Author CM2009 Posted August 24, 2010 Author Share Posted August 24, 2010 Early in this thread someone mentioned anger as a possible reaction to no response. That's pretty accurate, at least in my experience. Makes you wonder. She's trying to regain some kind of footing, or it's a test. My ex has been following the same pattern for years, and it took me awhile to realize that I was simply part of the cycle, or chain. When friends grew thin she'd ring me up for a little reassurance. When it didn't go her way, she'd place me on the black list for awhile until my name came up in the rotation again. Because she's attractive, she's very good at manipulating men, but I'm the exception and it flat pisses her off. I'm not a hero, it's simple survival. Realizing this was a huge step in my healing process. It's good to know where you stand. Her issues are her issues. It's true now, and then. Our marriage couldn't survive them, but our divorce is holding up just fine- Yeah thats what it seems like esp with my ex, she's attractive and yes she very good a manipulating me and I can't even lie I've stupidly feel for it and it had me doing things for her even though we we're seperated, now I look back at it now like WTH was I thinking about.... I've noticed just going through my drama and listening to other peoples drama as well that it's all the a game and who plays it the best are the ones who don't get hurt in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 ...Well at least your strong enough now to see through the BS. No more manipulation, no more games. Stay black, move on and find someone else, maybe she can fix herself to start living more honest. Or not. But just focus on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 I look back at it now like WTH was I thinking about.... I've noticed just going through my drama and listening to other peoples drama as well that it's all the a game and who plays it the best are the ones who don't get hurt in the end. I understand, but don't be so hard on yourself. Your mind and heart was conditioned to love and care for her and those things don't change overnight. She knew this and took advantage. It's on her, really. Not you. Chrome is right; seeing and recognizing it is the first step towards breaking free. It isn't a game, unless you consider life a game. Respect starts with self respect. These very things you speak of is probably the reason she's texting these thoughts and emotions to you now. It is very possible that she feels you moving away, and no matter what an OM says or does, he is not you. No matter how strong her feelings for him, he is not you. Her husband. A part of her was banking on having you available. She's scared. It is part of the consequences one pays for betrayal. I'm sure it's dreadful- Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 She is just trying to gain back some control that she lost over you. Her type if incapable of feeling any remorse or compassion for a man. My ex tried that crap with me and I almost believed it until she started listing all the reasons why I drove her into the arms of the OM. That was when I saw she hadn't changed at all. These types only want a man to trust them enough so they can stick the knife then they will start twisting it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 Yep, CM you are her EX husband. Dont ever forget how that came to be. these guys are throwing straight jewels on you. The best thing is for you to stay NC, if it aint about business, dont talk. The OM is her confidant now. Let him take care of all her needs, and detach so you'll feel better if you ever saw her again. You need to get someone new in your life too, that might help. If not a woman, then a dog. lol. Take your mind off of things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 25, 2010 Author Share Posted August 25, 2010 Yep, CM you are her EX husband. Dont ever forget how that came to be. these guys are throwing straight jewels on you. The best thing is for you to stay NC, if it aint about business, dont talk. The OM is her confidant now. Let him take care of all her needs, and detach so you'll feel better if you ever saw her again. You need to get someone new in your life too, that might help. If not a woman, then a dog. lol. Take your mind off of things. Oh nah I really don't think about it like anymore I just found it odd and interesting (in a funny way) that she's sayin all this crap when I told her last Nov stuff to be careful she's gonna start to feel guilty. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Oh nah I really don't think about it like anymore I just found it odd and interesting (in a funny way) that she's sayin all this crap when I told her last Nov stuff to be careful she's gonna start to feel guilty. That's why she's contacting you now! BTW, you realize that she's gonna come back eventually after her OM drops her ass, then she'll be saying "I'm sooo sorry I hurt you" $hit hoping that you'll be stupid enough to take her back, RIIGHT! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted August 26, 2010 Author Share Posted August 26, 2010 That's why she's contacting you now! BTW, you realize that she's gonna come back eventually after her OM drops her ass, then she'll be saying "I'm sooo sorry I hurt you" $hit hoping that you'll be stupid enough to take her back, RIIGHT! Actually she called me last month when I was at work and left a msg on my vm sayin "I'm sorry for hurting you, I know I caused u a lot of pain and that wasn't right of me." it was another wth moments I had... Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Actually she called me last month when I was at work and left a msg on my vm sayin "I'm sorry for hurting you, I know I caused u a lot of pain and that wasn't right of me." it was another wth moments I had... Well, just don't have anymore of those moments and take her cheating ass back! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 For some reason I decided to check out this thread, I haven't been on LS in a long time. But 7 years later all is great with the world, I recently got remarried to someone who completely loves and adores me, and this time I married someone who didn't have kids from a previous relationship. My ex is well still my ex, I believe her and the guy are still together but it's funny though, she emailed me last week wishing me a happy birthday and still saying "I'm sorry for hurting you," and blah blah blah I just said thanks and moved on. But regardless life is great it feels good to have someone who is 100% behind you. For others who are going through a divorce there always the light at the end of the tunnel... thank you for everyone who has ever given me advice on here. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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