dazedandconfused Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 My ex and I broke up about six to eight months ago over reasons I don't even remember now. We dated on and off for 5 years and consecutivley for two. We were eachother's first everything. We were best friends--and all of a sudden, things came to a halt. He has a new girlfriend--but ever since the split (which was his decision to stay apart), he has been extremley bitter and has never even hinted that he even liked me. We were very much in love and it was evident to anyone around us. He talks behind my back whenever he gets the chance and has never said anything nice about me to anyone since we broke up. I'm SO hurt. It was his decision--not mine. Why is he doing this? I miss our friendship. Can you truly hate someone the second you are not a couple when it is their decision? He just wanted space.... Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Yes, and actually the hate shows he still cares, in a way. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I don't hate my ex, I feel sorry for him. Link to post Share on other sites
prettyconfused Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 There is a fine line between love and hate. <----You may hear this one alot but i've found its true. Maybe he still loves you and resents the fact that your not together any more even though its his decison. Lads are weird too when it comes to relationships. Im one and im not even going to pretend I understand. Failing relationships are confusing at the best of times!! Link to post Share on other sites
dazedandconfused Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 wow he just called me and bitched me out after no talking for four months over nothing relevant at all........ i didnt do anything--- WOW! why did he call MY HOUSE to yell at me for NOTHING and be all upset after not talking for four months?? weirdo... Link to post Share on other sites
dario Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 People do strange things. I'm so up and down that a yo yo should be named after me. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I still love my s/o even though our seperation is due to the affect my illness had on her. I understand her need for space but i cannot hate her, even though she lied to me to help me home. However anger comes into it more than anything & unanswered questions that are constantly in my head. I think to myself why this & why that & end up with my own answers that i know can't be the real ones. It's like she is in control of my emotions as i cannot believe somethings & because she needs a break, she doesn't want to talk about it. & even worse, she telephones a friend of hers & mine & poisons me to her, & i can't put my side of it to her. So angry & frustrated, but i still love her. Weird **** is love! Link to post Share on other sites
dazedandconfused Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 I guess I just dont understand---at one time he told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and before me NO ONE liked him as a person. He was very rude and cocky--and once he was with me, his personality changed for the better. He said to me he'll never forget me or anything i did for him, tahts what he said when we were still together, and that hed never be able tog et over me. he also said that we'd always be best friend and that he cannot thank me enough for what i had done for him---- what the hell happened? he "can't stand me". ouch--this hurts. whats his deal? Link to post Share on other sites
Tragedi67 Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 I can say that I hate my ex but I still care alot about him, we're divorcing and he left me cause he cheated with another woman. He's told all the friends we once had a bunch of bs so they would not talk to me and he tells this woman that our relationship was like a scar that needs to fade with time.......So I think we both resent each other but hate, I hate him for how he left me.........and now talks a bunch of crap to his friends and this girl who she says he is going to marry her.......well what she doesn't know is that he still must give a crap somehow cause he was over at my house and had sex with me.......so basically he cheated on me with her and now he's done it to her.......unless he was just being an a**hole. I'll never know.......but I sure as hell feel angry about his decision to leave me and how he did it....... Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 A very wise person on LS once told me....the opposite of love is not hate...it is indifference. Maybe you should strive towards no longer caring about the person who has so disappointed you. It's easier said than done......but once you have done it.....you will feel so proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 It sounds like you are more angry than you hate him. We sometimes get so confused as to what is really going wrong with us when we were badly hurt by someone whom we care for or we are in love with. Link to post Share on other sites
will_woman Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 My husband cheated on me and now in midst of divorce. Initialy, I really hate him to core....i hate him everyday....every single day my anger will be there. Now, occassionally, I still feel the hatred. But the thing I most desired for is his woman to cheat him and made him miserable. I wish he will feel the pain which I have gone through. I do hope that he will be inflicted with the wounds...(or even more wounds) than I have suffered. Let him have his own taste of medicine and he will know that he made the wrong choice. I know that's not healthy for me either. I should be focusing on the state of me not even bother by any of his stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 The ex and I have been broken up now for nearly a year. I spent most of that time hating him. Now? I just don't care anymore. I don't care if he lives or dies. However, if he does die, I'll be the first one to throw a party and dance on his grave. I'd actually like to take a moment to thank my ex: If you're reading this, thank you for doing me the biggest favour. Thank you for finally allowing me to see you for who you really are. I am no longer under your spell. When I remember you now, what I remember is all that time you spent making making me feel subhuman and less than dirt. I do not hate you. As a matter of fact, I pity you. I do not forgive you for cheating on me and then blaming that on me. I do not forgive you for telling me that I ruined your life and your good time with her. I do not forgive you for the unabashed joy and relief you felt when I miscarried. I do not forgive you for celebrating something that I lost. I do forgive you for being much much less than what I thought you were. I imagined you to be a man. I believed you to be kind and decent. Thank you for opening my eyes and allowing me to see the truth. I do not wish on you what you did to me. That would be too cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
ABC Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 I once read: If you are hurting, then feeling angry will ease the pain for the other person. Brains can't process hurt and hate at the same time. Sounds like he is trying to hate/feel angry toward you so that he won't feel pain. Maybe you could try it...just to see how it works. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 Regarding my ex, I would have to say 'no'. I didn't love her enough to hate her! ~Vivid Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 Or in my case, the indifference that my s/o said to me was righ & for my own good & therefore done our relationship good, so by changing & being more similar & having some hate, is good, because hate isn't the opposite of love & so changing for my good is beneficial for our reconciliation! Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 I'm glad we started to talk more about anger than hate. Hate is not good while anger is natural. Link to post Share on other sites
suspended Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 i hate my ex every living moment and the fact that i have to see him at university everyday makes it worse...i hate him so much that if i cud, i wud go up to him, punch him in the face and beat him to death...or until he begs me for mercy...it been a year but im afraid ill never let go of the rage....i think its pathological to b this angry.... Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 I wouldn't mind if you will beat me instead and I will beg for mercy. In fact I'm doing it right now for both of us him and myself. Please try to forgive and go on with your own life. It would not help you at all if you will beat him to death. You will be crying to death thereafter. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 When the thought of my last ex crosses my mind....I can't help but utter the word 'F*cktard' in my mind. Sometimes I even have BETTER names and compounded cuss words to describe him. It serves as my reminder as to what a POS he is. I am not indifferent YET......but it's a goal. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 Originally posted by Arabess When the thought of my last ex crosses my mind....I can't help but utter the word 'F*cktard' in my mind. F**ktard and f**ckers**t!!! Cool names! Mind if I borrow them? ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 ANYTIME!!! .....I wouldn't be able to deal with my emtions without a healthy dose of the F word ....... Link to post Share on other sites
purpleknif67 Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 "Thin Line between Love and Hate"--Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders covered the song, that is how I know it, originally a Motown song I think, listen to the lyrics... Link to post Share on other sites
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