prettyconfused Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 What compels people to time after time continually put their feelings on the line? I really don't understand the whole concept. To be honest, I think I'm just about done with being hurt and having that constant feeling of emptiness. It really does feel like your stomach is being knotted and twisted inside out. Its truely is horrible and I'm sure everyone who as ever posted or visited this site, at some point in their life has felt like this. And the common cause is...failing relationships! Many a time have I contemplated just not bothing with the whole issue and staying on my own. However, and i'll say this at the risk of contradicting myself, but, I love the whole idea of a girl loving me. What i'd like more than anything is a reply off someone who feels the same way or at some point has. Is it just me that thinks that its best just not to bother? Is that weird? I really don't know so any advice from anyone who has some will be well received. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 No it's not weird and it's not just you. You summed it up just fine: you don't want to be hurt again but yet you want to love again. You won't love until you take a risk. You can avoid hurt by never becoming truly vulnerable to another but in so doing you isolate yourself. That's a lonely way to live. Don't let fear rule your life - you will get so much more out of life if you love, even if it doesn't always work out. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I used to feel the same way that you did. I'm not sure if or how that would help you at all, just that I found the alternative rather dramatic--and I didn't want to participate. I found that the risk of heartbreak wasn't worth any rewards that mutual Love could bring. I'm lucky someone proved me wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
dario Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Dyer...do you tell you so this? That's pretty powerful. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Getting hurt sucks, but you cant find love if you dont try, hell im on my 25th straight rejection, but im going after 4 girls. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I've certainly felt that way. It's pretty normal when you're freshly wounded to wish to keep yourself safe from harm. Eventually the memory of pain fades and hope takes over. When you think of it, though, regret's a much more bitter pill to swallow in the end. Would you rather face your old age all by yourself because you chose to take the 'safe' roads in life? After all, it's people that matter when all's said and done. You can acquire and accumulate all you wish, but it's the people who make life worthwhile. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Human beings are social animals. Nearly all of us require close caring relationships with other people to be truly happy. It doesn't have to be an SO, but you do need to be close to a friend or relative. If what you are doing to find a relationship doesn't work, then how about trying a different approach? There are a lot of books out there to read for advice - some of them may even be helpful. But to all human beings, please don't give up on your fellow creatures. You need someone. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Originally posted by dario Dyer...do you tell you so this? That's pretty powerful. Yeah she knows, it was her fault Link to post Share on other sites
Misty2004 Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I can see now in my last relationship that I was trying too hard for something that wasn't worth it. That he wasn't the person for me, even though he claimed to be. I should have looked at his actions, not listened to his words. And not have spent so long putting up with s&*t becuase I thought it would be worth it in the end I think knowing when to let go and move on is something that i can gain out of this whole situation. So i will risk it again. I will find love again. I will let myself trust again. i will just choose the person more wisely. Link to post Share on other sites
look forward Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 prettyconfused i'm with you whats the friggin point.. I am at present walking around smiling and pretending to be happy with family and friends when enternally i feel like sh*t its exactly how you describe it like your stomach is being knotted and twisted inside out.. its awful.. i just think when will it all end? when will i feel like me again? sometimes i think i am being punished or something as i see everyone else around me truely happy and then theres me acting like a robot just plodding along in life with this inner pain.. all from a failed relationship and a selfish arsehole ex bf.. whats the point when i finally get over this pain (please come soon) that im going through... to go through all this drama again if the next relationship fails i really dont think my little heart can take anymore.. i really dont.. so i have started to believe even though its scary that maybe i am just meant to be on my own at least then i wont go through this sh*t again... Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettyconfused Posted February 17, 2004 Author Share Posted February 17, 2004 I agree with look forward. I mean, even if I do find some one an it does last, in the end one of us is going to be alone! And knowing that just makes me dwell on the fact more. Its all about what is and what never should be. An i think for me it just shouldnt. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettyconfused Posted February 17, 2004 Author Share Posted February 17, 2004 I know im not old enough to be feeling like this and I dont want to. It just takes too long to get over an ex-girlfriend. Im only 20 years old and I'm fedup with it already! Link to post Share on other sites
look forward Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I dont think age is the issue when you have been hurt and feel like you have been sh*t on from a great height.. I am 26 next month and still feel like sh*t... Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Be alone for as long as you need to but when you feel lonely, be confident that one day you will love someone so much that you will risk your heart again. The alternative is bitterness and unsatisfactory relationships in which you fail to give of yourself. Finding mutual love is largely a matter of luck and timing. Your experience will have taught you caution and refined your judgement in selecting someone that's right for you. These life lessons are hard but the emotional maturity gained may increase your chance of success in the future. Take care P.S. Welcome to LS fellow Brits - hope you enjoy your stay! Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettyconfused Posted February 17, 2004 Author Share Posted February 17, 2004 I know who would make me happy but I can't her. Its a girl I dated, we broke up a year an 3 days ago. I made some pretty bad chioces and I don't think she ever forgave me for that. We were together for two years, I still love her but shes been with this lad for about 7 months and shes really happy. I dont want to ruin that...well maybe thats a lie, i think I'd try if I thouight it would get me some were. I know thats a crappy thing to do. But I know it wont. She wont even speak to me. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 That's hard. Try and forgive yourself your past mistakes - we all make them. Do you still see her? It may be that you need some time without any contact so that you can let her go. It will get better - she will always have a corner of your heart but not all of it. There are LOTS of people on this site in your position - you may find it helpful to read some of their stories. Link to post Share on other sites
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