"People on LS glamorise affairs"

[BB07]

As far as I can tell, all it takes is vindictive use of the Alert button. I also strongly suspect that there is bias when it comes to moderation. You can get an infraction for defending yourself here, even if the instigator was out of line.

 

 

You could be right.........but it's only one man and he is like us, not perfect.

 

I don't understand why they don't hire or take on a volunteer that would help him, but I guess it's not for me to know.

 

I got whacked once and I really felt it was undeserved, but I took it, what choice did I have?

[BB07]

Yeah, outside of trolls I haven't seen much glamour either. Most of the OW here are in pain and looking for some sort of help. I'm not sure where one could reasonably form an idea of romance and glamour. Its just one festering ball of pain, it seems to me.

 

 

I very much agree with your post. I think happy OW's spend very little or no time here.

 

It's not to hard to put a % on the unhappy CURRENT OW's here and I would venture a guess it's in the 95 - 97%, of course that doesn't count the no longer OW's or the BS who post. Seems there is lots of misery to go around.

 

When I first came here, I came here thinking i was a former OW and even after all the time that had passed between then and now it still caused me a lot of grief. I was looking for resolution and some peace about it all, and hoping to share my wisdom. Well little did I know............but I was still the OW. Finding that out has been life changing to say the least.

 

Never again........it's much too painful. It leaves to many scars.

[jennie-jennie]

You could be right.........but it's only one man and he is like us, not perfect.

 

I don't understand why they don't hire or take on a volunteer that would help him, but I guess it's not for me to know.

 

I got whacked once and I really felt it was undeserved, but I took it, what choice did I have?

 

I understand they have been looking for volunteers, but people have given up quickly. It's a load of work. And there is no money to hire anyone.

 

You've been whacked once? Wow. I have gotten 26 infractions all in all.

[BB07]

I understand they have been looking for volunteers, but people have given up quickly. It's a load of work. And there is no money to hire anyone.

 

You've been whacked once? Wow. I have gotten 26 infractions all in all.

 

LOL........I said whacked once unfairly. I didn't mention the others that were probably deserved.

[jennie-jennie]

LOL........I said whacked once unfairly. I didn't mention the others that were probably deserved.

 

Oh thank you. I'm glad I'm not standing out that much in the crowd then.

[BB07]

Oh thank you. I'm glad I'm not standing out that much in the crowd then.

 

The one that got my panties in a wad, was about abuse. The woman was having an affair, but yet she was being abused by her husband. One of the responses completely ignored the abuse, but concentrated on the affair and all the ugliness that some posters use about that. (You know that crude and rude stuff that happens way to often.) The response was really nasty and ugly and well it pissed me off and I let it fly. Couldn't help myself.

 

Sorry for the t/j.

[OWoman]

As far as I can tell, all it takes is vindictive use of the Alert button. I also strongly suspect that there is bias when it comes to moderation. You can get an infraction for defending yourself here, even if the instigator was out of line.

 

"Both" sides feel there is bias against them when it comes to moderation - which is pretty close to the definition of compromise, and suggests that Tony's doing a pretty good job of maintaining a level of impartiality.

 

I've had more infractions than hot dinners, and I've been told REPEATEDLY by Tony (and AgentD, and other mods when they existed) to hit the Alert Button rather than defend yourself (or someone else you see being attacked) and I can see the point - aside from cutting down on the amount of infractions and stools in the naughty corner that need monitoring, it also keeps the temperature down and stops the whole thread spiralling into a flame war at the first hint of waywardness.

 

"There are a lot of people on LS who glamorise affairs" - read on a different LS board.

 

I've been accused of this many times - partly because my As all worked out very nicely thank you, and many posters here wish I didn't exist so that I wouldn't be around to mention how things worked out for me to counter their assertions that nothing EVER works out for the OW and that her only hope of happiness is immediate, permanent and complete NC.... and partly because I judge each situation here on its own merits, and if an OW / OM / WS is genuinely happy in their A, or in the "right" headspace to be starting one and looking for tips on ensuring its success, then yes, I will wish them well. I'm not naive and I don't think every situation will work out, and nor do I encourage people to do things that will clearly bring them unhappiness - but ANY well-wishing or encouragement is seen (by some) here as "glamourising" and invokes hating from the disapproval brigade.

[jennie-jennie]

The one that got my panties in a wad, was about abuse. The woman was having an affair, but yet she was being abused by her husband. One of the responses completely ignored the abuse, but concentrated on the affair and all the ugliness that some posters use about that. (You know that crude and rude stuff that happens way to often.) The response was really nasty and ugly and well it pissed me off and I let it fly. Couldn't help myself.

 

Sorry for the t/j.

 

And you got an infraction but the rude poster didn't?

[jennie-jennie]

I've had more infractions than hot dinners, and I've been told REPEATEDLY by Tony (and AgentD, and other mods when they existed) to hit the Alert Button rather than defend yourself (or someone else you see being attacked) and I can see the point - aside from cutting down on the amount of infractions and stools in the naughty corner that need monitoring, it also keeps the temperature down and stops the whole thread spiralling into a flame war at the first hint of waywardness.

 

Lately I have been accused of "assuming the role of LS gatekeeper moderator" by posters who do not like that I do exactly what Tony has told me to do: "hit the Alert Button rather than defend yourself (or someone else you see being attacked)". I too have been told this REPEATEDLY by Tony. I have listened to him and now rather than join the fight, I report an offensive post.

 

Apparently some posters find it offensive to hit the Alert Button. But it is there for a purpose. And Tony's advice to use it rather than defend oneself is, I presume, what he has seen work for the best of the site.

[OWoman]

And you got an infraction but the rude poster didn't?

 

 

How would one tell, unless the person themselves 'fessed up? Unless the person already has so many infractions that they get banned or suspended or put on moderation (and you then guess that from their silence - but they could simply be away, or busy...) they would simply carry on posting as before, possibly posting a little less offensively, to avoid more infractions, but possibly not caring either way?

 

Sorry for the t/j, just wondered...

[OWoman]

Lately I have been accused of "assuming the role of LS gatekeeper moderator" by posters who do not like that I do exactly what Tony has told me to do: "hit the Alert Button rather than defend yourself (or someone else you see being attacked)". I too have been told this REPEATEDLY by Tony. I have listened to him and now rather than join the fight, I report an offensive post.

 

Apparently some posters find it offensive to hit the Alert Button. But it is there for a purpose. And Tony's advice to use it rather than defend oneself is, I presume, what he has seen work for the best of the site.

 

I've also been accused of being an "alert nazi" by those who would prefer their offensive posts not to result in infractions, but while I fully support the principle of freedom of expression, I am also too well acquainted with the consequences of "hate speech" and so find myself on the side of "free, but responsible" expression, within the constraints of affording others respect and consideration for their dignity, etc.

[jennie-jennie]

How would one tell, unless the person themselves 'fessed up? Unless the person already has so many infractions that they get banned or suspended or put on moderation (and you then guess that from their silence - but they could simply be away, or busy...) they would simply carry on posting as before, possibly posting a little less offensively, to avoid more infractions, but possibly not caring either way?

 

Sorry for the t/j, just wondered...

 

You see if their post is deleted or not. That is what I presumed. If it is still there and not even moderated, no infraction.

 

If you can't send someone a PM, that is likely because they are temporarily banned. (Or they might not like you, and have blocked you, I guess.)

[OWoman]

You see if their post is deleted or not. That is what I presumed. If it is still there and not even moderated, no infraction.

 

If you can't send someone a PM, that is likely because they are temporarily banned. (Or they might not like you, and have blocked you, I guess.)

 

Sorry to continue the t/j, but posts of mine have been edited byTony (to remove whatever was deemed offensive) and left looking otherwise intact, with no obvious Tony footprint on it... which might lead some unhappy person to feel that he hadn't stomped on me and so life and LS was terribly unfair and biased and unspeakably awful... when in fact it had all happened behind the scenes. Dunno. I suppose one could hang out at those sites which shall not be named and read the bitching carrying on over there to look for clues, if one was interested enough and frankly I'm not - but I was just surprised at the certainty some people seem to have about who gets spanked, and who doesn't, by Tony.

[Dexter Morgan]

"There are a lot of people on LS who glamorise affairs" - read on a different LS board.

 

Is that true?

 

 

yep

 

 

I can't think of a single post that's done that. Perhaps I'm colouring it as I read

 

thats exactly what you are doing.

[jennie-jennie]

Sorry to continue the t/j, but posts of mine have been edited byTony (to remove whatever was deemed offensive) and left looking otherwise intact, with no obvious Tony footprint on it... which might lead some unhappy person to feel that he hadn't stomped on me and so life and LS was terribly unfair and biased and unspeakably awful... when in fact it had all happened behind the scenes. Dunno. I suppose one could hang out at those sites which shall not be named and read the bitching carrying on over there to look for clues, if one was interested enough and frankly I'm not - but I was just surprised at the certainty some people seem to have about who gets spanked, and who doesn't, by Tony.

 

I thought Tony always added "Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator" if he edited a post. Are you saying he missed adding that on some occasions?

 

Yeah, if you look at those sites they are suggesting Tony is hitting it off with the OW here, us servicing him with sexual favors. Come on.

[lilbunny]

thats exactly what you are doing.

 

Would you be willing to explain that further?

I really can't see how I (or anyone else for that matter) glamorises a lifestyle some of us have consciously sought, others have fallen into. I can't see any glamour in my life so I'm not sure how I am portraying this in my posts. I am genuinely interested in how this comes across.

[jennie-jennie]

Here is another poster complaining about glamorising:

 

If you think constructive criticism is bad, then what about the people on here who glorify sleeping with another's man for years at a time, and saying how affair sex made them feel "alive," and how their husbands are so lame and boring?

[OWoman]

I thought Tony always added "Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator" if he edited a post. Are you saying he missed adding that on some occasions?

 

Or maybe I missed seeing it? Dunno...

 

Yeah, if you look at those sites they are suggesting Tony is hitting it off with the OW here, us servicing him with sexual favors. Come on.

 

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

Given how many countries we're dispersed over, and given that Tony is AFAIK in the US, he'd need to be very amply endowed to reach across the oceans!

[OWoman]

Would you be willing to explain that further?

I really can't see how I (or anyone else for that matter) glamorises a lifestyle some of us have consciously sought, others have fallen into. I can't see any glamour in my life so I'm not sure how I am portraying this in my posts. I am genuinely interested in how this comes across.

 

((((hugs)))) lb! I have glamour aplenty in my life - and if that offends certain posters who feel glamour is only due to those who have paid for it with a M certificate, then tough tochas!

[jennie-jennie]

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

Given how many countries we're dispersed over, and given that Tony is AFAIK in the US, he'd need to be very amply endowed to reach across the oceans!

 

Tony, my MM is unavailable at the moment! Where are you? :love:

[Dexter Morgan]

Would you be willing to explain that further?

I really can't see how I (or anyone else for that matter) glamorises a lifestyle some of us have consciously sought, others have fallen into. I can't see any glamour in my life so I'm not sure how I am portraying this in my posts. I am genuinely interested in how this comes across.

 

it happens all the time here on LS. you got people in affairs saying how happy they are, how good the sex is, etc.

 

then you have the posts about how the OW/OM can't wait until they see their MM/MW the upcoming weekend...etc. Stories have been told about their romantic weekend getaways with the AP....etc.

 

if you aren't doing this, then all fine and dandy....but it does happen here at LS and all too often.

[OWoman]

it happens all the time here on LS. you got people in affairs saying how happy they are, how good the sex is, etc.

 

then you have the posts about how the OW/OM can't wait until they see their MM/MW the upcoming weekend...etc. Stories have been told about their romantic weekend getaways with the AP....etc.

 

if you aren't doing this, then all fine and dandy....but it does happen here at LS and all too often.

 

That's not glamourising - that's telling it like it is!

 

If an OW is not happy, if the sex is not great, etc - then what are they doing in the A?

 

If people don't like to read about it, they should stay away. I certainly wouldn't censor my life just because some bitter BS doesn't like to be told how happy I am.

[lilbunny]

((((hugs)))) lb! I have glamour aplenty in my life - and if that offends certain posters who feel glamour is only due to those who have paid for it with a M certificate, then tough tochas!

 

Don't get me wrong I have a good life and do lots of nice things! I'm just not a supermodel sipping champagne by the pool and zipping around in the MM's private jet.

 

I just tell it like it is and I have no idea how I am selling something glamorous. It wasn't aware I was part of a recruitment drive for extra marital affairs!

 

I am also feeling very left out if everyone else is apparently getting some from the mod, I didn't get asked!

[donnamaybe]

I don't think they "glamourize" them, per se, but I'm absolutely certain that many times, particularly for OW/OM caught up in a years long affair that is obviously going nowhere beyond the current status quo, doubts and unhappiness will be glossed over for the sake of making it appear as though the AP is fine with said status quo.

[2sure]

Every affair and relationship is glamorized..thats part of the polish that makes each of us feel like our intimacy with another is unique and special. Affairs more likely are romanticized more simply because they have the element of forbidden love and sacrifice. Bunch of crap ...But anyway -

 

Even when I had affairs with MM and was for the most part involved for some part time affection and gifts...I mistakenly and foolishly felt it was glamorously part of a whole "bad girl" thing.....which I used to disguise my diminishing self worth.

 

For the MMen however, that romanticism and glamorization was an essential part of the affair...wouldnt have worked without em.

 

So to me...even if someone's description of their affair or partner does not include those adjectives...the feelings of some glamor and romantic enhancement are still there. Lots of times, mistakenly.