What should I say?

[collegeguy_24]

Let me explain the facebook situation.

 

After me and Jen kicked each other off the others friend lists, I did not look at her profile or her new BFs profile until this week. Now though the reason I checked his is because of his stalking of me.

 

I wanted to see if there was any new information that could answer as to why he is doing what he is doing. I found out that on his facebook, the only thing hidden is his relationship status, thats it. Everything else is open to the world. So that could mean something has happened, like them breaking up, or not.

 

I also noticed that Jen has not liked or commented on anything for a while on his page, whereas in the past she did a lot. That is also suspicious. I can't look at her profile, because its set so that the only people see are her likes, and thats it. But from what the guy is showing, its pretty clear something may be up.

 

I talked to someone today, and they said its possible she had lingering feelings for me, so he could be doing this to provoke me, to get a reaction which he can then use against me. Making me bad in her eyes, regardless if they are together or not.

 

Or it could be simple jealousy, either way, things may be coming together now.

 

Now I have a question, I am still friends with my exes mom, we get along great actually, and I was wondering should I enquire as to what is going on with Jen right now? Or can I tell her what Jen's BF is doing to me and ask for advice? she is more likely to listen to me and believe me and give sound advice on how to handle him then anyone else. Cause I don't think she likes him.

[Billie The Puppet]

Let me explain the facebook situation.

 

After me and Jen kicked each other off the others friend lists, I did not look at her profile or her new BFs profile until this week. Now though the reason I checked his is because of his stalking of me.

 

I wanted to see if there was any new information that could answer as to why he is doing what he is doing. I found out that on his facebook, the only thing hidden is his relationship status, thats it. Everything else is open to the world. So that could mean something has happened, like them breaking up, or not.

 

I also noticed that Jen has not liked or commented on anything for a while on his page, whereas in the past she did a lot. That is also suspicious. I can't look at her profile, because its set so that the only people see are her likes, and thats it. But from what the guy is showing, its pretty clear something may be up.

My ex's sister says they all miss me and her dad wanted to call me to touch base. I wish my ex would miss me lol. Thing is I am in contact with my ex's sister and I am NC with the ex go figure her family would miss me. BTW I hardly contact her family they contact me first.

I talked to someone today, and they said its possible she had lingering feelings for me, so he could be doing this to provoke me, to get a reaction which he can then use against me. Making me bad in her eyes, regardless if they are together or not.

 

Or it could be simple jealousy, either way, things may be coming together now.

 

Now I have a question, I am still friends with my exes mom, we get along great actually, and I was wondering should I enquire as to what is going on with Jen right now? Or can I tell her what Jen's BF is doing to me and ask for advice? she is more likely to listen to me and believe me and give sound advice on how to handle him then anyone else. Cause I don't think she likes him.

 

I consider myself friends with my ex's family more than she would consider herself friends with mine. I made some FB errors myself today I let it slip I still have feelings about my ex to my ex's sister she told me to move on (maybe a sign my ex has herself) I would say let it run a natural course if Jen wants you to know she will let you know herself don't pry for info from her mother. My ex's sister also said she and her fiancé split for a year and moved on from each other but found their way back to each other. So my brain naturally gave myself false hope. I think it's best to leave yourself out of prying for info.

Edited October 7, 2010 by Billie The Puppet

[Ajax]

Let me explain the facebook situation.

 

After me and Jen kicked each other off the others friend lists, I did not look at her profile or her new BFs profile until this week. Now though the reason I checked his is because of his stalking of me.

 

I wanted to see if there was any new information that could answer as to why he is doing what he is doing. I found out that on his facebook, the only thing hidden is his relationship status, thats it. Everything else is open to the world. So that could mean something has happened, like them breaking up, or not.

 

I also noticed that Jen has not liked or commented on anything for a while on his page, whereas in the past she did a lot. That is also suspicious. I can't look at her profile, because its set so that the only people see are her likes, and thats it. But from what the guy is showing, its pretty clear something may be up.

 

I talked to someone today, and they said its possible she had lingering feelings for me, so he could be doing this to provoke me, to get a reaction which he can then use against me. Making me bad in her eyes, regardless if they are together or not.

 

Or it could be simple jealousy, either way, things may be coming together now.

 

Now I have a question, I am still friends with my exes mom, we get along great actually, and I was wondering should I enquire as to what is going on with Jen right now? Or can I tell her what Jen's BF is doing to me and ask for advice? she is more likely to listen to me and believe me and give sound advice on how to handle him then anyone else. Cause I don't think she likes him.

 

I wouldn't tell your ex's mom that her new dude is giving you trouble. You need to take the high road and be the strong one. You don't need the "help" of anyone who could pass any info on to your ex. To them you're effing Superman. You're bullet proof and they got no kryptonite.

[collegeguy_24]

Alright, I won't tell her mom, but it is still irritating, I wish this guy would stop.

 

Today I feel like I've reached a new low, I miss my ex so bad. I don't know why I can't seem to move on. I've tried, I really did. I am thinking of just giving up on dating in general, and just accept that fact that I will always love her.

 

I can't seem to move on, even though I haven't seen her or heard from her in several weeks. My friends are trying to help, some say I should contact her and initiate a friendship, but I promised Jen, to her face, that won't break the promise of NC, that she will have to do so.

 

Its eating away at me, at the same time I feel like a creeper because its been so long now since she left me. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Ajax]

Alright, I won't tell her mom, but it is still irritating, I wish this guy would stop.

 

Today I feel like I've reached a new low, I miss my ex so bad. I don't know why I can't seem to move on. I've tried, I really did. I am thinking of just giving up on dating in general, and just accept that fact that I will always love her.

 

I can't seem to move on, even though I haven't seen her or heard from her in several weeks. My friends are trying to help, some say I should contact her and initiate a friendship, but I promised Jen, to her face, that won't break the promise of NC, that she will have to do so.

 

Its eating away at me, at the same time I feel like a creeper because its been so long now since she left me. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

 

I think we can all say we miss our exes, that's why we're here. I'm in a similar spot you are, I miss her but told her I wouldn't bother her and that when she was ready she could give me a call. After 5 weeks of NC, I doubt I'll ever hear from her again, and it hurts because all I ever did was try to make her happy.

 

You're not a creeper. Are you stalking her? Doesn't sound like it. Her new dude's definately a creeper. Do you think he'll back off when she leaves him? probably not. Be the bigger man. You seem like a stand up guy, so don't beat yourself up.

[collegeguy_24]

Thing is, I want to hear her voice again, and see her face, see that smile. I would give anything, and fact remains, in the next few days, I might be doing so.

 

Its homecoming week for campus, and I plan to go to all the events cause this is my last semester before graduation and I want to enjoy myself.

 

But theres also the possibility of me seeing her, now whether she is alone, with friends, or if they are still together, her new BF, I don't know.

 

I am not going to actively looking for her, thats kinda creepy, but if I do see her, it might hurt, or I just might take that chance and do something with it.

 

Part of me wants to try to win her back, but at the same time, she has to contact me. A female friend of mine says if she wants me again, she might be afraid to contact me because of possible rejection. Hearing stuff like that doesn't help cause it sends me so many different signals on what I should do, if I should anything at all.

[Billie The Puppet]

How long has it been?

 

Like Ajax I'm 5 weeks into NC ( 9 weeks since I have been split from her) I don't see us talking ever again either.

 

I sometimes feel like what your female friend thinks that maybe she is afraid too, but seeing as my ex previously initiated all contact when we were in LC, I feel if she really wants to talk she will. Basically I said if I am ready to come down to her level of being just friends I will contact her and if she wants to come up to my level she can contact me. So I don't think the fear will be there she knows how I feel.

[Don Ho]

Bro, what are you doing? You're going backwards. When you had three women lined up, you were on Cloud 9. Remember? Now you're checking her FB, analyzing and obsessing? Stop. Get off FB. You can go bar hopping on a budget. You buy yourself one big beer and nurse it. You don't buy women drinks because that's what the AFC does. Don't waste your money. Also, you're in college and I'm sure you can party hop with success like I did in college. Starbucks is also a great place to hang, especially if you have a laptop. Anyway, get back on track on meeting some women Bro.

[collegeguy_24]

Bro, what are you doing? You're going backwards. When you had three women lined up, you were on Cloud 9. Remember? Now you're checking her FB, analyzing and obsessing? Stop. Get off FB. You can go bar hopping on a budget. You buy yourself one big beer and nurse it. You don't buy women drinks because that's what the AFC does. Don't waste your money. Also, you're in college and I'm sure you can party hop with success like I did in college. Starbucks is also a great place to hang, especially if you have a laptop. Anyway, get back on track on meeting some women Bro.

 

Don, let me explain here. THe reason I am on his facebook, not my exes, is because the guy is stalking me, seriously, if he is doing that, then don't I deserve to check it out to see if he is posting anything that could be a threat to my own physical health? ALso he's now got his friends doing it, yesterday one of his friends walked up to me and kindly reminded me that my ex is now a cum bucket for her new BF.

 

Frankly, I don't know how true that is, and I don't think she will appreciate being called that, ever. But I can't tell her, cause she is likely to not believe me.

 

ALso I ran into some women yesterday who live in her dorm. I was on my way to International Coffee Trader, a great coffee place located behind my exes dorm building, and the best coconut lattes I have ever had. Well I heard them talking about the the slut of the dorm, curious, I ask what they are talking about.

 

They explain that my ex, is known as the slut of her dorm, because of the rumors they heard about her. Of course some of those women are probably worse, so its a bit contradictory. But they also say how much they hate her new BF, and how even her roommate, Meg, doesn't like the guy, they just don't say anything cause they don't want bad blood, they do have to live with her afterall.

 

All this just because I was on my way to coffee!

 

 

As for my dates, let me break it down to you:

 

7 dates in two weeks, I will admit I am a little proud of that number.

 

4 of them never contacted me again and want nothing to do with me.

 

3 want to be friends only because I am not their type.

 

1 of those 4 listed above was a married woman, I didn't find out till she showed up with her wedding ring on. Needless to say I ran.

 

And since then, I haven't begun to see more women, frankly, I am tired and am giving up hope. I think a possible break is in order.

 

Also I never buy women drinks, ever. I buy my friends drinks, but only because we take turns buying rounds for each other. But I know women want men to buy them drinks, and I won't play that game.

 

I hope that clarifies a bit, if something is unclear, let me know and I will explain.

[Don Ho]

Her BF sounds immature, insecure and like a real jacka$$. Why would they be going to you and making comments? No point getting in a fight and I don't see why he would want to start something with you. Now if you're a lot bigger than him and/or you know how to fight and he doesn't, that might be a different story. But he's probably the kind of pussy that will have his friend either back him up or do his dirty work for him. Probably smart to stay out of a confrontation. He has her, right? Why are you a threat? I think they want to get your goat Bro. Don't fall for it. Just smile and walk away.

 

As for the gals, maybe you're trying to hard. It sounds like your "asking them out". Maybe you should take it more casually; meet for coffee, do something at the college, meet up in a group. Find a gal that wants to hang with you instead of making it so formal if that's what you're doing. What exactly happened to those 7? Why do you think they would say they want nothing to do with you or to just be friends? Are you meeting up with gals that are interested in YOU or are you asking out gals that you think are hot that YOU want to go out with. In a college with thousands of women there have to be a few that will be interested in you.

[collegeguy_24]

For the girls, all we did was meet for coffee, nothing fancy, I just wasn't their type physicallly. For the crazy stalker, I just ignore him, but I am reaching my boiling point.

[Billie The Puppet]

She won't be her "one" now I can't promise you this but his acts are screaming immaturity and insecurity. Once she gets word from others other than yourself that she is just being used as an object it will shortly end afterwords. This reply is not for you to get your hopes up. However it should serve the purpose that you are better than him. More of a man than he is etc. Seriously he has got his own friends coming to you calling your ex a cum bucket/ slut. Doesn't seem like he is even valuing his own girlfriend as a human more like a sex toy.

[collegeguy_24]

Yeah but I can't tell her so I don't know how it will happen. Also, her mom is coming in today and said if she has time she would like to meet with me, which agreed to. She is a friend after all.

[Billie The Puppet]

That cool try not to bring up her daughter with her though or what's going on. I hung out with my ex's sister and my ex came up j think 3 times . First was because she bought tickets to the sane events as m brought up by me, second was my ex was jealous I appeared to be moving on brought up by her sister. Lastly when we made plans I mentioned maybe not to soon so it doesn't look like I'm hanging with her as a way to get back at the ex. This was in a course of 5 hours. Next time I don't plan to mention her at all.

 

My ex's family all like me and feel bad for me in this situation. Apparently her father wanted to call me last weekend to touch base. Which I thought was cool. However it hit me that they like me because I was a nice person to my ex but I am still replaceable.

[collegeguy_24]

I can do that, but if she brings jen up though, then I will be honesst by whatever she says. I will not lie especially since she hates lieing. But I will also just go with the flow, like I do in every conversation with friends.

[Billie The Puppet]

I can do that, but if she brings jen up though, then I will be honesst by whatever she says. I will not lie especially since she hates lieing. But I will also just go with the flow, like I do in every conversation with friends.

 

I understand this but just be cautious what you are saying obviously if she brings her up you can talk but just try to stay away from pleading a case with he rmother.

 

I do believe parents approval will impact things in the future.

 

I know I have all my ex's families approval and she has most of mine which sucks because I have a negatively influenced father who I think may have cause my ex to think of things.

 

There is absolutely no reason you can not be friends with her mother though they say you should cut all secondary relationships too. I don't think it is fair and I myself have not followed suit with that.

[collegeguy_24]

Thats assuming we meet. No word yet from her.

 

I have been thinking, and I am thinking of giving up dating for a while. I am still in love with Jen, and I have a hard enough time as it is with women. I am thinking of giving up dating and instead focus on school and my friends.

 

If a woman expresses interest, or if Jen wants me back, then it will happen. But I think I am done with pursuing women for a while. What do you all think?

[Billie The Puppet]

Thats assuming we meet. No word yet from her.

 

I have been thinking, and I am thinking of giving up dating for a while. I am still in love with Jen, and I have a hard enough time as it is with women. I am thinking of giving up dating and instead focus on school and my friends.

 

If a woman expresses interest, or if Jen wants me back, then it will happen. But I think I am done with pursuing women for a while. What do you all think?

 

I'm doing the same thing. I just can't but any effort into dates I've got them and some even went well while other's didn't because I still think my feelings for my ex show through. The one that went well was from a girl in the past that her and I always had interest in each other. However she is moving to France and I am not into LDRs

[Don Ho]

For the girls, all we did was meet for coffee, nothing fancy, I just wasn't their type physically. For the crazy stalker, I just ignore him, but I am reaching my boiling point.

Bro, that's good and good you don't buy them drinks. You weren't their type "physically"? A lot of attraction and interest from a woman comes from your attitude, confidence, sense of humor and acting like a man. If you were acting like the average Joe, then they may not have been interested. I'm sure you've seen hot women with guys that aren't great looking. And what do you think they have that you don't? Just what I said above. If you go into it thinking they're looking for George Clooney and you don't look like him, then you're already defeated before you even start. Get it? Don't get discouraged, it's all a numbers game. The more women you meet, the better your odds. Don't get out of the game just from frustration. BTW, you might want to try to tune into Tom Leykis' radio show. Talking about a hard core dating advice guy, tune into him, he'll probably open your eyes to lots of stuff about women.

[Banega100]

Yep, it's definitely a numbers game. Just keep that in mind, then failures are no big deal at all. How did you know you 'weren't their type physically'? how would you even find out something like that? It really is about finding the one's that are attracted to you, otherwise the process is rather reminicent of flogging a dead horse.

[DustySaltus]

College, I was supposed to meet a girl at the Central Park Boathouse a few months my ex and I broke up. I was excited and thinking that I was back. Well, an hour went by, two hours went by and she never showed up. I ate lunch by myself while I stared at swans...pretty pathetic. Then a week later I got a threatening call from the girl's boyfriend...great.

[Don Ho]

There's the problem College, you're in Montana. Have you checked out the sheep? Bro, there are and will be women that are interested in you. Even guys that are totally fat, "unattractive", with no job and so on can get or have a woman. There's always someone for everyone. That is the "trick". We always approach them first and go for the hot ones (which is fine). But they have to let you know they're interested. The woman I'm dating now I had seen at my gym. She had a BF and contacted me on Match after they broke up. Another woman that I met through a friend (and through Face Book) is now chasing me. I can totally understand you're tired of "looking" and just broke up with your Ex not too long ago, but I think if you look at it as a game and a challenge you'll find it's a bit more fun. Just incorporate it into your life. Keep us posted.

[collegeguy_24]

Well today I ran into my ex, her mom, and her new BF. It was at the homecomming parade, jen noded her head at me, I noded back and smiled, she did to, then I saw her BF. Since both jen and her mom were looking at me, her BF, Jakub, yes that's how you spell his name, Jakub Gedeon, I dnt care who see his name on here, gave me his useal smirk, I couldn't control myself and scowed heavily and /my face showed pure hatred. They left after that. It all happened o fast, like 1 maybe 2 minutes. Later on, I texted jens mmom to apologize, and she understood, saying she would like to disuss it more later when she has free time. I feel bad for showing so much weekness, but all the stress is getting to me! I am losing control, falling apart.. I don't know how much longer I can last.

[collegeguy_24]

Sorry for the bad spelling on my last post, it was from my cell phone and I missed a lot. I would go back and edit it but it wont let me.

[Billie The Puppet]

Well College since you gave his name I tried to look him up on FB just out of random curiosity but all I got was a foreigner who still has a High School as his network so I doubt it was him. Not that it matters to me at all.

 

Strike that it may be him as current city is the same. Is he a high schooler? Or perhaps to lazy to switch network to College.

 

 

As for typing on the phone I know what you mean I use the iphone and my U's I's and O's always get mistyped so you'll see fir's alor from me instead of for ti's instead of to's and so on. Plus its a pain in the ass to go back an edit with the iphone.

Edited October 10, 2010 by Billie The Puppet