"People on LS glamorise affairs"

[Distant78]

I read glamorising as laying it on thick, exaggerating, making it sound rosy when it isn't. I took it as a criticism, that there was some sort of conspiracy to 'sell' the lifestyle to the world. Nothing I have read supports that at all.

 

So, if I accept that someone who writes about being happy and content, enjoying their A etc counts as glamorising then what indeed is wrong with that?

 

You know why.

[MorningCoffee]

Odd assertion, that people on LS glamorize affairs.

 

To my eyes, the glamorization of EMAs comes from Hollywood, the media in general (People, US, etc etc), even great literature (Madame Bovary, Anna Karenina) and other sources of romantic tales.

 

Posters on LS are dealing, on the other hand, with what is sometimes known as Real Life, with real consequences and real pain. Don't see much glamorous about that.

[White Flower]

Hello... I haven't been posting in a long while.. been extremely busy with my new house.. anyway...

 

I am one of those OWs who is very happy with the As... this is all I need.. I don't want them full time.. I get them under their best behaviours.. they're always nice, clean and smell good, they,re always happy to see me.. and make me feel like a million bucks..

 

In my case.. it is glamour..

Welcome back and congrats on the new house! We've missed you girl.

[2sure]

Ok, this is LS lets just bring real life into it for a second.

 

What is your stereotype of an OW/OM in an Affair?

What is your stereotype of a MM MW in an affair?

 

Some of the poster HERE actually Fit those stereotypes almost to a T right? But come on, were intelligent people for the most part. Stereotypes are just that - an imaginary thing. The posters that fit the stereotypes are probably not being honest...if not with us then with themselves.

And thats the truth, whether someone fits the stereotype of an AP, or a thug, or a nun. If its that much of a T...its fakery.

 

OK. Now think of the people you know in real life who are involved in infidelity. Your spouse, yourself, your friend, his wife, your boss, your neighbor.....THATS THE REAL DEAL. How many of those people have you lost respect for, or become confused about, or felt sorry for?

 

Thats Infidelity.

[OWoman]

Ok, this is LS lets just bring real life into it for a second.

 

What is your stereotype of an OW/OM in an Affair?

What is your stereotype of a MM MW in an affair?

 

I'm truly confused by what you're trying to get at here. I don't have a stereotype of either of these. I don't, typically, go around stereotyping people. I'm not sure how many people do.

 

Some of the poster HERE actually Fit those stereotypes almost to a T right? But come on, were intelligent people for the most part. Stereotypes are just that - an imaginary thing. The posters that fit the stereotypes are probably not being honest...if not with us then with themselves.

And thats the truth, whether someone fits the stereotype of an AP, or a thug, or a nun. If its that much of a T...its fakery.

 

Again, that would depend on your "stereotype". Unless you have a cast of stock characters in your head to wheel out on demand, how could you tell whether someone on LS conformed to some stereotype or not?

 

Or is this all code for something else? I'm truly confused!

 

OK. Now think of the people you know in real life who are involved in infidelity. Your spouse, yourself, your friend, his wife, your boss, your neighbor.....THATS THE REAL DEAL. How many of those people have you lost respect for, or become confused about, or felt sorry for?

 

Lost respect for - none. Become confused about, none. Felt sorry for a few, fair enough - but how much of that had to do with the A and how much of that had to do with choosing to remain in a crappy M with a crappy S, it's hard to tell.

[White Flower]

Ok, this is LS lets just bring real life into it for a second.

 

What is your stereotype of an OW/OM in an Affair?

What is your stereotype of a MM MW in an affair?

 

Some of the poster HERE actually Fit those stereotypes almost to a T right? But come on, were intelligent people for the most part. Stereotypes are just that - an imaginary thing. The posters that fit the stereotypes are probably not being honest...if not with us then with themselves.

And thats the truth, whether someone fits the stereotype of an AP, or a thug, or a nun. If its that much of a T...its fakery.

 

OK. Now think of the people you know in real life who are involved in infidelity. Your spouse, yourself, your friend, his wife, your boss, your neighbor.....THATS THE REAL DEAL. How many of those people have you lost respect for, or become confused about, or felt sorry for?

 

Thats Infidelity.

And what is your stereotype of a H or a W in a M?

 

I do think it boils down to stereotypes. Those who believe we glamorize our As have deep-rooted stereotypes on what As consist of.

 

Lingerie wearing spinners who flip flop across the room, who live to please our MM while they pay our bills, trapse us around town, and wait for them on pins and needles until we can scratch the ceiling again.

 

NOT!

 

They are most often real Rs with real problems AS WELL as joy. Those who shoot us down for having joy in this type of R want to say we are glamorizing the A but if I claim to experience joy in my M I am not glamorizing anything, just enjoying life like I'm supposed to.

[2sure]

You know, its funny now that I think about it. When I was OW, I played the stereotype OW. LOL. For sure. I wasn't pining or waiting of course, but I had more lingerie than Ive ever had. Still, like I said, it was fake .

[2sure]

Currently my stereotype of OW would be: vulnerable

MM: selfish or cry baby. Probably both.

 

Not glamorous

[Dexter Morgan]

I haven't read anything 'glamorising' affairs personally, but then if you don't like it, don't read it, problem solved!

 

hey, I wholeheartedly agree. Just like if someone doesn't like what someone else says, ignore it or don't read it rather than letting one's delicate wittle sensibilities get the better of them:lmao:

[Dexter Morgan]

Hello... I haven't been posting in a long while.. been extremely busy with my new house.. anyway...

 

I am one of those OWs who is very happy with the As... this is all I need.. I don't want them full time.. I get them under their best behaviours.. they're always nice, clean and smell good, they,re always happy to see me.. and make me feel like a million bucks..

 

In my case.. it is glamour..

 

I rest my case.

[Dexter Morgan]

You've got one person there and to be fair I don't think she is glamorising anything, it just happens her life is glamorous.

 

OMFG...........:confused:

[Dexter Morgan]

And...??? what is wrong with glamorizing affairs

 

ask the people that are hurt by the affairs.

[OWoman]

You know, its funny now that I think about it. When I was OW, I played the stereotype OW. LOL. For sure. I wasn't pining or waiting of course, but I had more lingerie than Ive ever had. Still, like I said, it was fake .

 

I've always had loads of lingerie. It makes me feel well-dressed, and good. I've never seen that as fake... and god forbid that being M makes me think any differently!

[breaking_bad]

My hypothesis:

 

I think that alot of As have more electricity and a more "passionate" connection because (with the exception of cake eaters) someone who is at that point of being in a relationship that has a hole is more open to connecting to someone else. It's like a positive and a negative ion colliding and getting stuck ....

 

So I think that's why guys and gals who in relationships that for some reason are not satisfying a very deep or important need are more prone to enter EAs or PAs and form this unusually strong or intimate "bond". Because they're kind of in that state to really need and crave and desire that bond. It's like a hole that needs to be filled.

 

And I think that makes some ppl feel that this connection is more romantic and possibly more "glamorous" than one that comes with a typical relationship. Because single girl, single guy, both kinda happy and content w/ their own lives have a healthy, more calm connection and attraction as opposed to the hot and heavy and almost desperate clingy variety of an A....

 

And the feeling of that really intense collision of 2 people (both with really sensitive receptors) feels like a big ol' pipe of crack

 

And of course to most people, that intense feeling is way more "romantic" or at least way more "glamorous" than two people who really get along and have alot in common but are not frenetic crazy about it.... Because isn't that what we're told love is supposed to be? ooh lala.

 

Anyway, nothing in this post implies actual relationship status of WS/BS, or why As happen, or whatever. I just think the "romantic/glamorous thing" about As has something to do with the above.

[ladydesigner]

My hypothesis:

 

I think that alot of As have more electricity and a more "passionate" connection because (with the exception of cake eaters) someone who is at that point of being in a relationship that has a hole is more open to connecting to someone else. It's like a positive and a negative ion colliding and getting stuck ....

 

So I think that's why guys and gals who in relationships that for some reason are not satisfying a very deep or important need are more prone to enter EAs or PAs and form this unusually strong or intimate "bond". Because they're kind of in that state to really need and crave and desire that bond. It's like a hole that needs to be filled.

 

And I think that makes some ppl feel that this connection is more romantic and possibly more "glamorous" than one that comes with a typical relationship. Because single girl, single guy, both kinda happy and content w/ their own lives have a healthy, more calm connection and attraction as opposed to the hot and heavy and almost desperate clingy variety of an A....

 

And the feeling of that really intense collision of 2 people (both with really sensitive receptors) feels like a big ol' pipe of crack

 

And of course to most people, that intense feeling is way more "romantic" or at least way more "glamorous" than two people who really get along and have alot in common but are not frenetic crazy about it.... Because isn't that what we're told love is supposed to be? ooh lala.

 

Anyway, nothing in this post implies actual relationship status of WS/BS, or why As happen, or whatever. I just think the "romantic/glamorous thing" about As has something to do with the above.

 

I like this. You pretty much summed my A up for me. Straight "fantasyland":rolleyes:

[In_Repair]

Right on. Speak the truth.

 

My earlier post, that you quoted, apparently offended someone because it appears to have been deleted. I've had a few deleted lately, so it's really no surprise. Though it would have been nice to have a real explanation for the deletion of that particular post... but oh well.

 

I'm going to step away and refrain from posting in this forum for a while. Good luck to everyone.

[Distant78]

My earlier post, that you quoted, apparently offended someone because it appears to have been deleted. I've had a few deleted lately, so it's really no surprise. Though it would have been nice to have a real explanation for the deletion of that particular post... but oh well.

 

I'm going to step away and refrain from posting in this forum for a while. Good luck to everyone.

 

I know. One of my posts were edited also. I guess freedom of speech is not so free here. See you soon!

[lilbunny]

hey, I wholeheartedly agree. Just like if someone doesn't like what someone else says, ignore it or don't read it rather than letting one's delicate wittle sensibilities get the better of them:lmao:

 

Exactly my point. I fail to understand why people who clearly just want to attack OM/OW come to post in a forum which states it is for support and discussion for people in that situation.

 

I have no objection to posters who come to offer constructive advice on someone's situation. I fail to see what people who know that everything and anything they read there will only offend them and THEN feel compelled to share this get out of it. Why do it? If talk of glamorous liaisons or someone involved in an A experiencing difficulties seeking advice is so offensive, why repeatedly subject yourself to it?

I can't see the attraction or purpose. I am also intrigued by those who feel the need to belittle the opinions of others by expressing laughter.

 

I came here to speak honestly with other people who have been through similar experiences and seek advice. If I read a post and feel I have something relevant and constructive to say then I do so. If I feel my views and opinions are being challenged I will respond. I don't pass judgement on anyone or involve myself in discussions where I have nothing constructive to add.

 

Funnily enough I have never suggested there was anything glamorous in my own situation, far from it, but I defend other people's right to come to this part of the site and discuss their relationships freely. As I explained earlier 'glamorising' to me means talking it up, exaggerating, putting spin on it i.e. being false and dishonest to give the appearance things are better than they are.

[White Flower]

I've always had loads of lingerie. It makes me feel well-dressed, and good. I've never seen that as fake... and god forbid that being M makes me think any differently!

Exactly, sometimes I think it is more for me than for him!

[silverfish]

Exactly, sometimes I think it is more for me than for him!

 

Isn't that always the case...

[Dexter Morgan]

My earlier post, that you quoted, apparently offended someone because it appears to have been deleted. I've had a few deleted lately, so it's really no surprise. Though it would have been nice to have a real explanation for the deletion of that particular post... but oh well.

 

problem is, people that whine and complain about the truth you'd speak have no problem offending and hurting people in real life.

[Dexter Morgan]

Exactly my point. I fail to understand why people who clearly just want to attack OM/OW come to post in a forum which states it is for support and discussion for people in that situation.

 

because too many times its support to help keep the affair going and the aiding of the betrayal and hurt of someone else. Its disgusting.

 

what I was talking about is that such people can be utterly despicable in real life towards someone, but then get all pissy over the true words on an internet forum. its hypocrisy at its finest.

 

 

I have no objection to posters who come to offer constructive advice on someone's situation.

 

constructive advice on the continual harm of someone else?

[Mimolicious]

problem is, people that whine and complain about the truth you'd speak have no problem offending and hurting people in real life.

 

Word! Funny how much importance anyone here can give to simple TEXT, yet they don't care to create so much real life drama.

 

Back to the subject- there are few people who BLING the hell out of their A's. No names... you know who you are.

[Lizzie60]

ask the people that are hurt by the affairs.

 

In my case, we are extremely careful.. I don't want to hurt anyone.. because I don't want them in MY life.

 

It is inevitable anyway.. to think that 2 people can stay together all their life without EVER having sex with others is just UNREALISTIC...

 

Those who think they are in a perfect marriage/common law.. just don't know (like my MMs' spouses) or it hasn't happened YET... (but it will)..

[Dexter Morgan]

In my case, we are extremely careful.. I don't want to hurt anyone.. because I don't want them in MY life.

 

It is inevitable anyway.. to think that 2 people can stay together all their life without EVER having sex with others is just UNREALISTIC...

 

Those who think they are in a perfect marriage/common law.. just don't know (like my MMs' spouses) or it hasn't happened YET... (but it will)..

 

 

I know....you don't think taking time away from the BS isn't considered hurting them.