what should i do?

[kim]

hi well for the past couple weeks I was hanging with a new guy that I met. On the first date we only held hands, and the second we kissed each other. He is really nice, although I wasn't very attracted to him at first. Anyway Sunday he asked me to hang out again with him. So we ended up renting a movie and watching it at his place. He seemed to be hanging on me a lot, and made me a little nervous. I am 20 and he is 24. I have never been in a serious realtionship, and he was in one for six years. He asked me for a kiss, and I said no not right now. He kept asking me why, and I blurted out that I just wanted to take it slow, and hang out as friends first, before we jump into anything. He seemed to get a little offended at first and moved away from me. Throughout the movie, we ended up snuggling on his couch. I was having a good time with him, and he seemed to be too. At the end of the night, I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He seemed a little disappointed. Well Monday and Tuesday he didn't call me, so I called him Wednesday and we talked for a little bit. He said he would call me back later but didn't. Today is Friday and I am wondering should I call him or leave him alone and see if he calls me? I still would like to hang out with him, I just want to take it slow. Any suggestions?

[Tony T]

Don't call him. He seems to want to take this thing a lot faster than you do. Men who go too fast in relationships often have a conquer-and-move-on mentality and strategy and you don't need that. Relationships that stand the test of time move slowly and are built on a solid foundation of friendship.

 

Right off the bat, you are learning that he has little regard or respect for your wishes and your desire to take things slow. Any decent person would respect and understand your position and accomodate that if he was really interested in taking things long term.

 

If this guy finally calls, I think it would be in your best interest to very discretely and with kindness and finese, let him know once again in very clear terms your position in this matter. Depending on his reaction, either see him again or forget him.

 

If he doesn't call you, forget him. There should be no room in your life for a guy who childishly has to get his way and has no regard for the wishes or feelings of others.

 

I also urge you in future relationships to very sweetly let the guys know your feelings about moving slowly. If they don't understand, just forget them. There are a lot of young guys who are just loaded with hormones and devoid of character.

[PSC]

I think you know what you should do, if you really wants to hang out with you, or even down the road be with you he will call. Don't call him, don't worry and don't wait for him, go out and have fun

[billy the kid]

wait and see if he calls you, you've got nothing to loose.

hi well for the past couple weeks I was hanging with a new guy that I met. On the first date we only held hands, and the second we kissed each other. He is really nice, although I wasn't very attracted to him at first. Anyway Sunday he asked me to hang out again with him. So we ended up renting a movie and watching it at his place. He seemed to be hanging on me a lot, and made me a little nervous. I am 20 and he is 24. I have never been in a serious realtionship, and he was in one for six years. He asked me for a kiss, and I said no not right now. He kept asking me why, and I blurted out that I just wanted to take it slow, and hang out as friends first, before we jump into anything. He seemed to get a little offended at first and moved away from me. Throughout the movie, we ended up snuggling on his couch. I was having a good time with him, and he seemed to be too. At the end of the night, I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He seemed a little disappointed. Well Monday and Tuesday he didn't call me, so I called him Wednesday and we talked for a little bit. He said he would call me back later but didn't. Today is Friday and I am wondering should I call him or leave him alone and see if he calls me? I still would like to hang out with him, I just want to take it slow. Any suggestions?