male to keep the pace slowww! Of course it disintegrated, you were no longer a challenge and therefore her attraction to you dropped. I can lay money down that you were too nice, too easy and had the belief that you could win her over being the nice guy especially when her Ex was such a badboy. Wrong! She may have had strong ties with her Ex and it might have turned out that way anyway, but I can bet the way you acted (like a too available pussy) didn't help matters. Go read some Doc Love on askmen.com and you'll see what I'm talking about. Now, learn from this bro and move on. Now that she went back to her Ex (aside from the fact that now you don't want her) she won't be coming back to you. So go read some Doc Love and David DeAngelo, improve yourself and make sure you pace yourself next time so it doesn't happen again. Good luck bro. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Why do girls do this?! I've read/heard about it happening but this has never happened to me. I? Dont concern yourself with why. Just realize there is someone better out there for you. go find her Link to post Share on other sites
Don Ho Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Dont concern yourself with why. Just realize there is someone better out there for you. go find her Damnit! Why don't I just keep it simple instead of trying to help so much?! LOL. Move on bro, find another. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Damnit! Why don't I just keep it simple instead of trying to help so much?! LOL. Move on bro, find another. I think your answers are very pertinent and well to the point Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Why do girls do this?! I've read/heard about it happening but this has never happened to me. I started seeing a girl and we got off to a great start! I've known her for a while, even back when she was dating this guy. I remember talking to her about him briefly in the past. He sounded like such a schmuck to me. They had been a "couple" for quite a while, but had also broken up and gotten back together a few times. Well, she finally broke up with him last fall and was very happy to do so.. didn't look back. Her and I were really hitting it off! The one thing i'll say is that it moved fast, and we slept together, but everything was mutual. Shortly after that she does a complete 180 and things basically disintegrated. Well I found out today that she's gotten back together with her ex. My gut was telling me that this was the case, but i'm still left wondering.. Why? This or something very similar has happened to me twice in the last three years. Both with the same back story you experienced and with other people in the 'gap'. One went back and married him, the other just wouldn't stop arguing with her ex and then discussing with him our relationship and how it would be easier if she loved me, followed by a discussion about them moving away together. She was pregnant with my child at the time. As a previous poster has already said, moving too fast. All my own fault, blinded by cuteness, idiot! Its left me with an incredible cynicism, I just don't want to know anymore. Blowing women off these days, hiding away from them, can't be bothered. It seems to me that no matter how you behave you cannot predict how your SO, (perhaps IsO, Insignificant Other, in my recent cases) is going to act. It sucks like a black hole. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Women go back to their exes if they're not over them and not really into you. A woman who's really into you won't leave you for any reason, even if her ex crawls back on his hands and knees - if she left you then she didn't really care about you, however it might have seemed. If she hadn't left you for her ex, she would only have left you for someone else, because she obviously didn't really want to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Don Ho Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 As a previous poster has already said, moving too fast. All my own fault, blinded by cuteness, idiot! Yep, moving too fast. YOU have to be the one to keep it slow and hold the reins in, no matter how attracted you are to them or how fast they want it to go. Too much too soon = no challenge = loss of interest on her part = you getting dumped. Bro, I'm 45 I have learned this the F'in hard way and I still make mistakes trying to go slow. Its left me with an incredible cynicism, I just don't want to know anymore. Blowing women off these days, hiding away from them, can't be bothered. Perfect bro. That is the attitude you need when dating women. Seriously. When you don't care, don't call em back, blow them off, that attracts them! Go try it and see. Link to post Share on other sites
lalalandman Posted August 19, 2010 Share Posted August 19, 2010 some girls - their hearts are already taken man. no matter how much she bashes the guy (I'm sure he was cool as ****, sorry) he's the guy for her. He has her heart. And you, should be stoked you got to bang her. Link to post Share on other sites
Don Ho Posted August 19, 2010 Share Posted August 19, 2010 some girls - their hearts are already taken man. no matter how much she bashes the guy (I'm sure he was cool as ****, sorry) he's the guy for her. He has her heart. Yep and I bet he has her heart because he didn't chase her and he didn't act like a pussy. He was doing something right, wasn't he? Link to post Share on other sites
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