Woman are really looking for....?

[WantHeightGene]

Sick of all this ****

 

Any Agony Aunt, self-help forum, women's magazine (even men's), or friend seems to claim the same old crap:

 

"All women really want is a nice guy with a good sense of humour."

"At the end of the day, looks don't last for ever so personality is the key."

"Vertically challenged? Bald? It doesn't matter because real women in the real world want a kind, generous, reliable, loyal man with a caring, loving nature."

"Woman want sex as much as men."

 

THIS IS ALL BULLS**T!

 

In my experience it is simply nature - woman only give a F*** about the physical (looks, good genes) or material (money, status).

 

I have a great sense of humour. On a good day I have girls in stitches. I am friendly, reliable, intelligent, have a good future, ha... every attribute listed above. Yet rarely ever do I find it's actually attractive to the opposite sex in any way. I'm merely a gimick until a 'stud' arrives and the swooning begins.

 

There is a girl at work who hasn't had a relationship for over 9 years (i'm pretty close with her and we talk about things). She made a passing comment one day, which made a few people turn their head, in her words, "Well, you can never have enough cock". When questioned, she simply responded with "you heard me", or words to that affect. Anyway, recently I have fallen for this girl (nothing to do with that comment by the way!) but despite asking her out and her saying "I love you to bits", "I'm closer to you than anyone else at work" and "you're the only person I'm comfortable with in my personal space" - she will not go out with me as "I just don't want a relationship of any kind with anyone.".

 

I don't get it! I have nothing but love and devotion for this girl, I am besotted with her and am prepared to move mountains to make her happy - I have made these emotions clear. She seems happy around me and she understands but still says she can't help me 'cause she "doesn't want a relationship of any kind".

 

How can a girl make such comments about "cock", be out of a relationship for so long and think so much of me, yet is not willing to take a risk on even a meal out?

 

To me it just smells of BULLS**T. Why can't she just say, "Look you don't have the looks, so **** off.".

 

 

Anyone share similar experiences/thoughts?!

[Angel1111]

Read John Gray's book entitled, "Mars & Venus on a Date". If you don't get answers from that book, then you'll probably never understand.

[WantHeightGene]

Thanks for the tip. Book ordered

[TouchedByViolet]

Sick of all this ****

 

Any Agony Aunt, self-help forum, women's magazine (even men's), or friend seems to claim the same old crap:

 

"All women really want is a nice guy with a good sense of humour."

"At the end of the day, looks don't last for ever so personality is the key."

"Vertically challenged? Bald? It doesn't matter because real women in the real world want a kind, generous, reliable, loyal man with a caring, loving nature."

"Woman want sex as much as men."

 

THIS IS ALL BULLS**T!

 

In my experience it is simply nature - woman only give a F*** about the physical (looks, good genes) or material (money, status).

 

I have a great sense of humour. On a good day I have girls in stitches. I am friendly, reliable, intelligent, have a good future, ha... every attribute listed above. Yet rarely ever do I find it's actually attractive to the opposite sex in any way. I'm merely a gimick until a 'stud' arrives and the swooning begins.

 

There is a girl at work who hasn't had a relationship for over 9 years (i'm pretty close with her and we talk about things). She made a passing comment one day, which made a few people turn their head, in her words, "Well, you can never have enough cock". When questioned, she simply responded with "you heard me", or words to that affect. Anyway, recently I have fallen for this girl (nothing to do with that comment by the way!) but despite asking her out and her saying "I love you to bits", "I'm closer to you than anyone else at work" and "you're the only person I'm comfortable with in my personal space" - she will not go out with me as "I just don't want a relationship of any kind with anyone.".

 

I don't get it! I have nothing but love and devotion for this girl, I am besotted with her and am prepared to move mountains to make her happy - I have made these emotions clear. She seems happy around me and she understands but still says she can't help me 'cause she "doesn't want a relationship of any kind".

 

How can a girl make such comments about "cock", be out of a relationship for so long and think so much of me, yet is not willing to take a risk on even a meal out?

 

To me it just smells of BULLS**T. Why can't she just say, "Look you don't have the looks, so **** off.".

 

 

Anyone share similar experiences/thoughts?!

 

Rejection happens to all. Don't get mad at the entire female gender just because of a limited success with some. Anger towards women in general will only reduce your chances of finding a good one.

 

How tall are you? I'm 5'8" and 130 lb (in the best shape of my life). I got the slender genes and most women really dislike this. I understand your struggle. Not much you can do but be awesome in other areas and wait for someone who will appreciate you the way you are. Sure it sounds corny but it is the truth. This girl in your post just isn't into you, sucks yeah. Life sucks, sometimes more and sometimes less.

[skydiveaddict]

 

 

 

"All women really want is a nice guy with a good sense of humour."

"At the end of the day, looks don't last for ever so personality is the key."

"Vertically challenged? Bald? It doesn't matter because real women in the real world want a kind, generous, reliable, loyal man with a caring, loving nature."

"Woman want sex as much as men."

 

THIS IS ALL BULLS**T!

 

the physical (looks, good genes) or material (mIn my experience it is simply nature - woman only give a F*** about oney, status).

 

Anyone share similar experiences/thoughts?!

 

 

Good post man. you're right on the money. I have noticed these things also

[lilbunny]

Maybe this girl genuinely doesn't want a relationship and it is clear that you do. Taking things further with you if she knows she doesn't want anything more than sex would be even more hurtful in the long run. She has been pretty clear about her feelings and since she hasn't had a relationship in 9 years you have no reason to take this at anything other than face value, it points to her being truthful.

 

Honestly as a woman I don't think looks are the issue here. You sound like a nice guy, willing to 'move mountains' as you said. I hope I don't sound harsh...but, while it is a great quality, is it possible you come across as over eager, even a bit of a doormat? Devotion before you've even been on a date might make you seem pretty intense or even desperate. Few women find that an attractive quality. If aloof really isn't you then at least go for laid back. Don't try so hard.

 

If it is any consolation (and I'm not arrogant or anything) I'm a decent looking woman, late twenties, tall, slim, blonde, well-presented. I'm no super model, but I'm no moose either. The bloke I love is nearly twenty years older, shorter than me if I wear heels, carrying a few extra pounds, wears glasses, has no sense of fashion, the very evident effects of being a long term smoker on his teeth and grey bits at the sides. I love him because he is clever, warm, respectful, funny, shares my passions, all of those qualities you were talking about. He has beautiful blue eyes, and a wicked smile and while he might not be your stereotypical 'stud' he is gorgeous to me. Oh and we earn about the same before that comes up as my hidden motive!

 

I hope you find the right woman. We are not all just after 'cock' or shallow harpies you know!

[stillafool]

It sounds like this girl is quite the "playa" type. Maybe she knows starting anything romantic with you will just end up hurting you. She has already expressed what she likes and wants (cock). You are lucky she doesn't lead you on or you might get crushed.

 

 

It's interesting how men can fall for the "bad girl" type also.

[Angel1111]

It sounds like this girl is quite the "playa" type. Maybe she knows starting anything romantic with you will just end up hurting you. She has already expressed what she likes and wants (cock). You are lucky she doesn't lead you on or you might get crushed.

 

 

It's interesting how men can fall for the "bad girl" type also.

 

I agree. Where's the attraction to a girl who would make a statement like that? It pretty much says it all about who she is. Good God.

[WantHeightGene]

Thanks to all who have commented and replied

 

I'm 5ft 4 by the way. This girl is the same height.

 

The "cock" comment, I feel compelled to clear up. Yes, she said it, but it was very, very unlike her. Hence why I remember it, and why everyone else in the room turned their heads. It just struck me that this quiet, homely, delightful and sometimes charmingly prudeish girl made a comment like that, as though for a brief moment, her true desires came out.

 

I emphasize this comment had no bearing on me asking her out, it just made me wonder "oh so sex does actually enter her mind?!". Again, in my opinion she is quite a prudish girl who gets embarrassed easily if people are talking about anything remotely sexual in the office.

 

lilbunny, I fear that you are probably right. I am just not the type of person to play games, look for hints or cues. If I like someone, I usually do nothing about it. If I have totally fallen for them, then I have to confront them. I suppose there is a part of me which thinks, "if I play it too cool, they may shrug me off, just thinking it's a passing interest." I just have to be honest with them and myself - if I really like them, I have to make it clear.

 

However I will take your advice onboard for next time

[Enchanted Girl]

My boyfriend is about the same height as me (and I am the same height as you are) and works a minimum wage job. XD Either all women aren't this way or I'm an alien.

 

Because the reason I like him is because he's so sweet to me. <3 We were friends first as well.

 

It sounds like this girl is quite the "playa" type. Maybe she knows starting anything romantic with you will just end up hurting you. She has already expressed what she likes and wants (cock). You are lucky she doesn't lead you on or you might get crushed.

 

 

It's interesting how men can fall for the "bad girl" type also.

 

I agree with this. Some of the guys on here, come on and say,"Girls are all shallow and only like bad boys" when sometimes it's the exact opposite. They're chasing after girls for shallow reasons or are only chasing after girls that are players.

 

I watch my boyfriend's friends chase after girls and I'm always face palming basically. They keep insisting that all women are shallow jerks, but they also tend to ignore nice girls who are their friends and go for girls who I can readily tell just like to play games.

 

If you don't want a girl who is shallow and plays games, then start opening your eyes and noticing the girls who don't. There's lots of them out there, but they generally get ignored because guys don't know how to tell the difference.

 

Girls do this with guys, too. It's their hormones blocking their logic. I read an article that I thought was very helpful. If you have a friend of the opposite gender who you genuinely know isn't attracted to you, you can ask them if the person you like seems like a player or someone who is too shallow to date you. Because they can't be attracted to the person, they'll usually be able to see through their tricks and tell you immediately if you have any chance of having a serious relationship or not.

 

Although don't give up on being a nice guy just because girls reject you. Everyone is welcome to reject anyone they want. Just because you're a nice guy doesn't mean you're entitled to have any girl that you want. I was rejected a whole lot until I found my boyfriend and that's just the way the world works for the majority of people.

[skydiveaddict]

Just remember my friend girls NEVER want a nice guy, EVER. Even if they think they do. Even if they think they've found one. Girls will always seek out a strong , protective man, it's just the way it is. It's not even their fault. It's human nature. You are right on target in saying that it's all bull****. Cause it is. Keep your chin up and things will work out for you.

[jenifer1972]

I think that the word "nice" needs more definition. In reality, both sexes aren't that sexually attracted to people who tend to be too accomodating and self deprecating, and I think that is what "nice" is. And I also need to say that being a strong protective man does not make a guy a "bad boy".

 

People of either sex who have sex appeal are those who kind of have the attitude, "this is who I am..take it or leave it" and who exude self confidence and an aura that they like themselves, and therefore you likely will too.

 

I also believe there is a "lid for every pot". Most people out there are not good enough looking to write home about, but most people end up paired off with someone. Some of the happiest couples I know are pretty dorky looking. And many beautiful people have horrible relationships-reference most Hollywood relationships. From what you say, it sounds to me like she sees you as a friend/confidante, but not romantic material. Sorry...

[skydiveaddict]

I think that the word "nice" needs more definition. In reality, both sexes aren't that sexually attracted to people who tend to be too accomodating and self deprecating, and I think that is what "nice" is. And I also need to say that being a strong protective man does not make a guy a "bad boy".

 

People of either sex who have sex appeal are those who kind of have the attitude, "this is who I am..take it or leave it" and who exude self confidence and an aura that they like themselves, and therefore you likely will too.

 

I also believe there is a "lid for every pot". Most people out there are not good enough looking to write home about, but most people end up paired off with someone. Some of the happiest couples I know are pretty dorky looking. And many beautiful people have horrible relationships-reference most Hollywood relationships. From what you say, it sounds to me like she sees you as a friend/confidante, but not romantic material. Sorry...

 

 

No more definition is necessary. Girls do not, and never will go for nice guys. You know what a "nice guy" is ,c'mon. And your notion that there is "a lid for every pot," while desirable, is simply not true. There are just way too many lonely people walking around out there for it to be so.

[Lipsy10]

No more definition is necessary. Girls do not, and never will go for nice guys. You know what a "nice guy" is ,c'mon. And your notion that there is "a lid for every pot," while desirable, is simply not true. There are just way too many lonely people walking around out there for it to be so.

 

I agree with jenifer1972. There is a huge difference between a bad boy and an a**hole, a nice guy and a doormat. Its about finding something in the middle.

 

Sorry poster but it sounds like you've been regulated to the Friends Zone. Maybe she's known you too well for too long and just can't imagine being with her good mate "john". Don't take it personally it happens to everyone at some point.

Edited August 20, 2010 by Lipsy10

[You Go Girl]

You were probably her friend for way too long before showing deeper interest in her. By that time, she's already past any stirrings. You have to act quicker when there's potential.

[Cee]

Your friend hasn't been in a relationship for 9 years. That's a really long time. Something is going on there. I imagine that you are thinking that since she hasn't had a relationship in a long time, then she's ready. I think there's a red flag there...like she's insanely picky. Or not interested in relationships. Enjoy her friendship, but look elsewhere.

 

There is no point in getting stuck on someone who won't fall for you. It wastes precious energy and embitters you toward women who potentially will like you.

[stillafool]

My boyfriend is about the same height as me (and I am the same height as you are) and works a minimum wage job. XD Either all women aren't this way or I'm an alien.

 

Because the reason I like him is because he's so sweet to me. <3 We were friends first as well.

 

 

 

I agree with this. Some of the guys on here, come on and say,"Girls are all shallow and only like bad boys" when sometimes it's the exact opposite. They're chasing after girls for shallow reasons or are only chasing after girls that are players.

 

I watch my boyfriend's friends chase after girls and I'm always face palming basically. They keep insisting that all women are shallow jerks, but they also tend to ignore nice girls who are their friends and go for girls who I can readily tell just like to play games.

 

If you don't want a girl who is shallow and plays games, then start opening your eyes and noticing the girls who don't. There's lots of them out there, but they generally get ignored because guys don't know how to tell the difference.

 

Girls do this with guys, too. It's their hormones blocking their logic. I read an article that I thought was very helpful. If you have a friend of the opposite gender who you genuinely know isn't attracted to you, you can ask them if the person you like seems like a player or someone who is too shallow to date you. Because they can't be attracted to the person, they'll usually be able to see through their tricks and tell you immediately if you have any chance of having a serious relationship or not.

 

Although don't give up on being a nice guy just because girls reject you. Everyone is welcome to reject anyone they want. Just because you're a nice guy doesn't mean you're entitled to have any girl that you want. I was rejected a whole lot until I found my boyfriend and that's just the way the world works for the majority of people.

 

I agree. Men have and always will pick the "hot girl" if they can get her. It works both ways for men and women.

[jenifer1972]

No more definition is necessary. Girls do not, and never will go for nice guys. You know what a "nice guy" is ,c'mon. And your notion that there is "a lid for every pot," while desirable, is simply not true. There are just way too many lonely people walking around out there for it to be so.

 

 

Well, most people end up having relationships, be they good or mediocre. I think part of it is, some people (of both sexes) won't ACCEPT the" lids that fit their pot", and insist on looking at all the pretty lids that are realistically out of their league...and rant on about how the lids just won't co-operate...

[stargirlxo]

I think this was written about you.

 

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

[skydiveaddict]

Well, most people end up having relationships, be they good or mediocre. I think part of it is, some people (of both sexes) won't ACCEPT the" lids that fit their pot", and insist on looking at all the pretty lids that are realistically out of their league...and rant on about how the lids just won't co-operate...

 

 

In other words they won't settle for someone they dont really love. I completely agree with you

[SlevinKalebra]

I think that the word "nice" needs more definition. In reality, both sexes aren't that sexually attracted to people who tend to be too accomodating and self deprecating, and I think that is what "nice" is. And I also need to say that being a strong protective man does not make a guy a "bad boy".

 

People of either sex who have sex appeal are those who kind of have the attitude, "this is who I am..take it or leave it" and who exude self confidence and an aura that they like themselves, and therefore you likely will too.

 

From what you say, it sounds to me like she sees you as a friend/confidante, but not romantic material. Sorry...

 

If a guy comes off as I'll do anything for you "move mountains" etc... it's not just about not being strong it's coming off as I don't have enough in my life so I'll do anything for you. Imagine a girl that followed you around, pulled out your chair, blew on your soup, wiped your face if you had something on it. This is the persona that comes off.

Would you tell your buddy, while watching the game "hey man I'd do anything for you. I'd move mountains for you." (without a couple of six packs of course. Friendly drunk buddies are always fun though:D ). No, of course not but they know odds are if they asked you to help them move, you'd probably be there for them. Difference of a doormat and a nice guy.

Just because it's a female guys want to go the extra ten thousand miles. --------------------- Stop.----------------------------

Women always say they want to be treated as equals and it's true. Guys that have the split personality between the genders do not come off as genuine. Because they are not and women are turned off by that. I'm not saying you should go up to a woman and fart on her because that's how you joke around with friends. But other than the obvious there should be absolutely no difference who you are. I want to go on and on because I don't think enough guys get this. Then they get mad at women. Please ladies back me up a little