Joe Dirt Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 (edited) So, yesterday I found out there was a death in my family at 6:00pm. I received a call from my ex around 6:30 which I did not answer. I didnt think there was a way she could have known, but then I looked at my cousins facebook and it had about my uncle on there. I havent talked to her in months on the phone, and texts here and there. We were together for 5 years,and talked for 7 months after the break up. I saw her last weekend and we didnt talk to one another. So why would she call me to tell me her regards to the family. I mean she knew this guy so she still has a heart and cares, this shows that, but i didnt want to talk to her on these terms. I dont know if i should call her back, she didnt leave a message so i am in the dark. BTW, i want to talk to her and she knew that. But she has grown interest in another guy the last time I heard.... Edited August 20, 2010 by Joe Dirt Link to post Share on other sites
cookie2 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 Sorry for your loss dude. Don't bother talking to her. What can she possibly say? Especially if she has someone else... nothing she says will be what you want to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 I am sorry for your loss JD. I think it's probably best that you try to focus on your feelings regarding the death of your uncle, than on what your ex might or might not be thinking, right now. The fact remains, she is your ex, so it is not worth trying to second guess her behaviour, especially at this time, in my opinion. Take care. x Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joe Dirt Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 Thank you guys... It is just hard to find these things out and a half hour later she calls me... That is difficult to handle. In all reality I think it is BS it takes a death for her to contact me, but she is just being nice.... I want nothing but happiness, and if she cant call me for any other reasons then its not worth it. But deep in my heart I still have feelings for her and would call her if I was in her position. Whatever happens happens... I may call her back I may not. But like you said cookie, either way I have to be prepared because its not what I want to hear either way. But for now I have to focus on myself and family. I miss her every day.. but I manage a lot better now.. Life has a funny way of working out, I learn new things everyday. I am a better person every day... Link to post Share on other sites
Beeotch Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 Thank you guys... It is just hard to find these things out and a half hour later she calls me... That is difficult to handle. In all reality I think it is BS it takes a death for her to contact me, but she is just being nice.... I want nothing but happiness, and if she cant call me for any other reasons then its not worth it. But deep in my heart I still have feelings for her and would call her if I was in her position. Whatever happens happens... I may call her back I may not. But like you said cookie, either way I have to be prepared because its not what I want to hear either way. But for now I have to focus on myself and family. I miss her every day.. but I manage a lot better now.. Life has a funny way of working out, I learn new things everyday. I am a better person every day... Yepp...it is hard and awkward for the dumper too, as not because you break up with someone means you hate them and don't care about their well being. You often do, you just don't want to be in a relationship. So yea, if you want her back, then maybe it's best not to call. Chances are she genuinely cares but is not trying to get back together and you will be upset and disappointed. Funnily, we're the ones who disappoint ourselves many times. We know the truth but often imagine it can be different and when things turn out just as we thought, we get mad. At this point, unless she wants you back you probably are gonna think everything she does is wrong, so its best to just think that she called cuz she cared but you're not in a position to appreciate it so it's best to keep it moving. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 Sorry to hear about your loss man. Your ex calling shows that she still cares for you on a different level. Like a friend or a family member not as a lover. My ex sent me a birthday card and inside also had her condolences for my grandfather. It felt nice that she cared, but I wanted her back, and her condolences and her card were sweet and everything but had NO signs of reconciling, which brought me down. It's a tough choice. If I was in your position, I would call to say thank you and that's it. But I understand why staying on NC is good too. I mean, she hasn't bothered to contact you at all until there was a death ya know? It's up to you man really. And I would do the same if a member of my ex's family died. I'll keep you and your Uncle in my prayers. Wish you luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joe Dirt Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 Thank you all for your kind words. I just received an email from her saying she heard about my uncle and sorry for the loss. She said to tell my family sorry and she would come to pay her respects but that would not be appropriate. And finished by saying take care. Sometimes people do things because they care, because they are good people inside, but why does it still hurt so much for her not even to ask how I am.... Really?... Nothing but more hurt Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 Thank you all for your kind words. I just received an email from her saying she heard about my uncle and sorry for the loss. She said to tell my family sorry and she would come to pay her respects but that would not be appropriate. And finished by saying take care. Sometimes people do things because they care, because they are good people inside, but why does it still hurt so much for her not even to ask how I am.... Really?... Nothing but more hurt That's why we're here Dirt. BTW: I love your movie haha I know how you feel. My ex sent me condolences and a happy birthday and all of that and that's really sweet and everything. But not once has she said "how are you?" to me. All I got was "When are we gonna be friends again?" with a little frowny face at the end. Yeah, that really hurts. Don't let it bug you though. Take her condolences like they were from a friend. Again, I wish you well Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joe Dirt Posted August 20, 2010 Author Share Posted August 20, 2010 haha, Wish that was my movie... needed a cover up name here Anyways, at least you got a when are we going to be friends comment. How did you respond to that card? I am thinking whether to respond or not. I mean she did take time to say her condolences, so I might as well respect them with at least a thanks. But I am the type of person who would ask how she was and if she would like to talk sometime. And end up with a page email. I have a lot of unanswered questions with her, but now is not the time or place. I want to talk to her. She is the only one who stir up my emotions by just reading her name on the email or incoming call that i missed. She hurt me bad.. and I still want her back, at least to see if something is still there... Should I respond? Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 haha, Wish that was my movie... needed a cover up name here Anyways, at least you got a when are we going to be friends comment. How did you respond to that card? I am thinking whether to respond or not. I mean she did take time to say her condolences, so I might as well respect them with at least a thanks. But I am the type of person who would ask how she was and if she would like to talk sometime. And end up with a page email. I have a lot of unanswered questions with her, but now is not the time or place. I want to talk to her. She is the only one who stir up my emotions by just reading her name on the email or incoming call that i missed. She hurt me bad.. and I still want her back, at least to see if something is still there... Should I respond? Understandable. I don't enjoy the name "Username37" I'm more creative than that XD True, but I don't want friendship. And I found her offering of friendship kinda fake. And I was torn like you. I decided not to reply back because she's the one who told me not to talk to her for the whole summer. I see nothing wrong with a simple "thank you." Then after that, NC. We all want to talk to our exes, but there are so many stories where we did and it ended badly. And I know that feeling. When I see her name, my heart just goes crazy. And I get mixed emotions. It's gonna suck because Monday, I'll be seeing her. Link to post Share on other sites
Sambo Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 (edited) Nothing but more hurt Joe Sorry about your Uncle eerily mine is on his death bed as well and I was contemplating letting her know but what's the point. If our ex's want us back hell or high water won't stop them and if we contact them then all we do is set ourselves up for hurt. Btw, her last email to me was signed Take Care as well, so I know exactly how you feel. It's like such a slap in the face after you've loved someone and they leave you. My advise is save your feelings and stay NC to you truly can speak to her from a place of true strength. Edited August 20, 2010 by Sambo Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 But I am the type of person who would ask how she was and if she would like to talk sometime. Sorry to read about the loss of your uncle. If that's the type of person you are, then be that type of person. Reply back with something along the lines of "Thanks. I've been wondering how you have been. Would you like to talk sometime?" Link to post Share on other sites
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