He wont post pictures of me on Facebook. What does that mean?

[Jasmine777]

Hi everyone! My boyfriend of many years does not have one picture of me on facebook, my space and so forth.... I just looked it up today and saw that he does say that he is in a relationship but doesn't have any pictures of me on it. He has his ex girlfriends on there and to this day they still contact him and according to him he does not contact them back.....What do you make of this!?

[Cracker Jack]

Everyone doesn't show off their girlfriend for the world to see. That, or he's simply hiding you away from everyone. Have no idea, tho. His ex's somehow being on there ahead of you seems...odd

 

This is when communication needs to come into play.

 

Or you could just not care too much about it, since it's Facebook.

[a_woman]

who cares? It's only facebook.

[BobSacamento]

Personally I like privacy. I probably wouldn't even put that I was in a relationship on there. If only my true friends were connected with me on FB that would be a different story but I also have co-workers on there.

[robdrm32]

It depends, if he is going on every day or very often then it raises an issue in my book.

 

Why would his ex's picture be on there, yet he's been with you for years? facebook/myspace aren't that old.

 

sounds sketchy

[EYECANDY000]

I agree that its only facebook....... to a certain extent....

 

with that said if there is pictures if ex's on there and not one picture of you, I would sort of question it

[GooseChaser]

Simple. Post a photo of you two on your page and tag him. Then he will have a photo of both of you on his page.

[Allisha]

It can mean a few things. Sorry if any sound a little harsh.

 

1) He's embarrassed by you.

2) He's a cheater.

3) He doesn't care about Facebook and so doesn't update it much?

4) He wants to keep that "part" of his life away from you; you don't have to be included in every part of his life. It is a little weird he hasn't removed his ex's pictures though, I'll give you that.

5) You need to sort your priorities out and focus your attention on more important things than a pile of crap like Facebook.

Edited August 18, 2010 by Allisha

[zengirl]

Hi everyone! My boyfriend of many years does not have one picture of me on facebook, my space and so forth.... I just looked it up today and saw that he does say that he is in a relationship but doesn't have any pictures of me on it. He has his ex girlfriends on there and to this day they still contact him and according to him he does not contact them back.....What do you make of this!?

 

He won't or he doesn't. If you put up a picture and tagged him in it, would he remove it? That would be odd to me. If he simply hadn't put any up. . . man, it's just FB. Who cares?

[jenifer1972]

I have a different take. Sometimes it is the little things that tell you the MOST. I personally think it is odd that he goes to the trouble of putting exes on there, but couldn't take the time to put you on there. Nor would I believe that he is not talking to them. You see, I have been through some things with my husband, who kept a secret My Space of exes that i found by accident, that he did not tell me about. You can say all you want about how it is crap and to get a life, but these kind of behaviors speak volumes..

[Ms_Sweetness]

I agree with you, if I had a boyfriend who was an avid user of Facebook and didn't have at least one pic of us up I'd raise my eyebrow a bit. Does his status say in a relationship? If so, does it say in a relationship AND have a link to you? Sure, it's only facebook but facebook is huge these days and posting a pic of you two says "this is who I'm with, I'm definitely taken and not looking". If he doesn't use it much, then I wouldn't be too concerned.

[craw]

Personally I like privacy. I probably wouldn't even put that I was in a relationship on there. If only my true friends were connected with me on FB that would be a different story but I also have co-workers on there.

 

exactly! i like my privacy - when he was on facebook, all i asked is he changed to status to "no longer listed as single"

[2sunny]

you may be his option...

[D-Lish]

It says to everyone that is willing to check out his facebook that he's available.

 

If you've been together for a long time, and he's not acknowledging your relationship- or validating it with pics- he is still looking.

[xpaperxcutx]

I'd look at the gender ratio of his friends, check his official status on his info page, and see how many times he update his profile. If he really is a avid FB user half the time he'll make an effort to really spice up his profile.

 

I know when I was a Myspace addict, I'd update my photos consistently with my exes and pictures of my friends.

 

Does he post pictures of himself alot with friends?

 

If he's doing all these things but doesn't have you listed anywhere with regards to his relationship status ( mainly if his profile emanates a possibility of him being single) he could be still playin the field.

[Allisha]

Hi everyone! My boyfriend of many years does not have one picture of me on facebook, my space and so forth.... I just looked it up today and saw that he does say that he is in a relationship but doesn't have any pictures of me on it. He has his ex girlfriends on there and to this day they still contact him and according to him he does not contact them back.....What do you make of this!?

 

It says to everyone that is willing to check out his facebook that he's available.

 

If you've been together for a long time, and he's not acknowledging your relationship- or validating it with pics- he is still looking.

 

...She clearly states that he does infact say he is IN relationship. So, I'm not really quite sure how that says he's available to anyone and everyone who wants to "check out his facebook"?

[snowbell]

Er, do you know if he even has pictures of you to post? Only a few of the many people I hang out with ever take pictures, and even when they do they don't always post them on Facebook.

 

Facebook is not the end-all, be-all of social life...

[phineas]

...She clearly states that he does infact say he is IN relationship. So, I'm not really quite sure how that says he's available to anyone and everyone who wants to "check out his facebook"?

 

Yes, but facebook allows you to specify another facebook user in your relationship status.

 

She clearly is another user.

 

I personally just leave that stuff blank.

[Gallaxia]

I think we over-inflate the power of FB. But OP, since you would like to know where you stand, add a pic of you two together and tag him. And then go from there...

[asimplelife]

Wow, Iam actually going through the same thing RIGHT NOW! Mine is a little deeper.

 

He is actually my fiance. We have only been engaged for 2 months. When we started dating I did ask him to change his status to IN A RELATIONSHIP which he did and I did also. You know that little red heart that pops up on your page after you do that? Well he deleted that but if you went into his INFO it showed he was in a relationship. The red heart just stands out immediately...people will notice that FIRST without having to go to the INFO tab. Anyway, I didn't say anthing, that wasn't a biggie. I'm telling you this because I'm leading up the steps to the other red flags.

 

He didn't have a picture of me up and that was no biggie at the time. We were just dating. I didn't have any pictures up of him as well. Then we became engaged. We took pictures of us together at random locations and the reason for that is because we were developing our honeymoon website. I ended up taking a single shot of him and he took 2 singles of me. He is a VERY ACTIVE user of facebook. Anyway one day he posted that one single pic of him. Ok, whatever, no big deal. Yeah, it would be NICE if he posted a picture of both of us, just to validate he is with someone, but ok, maybe he is trying to keep his personal life personal...however he DID have his other two exs (one girlfriend and the other an ex fiance) up at one time. It was actually his PROFILE PIC. Although we were now engaged he never changed his staus from in a relationship to engaged. Ok, no biggie, maybe he overlooked it. But what came to mind is the IN A RELATIONSHIP with not pics of WHO he is in a relationship with is very generic. Yes, I know I was in a relationship with him and our close friends did too...but also, could he be in a relationship with someone else too and she is thinking she is the only one with him?? Well, no biggie, it was just a thought, but what floored me was one day I posted something on his facebook wall. I started of with Baby and then mentioned I was praying for healing for his back, put down a scripture and ended it with I love you. Guess what happened? HE DELETED IT! WOW! Not only that, a few days BEFORE I made a cojple of comments on his post, and he ignored me, didn't adress me (they were pretty generic posts where I could have been anyone really). Also he typed about an incident that happened to him, and I was there along with his family, but he mentioned his family, but not me. Was I suspicious? You are darn tootin I was. I txt him twice, once one day and then the next and asked why he deleted my wall post. He said he did it by ACCIDENT! Ok, well maybe if he didn't ignore me on the previous posts I may accept that (I would just post something else up later to see if he ACCIDENTLY deleted it then at that time) but with both scenerios happening...no way! Anyway he got defensive, gave me reasons why he shouldn't have to put up my pics and blah blah blah. Ok fine. Either I put up with that, or I leave. What did I do? I left. It may sound petty, but its not. He was hiding me from someone or other females. Yes we are engaged, but doesn't that mean he's faithful. Come on, people that are married cheat! Well NOW while we are seperated he has me blasted all over his wall, changed his status to engaged and actually didn't delete the little heart on his page and even typed up an intro of who I was, what I mean to him and that we are getting married. We haven't talked about reconciling, actually I haven't spoken to him so he actually went ahead of me.

 

What you may want to consider doing as a test is posting something on his wall and make it known by what you say that you two are an item. Also, yeah, why not tag him and post a photo of you two on his wall. Make sure you don't go overboard with it because if so, he may get angry and delete it. Then you won't know if he deleted it because he was mad or if he was hiding you. Also I think he can even write your name of who he is in a relationship with. Now that is more specific and there wouldn't be no question to anyone who he is in a relationship with. Good luck to you. And yes, for him to still have his exs up is ridiculous. You are current, they are his past. They need to be removed and he should be showing you off. If he won't do that or make excuses on why he SHOULDN'T have to do that..be concerned...VERY CONCERNED!

[snowbell]

It's Facebook, people. Seriously. It's a website.

 

I don't like people cluttering my wall up with stuff that should be sent via private message, and I'll untag pictures of myself that are unflattering. EVERYONE does this. Stop freaking out.

 

And no, I'm not some crotchety old fart. I'm about to turn 25 so I'm in the age demographic that uses Facebook most. But I realize the real world and face-to-face interactions are more important than Farmville, Mafia Wars, or who found out a secret from whom because they spent 2 hours filling out surveys.

 

I use Facebook to share interesting music and funny YouTube videos, and I'll even use my social network for professional networking, so I don't want loads of trivial stuff clogging my wall if it could easily be sent in a message. The "issue" might just be that your significant others have a stance on FB similar to mine. It doesn't necessarily mean they hate your guts and want to break up.

 

I'm not the only one who feels this way. Presenting:

[jenifer1972]

Snowbell, you obviously don't have issues with Facebook and use it casually, as frankly it should be used, but that doesn't mean that other people behave the same way.

 

There are many affairs that have started on Facebook and Myspace. Men who "forget" to friend their GFs or fiances or "delete" their posts by "mistake" yet have exes plastered up there who send suggestive comments, are sending loud and clear subconscious messages about their priorities and it clearly is not with their girlfriends/fiances. My husband had a secret MS when we were dating where he had FOUR exes, one of whom posted a picture of a woman's butt, with a stiletto heel pulling off her panties, and sent him the message "Happy Hump Day"....Needless to say, I didn't think this was as casual or funny as he did...

[Jasmine777]

See it's the little things that speak louder then words....I guess I didn't go as deep as I should have in my post. The other day he told me that his exs still contact him on these sites which seems soooooo strange considering he has a serious of gf of two years now. That sparked something in me and made me think I should look on his fb and myspace considering I don't even have a profile and do not want one. He claims he hasn't talked to them in years.... I just thought it was strange that he had not one pic of me on there which gives those girls a message that maybe his relationship isnt serious....??

[2sunny]

See it's the little things that speak louder then words....I guess I didn't go as deep as I should have in my post. The other day he told me that his exs still contact him on these sites which seems soooooo strange considering he has a serious of gf of two years now. That sparked something in me and made me think I should look on his fb and myspace considering I don't even have a profile and do not want one. He claims he hasn't talked to them in years.... I just thought it was strange that he had not one pic of me on there which gives those girls a message that maybe his relationship isnt serious....??

 

yep.

 

and also - since he doesn't post any part of you as being a part of his life - it seems he wants to "appear" to the rest of the world as if you didn't exist.

 

that would be enough for me to tell him see ya - permanently.

 

really - it's hurtful that he would appear to all that he isn't connected in any way to someone he's dated long term. it's misleading at best.

 

have you checked at all to see if he contacts these gals by private messages within the website? facebook allows people to im and send private messages...

[robdrm32]

Personally I hate facebook, but when i did use it and i was with my ex, we had the "In a relationship with xxx" up. I didnt go on it much every few days, and when i did i'd see talk about me on her page in very positive ways. (she was an avid FB user)

 

So the night that I caught her in a lie (before it all went down) I noticed she no longer had the "In a relationship with xxxx" up. So over the next few weeks i ask her multiple times to fix it, she says it isn't working, so we ended up splitting because it was obvious she was up to something, and wouldn't you guess a week later i see her "In a relationship with someone else"

 

Yeah she had been cheating.

 

Moral of the story is, Facebook itself may be stupid but someones actions over the site might reflect their intentions or attitudes towards other people.

 

I'd talk to him about it and not let him downplay it.