CM2009 Posted August 19, 2010 Share Posted August 19, 2010 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t183846/ I LS fam its been a minute since I've posted on here, but I just wanted to hear from the masses. My STBXW and I are about 3 months away from finally being legally divorced so I was at work last week and I got a text from her which was clearly out of the blue saying "I'm sorry, your a good guy who deserves to be loved as well as happy. I've really enjoyed us and im glad I had the experience, and I read like wtf is this for so I didn't respond until later that evening and just responded with thanks for the nice words and left it at that, and this hasn't been the only time she's hit me up out of the blue with something like this. A few months ago she called and left me a vmail and sounded kinda sad and was saying "I wanna apologize for hurting and I know I caused you a lot of pain" and some other mess. And its funny cause I was told that she was in a full blown relationship with the guy (who is still married as well) and had posted all on her Facebook. So I mean shouldn't she be more concerned about her new relationship and less concerned about apologizing to me. Well I'm lost on this one, let me know what ya think.... Link to post Share on other sites
habs53 Posted August 19, 2010 Share Posted August 19, 2010 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t183846/ I LS fam its been a minute since I've posted on here, but I just wanted to hear from the masses. My STBXW and I are about 3 months away from finally being legally divorced so I was at work last week and I got a text from her which was clearly out of the blue saying "I'm sorry, your a good guy who deserves to be loved as well as happy. I've really enjoyed us and im glad I had the experience, and I read like wtf is this for so I didn't respond until later that evening and just responded with thanks for the nice words and left it at that, and this hasn't been the only time she's hit me up out of the blue with something like this. A few months ago she called and left me a vmail and sounded kinda sad and was saying "I wanna apologize for hurting and I know I caused you a lot of pain" and some other mess. And its funny cause I was told that she was in a full blown relationship with the guy (who is still married as well) and had posted all on her Facebook. So I mean shouldn't she be more concerned about her new relationship and less concerned about apologizing to me. Well I'm lost on this one, let me know what ya think.... She feels guilty for what she did and is looking for forgiveness. Now she is in a doomed relationship and knows it. Ignore the woman and get on with your life. You will be happier than her, guaranteed. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted August 19, 2010 Share Posted August 19, 2010 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t183846/ I LS fam its been a minute since I've posted on here, but I just wanted to hear from the masses. My STBXW and I are about 3 months away from finally being legally divorced so I was at work last week and I got a text from her which was clearly out of the blue saying "I'm sorry, your a good guy who deserves to be loved as well as happy. I've really enjoyed us and im glad I had the experience, and I read like wtf is this for so I didn't respond until later that evening and just responded with thanks for the nice words and left it at that, and this hasn't been the only time she's hit me up out of the blue with something like this. A few months ago she called and left me a vmail and sounded kinda sad and was saying "I wanna apologize for hurting and I know I caused you a lot of pain" and some other mess. And its funny cause I was told that she was in a full blown relationship with the guy (who is still married as well) and had posted all on her Facebook. So I mean shouldn't she be more concerned about her new relationship and less concerned about apologizing to me. Well I'm lost on this one, let me know what ya think.... She's stringing you along, wanting you to wait for her. She knows you're moving on without her and wants to keep you waiting in the wings, DON"T FALL FOR IT! DIVORCE HER ASS! She just doesn't want another girl to ride you so you'll forget all about the Ex-Hex! Protect your assets and make darn sure that you don't screw her, she'll trap you with a kid or something. Make sure she can't saddle you with a kid from one of her lovers! Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 She's experiencing guilt, that's it, that's all. She wants you to relieve some of her guilt. You can do that for her by responding. If you don't respond, watch her get angry. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 OP, while this issue should be about as far from your radar as possible, one positive is that, to at least a minimal degree, the ex shows some signs of humanity. So, your instincts for marrying her weren't completely wrong. Unlike me. Hang in there man, it'll be over soon. We can celebrate together. Mine will be done about the same time. I've been spared the apologies, consistent with that reality throughout the M. Am I good looking or just lucky? Link to post Share on other sites
drewsmom Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 My stbxh has a gf, yet last night my son and I visited with a friend(stbx doesnt know her never heard of her) she is actually a friend of my sisters, she has 2 children my sons age so we thought it would be nice for them to play together, he thought we were going to my brothers, we always go there so son can play with his cousins. anyway the friend's name is leonor, we call her le,(guy girl which is it) so her son asks if my son can sleep over so we decide we will both sleep there, my son only met her son a couple times so he wasnt to great with his name, so he called daddy to say goodnite, and daddy asked where he was, he said me and mommys sleeping at my friends house, he asks who is your friend, so my son yells whats your name again, the little boys yells brandon. so i am sure now ex is wondering where the hell were sleeping. so today we get home late morning, and my mail is on the counter(son and i still live in the house till it sells) he must have came here to see if i was lying or i just dropped him off so i could go out. then tonite when ex comes to pick son up he was so short, he ignored me half the time. I was all bubbly and he hated it. he was acting the way i did when i found out he had a gf. see i have known he was with someone and i have dealt with it, but him not knowing what i am doing is killing him. hes a control freak. if were out he calls all day. hows it feel. makes me feel good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 She's experiencing guilt, that's it, that's all. She wants you to relieve some of her guilt. You can do that for her by responding. If you don't respond, watch her get angry. I did respond but later on in the night and I just left it at "Thanks" and left it at that...... Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 Yep its a control issue, she's feeling guilty because maybe shes outta the fog. Or either was to rekindle something... ...but after all the crazy things this parasitic woman did to you, my advice is to ignore her. Completely and totally. She is not your problem anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 Let's pretend she was fishing to see if you still care for her. Well? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 She feels guilty for what she did and is looking for forgiveness. Now she is in a doomed relationship and knows it. Ignore the woman and get on with your life. You will be happier than her, guaranteed. Yeah I totally agree. Cause she went from being with me to his dude and give her anytime to get her divorce finished up and started another relationship with another married man. While I just chilled even though I had my share of "fun" this year but I actually decided to chill out until this thing is over because I realized I need to do this thing right.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 OP, while this issue should be about as far from your radar as possible, one positive is that, to at least a minimal degree, the ex shows some signs of humanity. So, your instincts for marrying her weren't completely wrong. Unlike me. Hang in there man, it'll be over soon. We can celebrate together. Mine will be done about the same time. I've been spared the apologies, consistent with that reality throughout the M. Am I good looking or just lucky? Carhill baby I've checked a lot of ur post from way back the , but how did u feel when your ex sent u those bs apologies?? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 OP, shared elsewhere but thought pertinent....today, after mediation, stbx had occasion, while we were in the parking lot talking, to straighten my shirt collar, like she did while we were married, which was one of the little 'grooming' things we did for each other. Was this fishing to see if I cared? LOL, hell no, it was saying 'honey, thanks for leaving so much money on the table'. Truth comes in mysterious forms Watch out for this one too. Since we've been divorcing, stbx has asked more about my mother, now apparently with only a short time to live left, than she ever did during our ten years of marriage. Is she making up for past mistakes? Assuaging her guilt for abandoning me as a caregiver when I needed her most? Showing concern now that she shares no responsibility? Accept her sorry for what it is. Carbon dioxide. When I drove 200 miles to a friend's house last week to hug his wife and say I was so sorry her husband had died, that's what 'sorry' means. Actions. Rant over.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 Yep its a control issue, she's feeling guilty because maybe shes outta the fog. Or either was to rekindle something... ...but after all the crazy things this parasitic woman did to you, my advice is to ignore her. Completely and totally. She is not your problem anymore. well if it was rekindled shoot it wasn't nothing I did because I really haven't seen her in lawd knows when.... Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 well if it was rekindled shoot it wasn't nothing I did because I really haven't seen her in lawd knows when.... Well then stay black, because her still sleeping with dudes that are married, jumping from bed to bed, aint really helping. U dont need her as a distraction in your life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 Yep its a control issue, she's feeling guilty because maybe shes outta the fog. Or either was to rekindle something... ...but after all the crazy things this parasitic woman did to you, my advice is to ignore her. Completely and totally. She is not your problem anymore. well if it was rekindled shoot it wasn't nothing I did because I really haven't seen her in lawd knows when.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 Well then stay black, because her still sleeping with dudes that are married, jumping from bed to bed, aint really helping. U dont need her as a distraction in your life! So True..... Link to post Share on other sites
What_Next Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 My STBXW is doing something similiar now. We are still living under the same roof (my advice, DO NOT try that by the way...). After months of treating me like **** and other misc head games she decides suddenly today to start hugging our wedding pictures and claiming she loves me. Where the hell were they when she was saying "I don't love anymore" "I feel as though we are like room mates" "You can't make my happy anymore". Bull****. Pure bull****. Leave her on the street. Her OM is finished with her. In my case I bet the EA is over, so now she realizes the grass isn't always greener. Here's a thought, go buy a f____ng lawnmower and enjoy mowing all alone Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 But to be honest I really don't care for her apology. Too be honest it would really show me she's sorry if she apologized to that man's wife and his kids because of all the crap him and her put that woman through, its utter B.S. And she's lucky the wife didn't come after and beat her @$$... Link to post Share on other sites
zippy's login Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 She feels guilty for what she did and is looking for forgiveness. Now she is in a doomed relationship and knows it. Ignore the woman and get on with your life. You will be happier than her, guaranteed. Right on the button. Link to post Share on other sites
Nappeal Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 I wouldn't instantly assume she's not having a good time w the new guy, just, even those who do the most fkd up things to those they love find eventually they have a conscience. She's moved on but still has guilt for doing it @ your expense. I think you responded appropriatly. GL w your D Link to post Share on other sites
NYCmitch25 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 But to be honest I really don't care for her apology. Too be honest it would really show me she's sorry if she apologized to that man's wife and his kids because of all the crap him and her put that woman through, its utter B.S. And she's lucky the wife didn't come after and beat her @$$... Word... Actually it's rare for me to say this but I would have the urge to tell her to shove that apology up her ass.. Or perhaps something more diplomatic like "Wow, well that makes it all better" or "Sorry but I don't accept your self-serving sad-ass apology .. " It's not what people say but what people do, don't let easy words mask anything, she done you wrong and whats the point of this reconciliation? Selfishly make her feel better ? Even if she really means it, so what? You'll have to forgive her, and it will have to do it under your own fruition.. Link to post Share on other sites
tornandmarried Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 my stbxw said sorry to me about a million times..she would text me several times a day with "im sry" just out of the blue...my immediate responce was always "its ok" and she says "no its not".....when i ignored her appolagizes and went on with no contact, she suddenly wants me back...not really cuz she wants to be with me, but i guess, if i stay that means what she did is acceptable...but in comparison....my last x that cheated out on me didnt say im sorry till 2 years later...and were really good friends now actually Link to post Share on other sites
Distant78 Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 my stbxw said sorry to me about a million times..she would text me several times a day with "im sry" just out of the blue...my immediate responce was always "its ok" and she says "no its not".....when i ignored her appolagizes and went on with no contact, she suddenly wants me back...not really cuz she wants to be with me, but i guess, if i stay that means what she did is acceptable...but in comparison....my last x that cheated out on me didnt say im sorry till 2 years later...and were really good friends now actually Just like the previous posters stated, the only reason why she's saying she doesn't want you, but still rings up your phone, is because she's trying to damage control the situation. To "have her cake and eat it." She's trying to lessen the guilt, so just keep staying NC. Link to post Share on other sites
tornandmarried Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 yeah distant....theres so many little psychological things about relationships most people dont realize....this website has been A LIFE SAVER for me...its amazing all the things ive learned here...wish i knew about it before i got married or even years before that...im gonna come out of here being a much better lover....i been recomending it to all my friends in crappy relationships..im never gonna tell my wife about it tho haha Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Early in this thread someone mentioned anger as a possible reaction to no response. That's pretty accurate, at least in my experience. Makes you wonder. She's trying to regain some kind of footing, or it's a test. My ex has been following the same pattern for years, and it took me awhile to realize that I was simply part of the cycle, or chain. When friends grew thin she'd ring me up for a little reassurance. When it didn't go her way, she'd place me on the black list for awhile until my name came up in the rotation again. Because she's attractive, she's very good at manipulating men, but I'm the exception and it flat pisses her off. I'm not a hero, it's simple survival. Realizing this was a huge step in my healing process. It's good to know where you stand. Her issues are her issues. It's true now, and then. Our marriage couldn't survive them, but our divorce is holding up just fine- Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts