casper Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 About September I allowed myself to have an affair with a married co-worker. I hadn't been employed long when he started with the amorous glances, winks and compliments. The compliments were nice to here and the attention he gave me made me feel good so I admit that I didn't put up a whole lot of fight. He asked me to meet him after work one night (we worked til 2am) to talk and I agreed. He was my friend first so I talked to him about guilt he may feel, his situation at home and how an affair would effect our friendship later on. He gave me his assurance that everything would be alright as far as he was concerned and he was sure he wanted to go ahead with it. A couple of weeks later we slept together for the first time. Afterwards he started shunning me at work and not long after, while at work, he tells me he felt guilty and confessed to his wife. I was livid with him at first but I respected his decision and we decided to remain friends. However, during the friendship period he would use vulgarities to describe things he wanted me to do to him and would even unzip his pants in front of me. I became pretty suspicious at this point and wondered if he had actually confessed at all. It wasn't long til he was asking me to meet him again and I did because at this point I didn't care if he felt guilty or not. After the second time we slept together, history repeated itself. Like Dr. Phil says; "Past behavior predicts future behavior". He confessed again (or so he said). I confronted him one night after work and I told him that I didn't care if he confessed a hundred times it was having no effect on me anymore and he should stop with the lies because he was a fool if he thought I believed him. I ended the affair this time and the friendship ended too. So some time goes by and call me a fool but I fell for his desperate, heartfelt apology and we rekindled the friendship. He said he missed me; he missed our talks; so forth and so on and one thing lead to another and we slept together a third time. This time I got pregnant. It was the day after Thanksgiving and he and I were chatting on the internet when I told him. He said it couldn't be his because he was not able to have children. I knew he was definitely lying about this and when we returned to work the following Monday he saw how hurt I was and wanted to talk about it later. We decided together that bringing a baby into the situation such as it was would only cause heartache for the child later on and his family, so to keep anyone from finding out, I terminated the pregnancy. Up until the day of he was very supportive and understanding and I thought I even saw a glint of guilt in his eyes. After a few days, I returned to work and this bastard has the audacity to walk up to me and say "lick me". If looks could kill!!!! I can't express the hatred I felt at that moment, I've never felt anything like it before. Well this same evening at work I was badly injured on the job and was taken to the hospital for surgery and a 4 day stay. I was terrified to tell the doctors and nurses what I had just been through but I was able to pass it off as just being the normal thing woman do. I made it through just fine. A few weeks later after some recuperation at home I got on my computer and he was on. We exchanged a few words and then he dropped a bomb on me. He told me he confessed the pregnancy to his wife. I'm still undecided if I believe this or not. Right now I'm really confused because if he had told me he was going to tell his wife my decision certainly would have of been different. Her knowing would have eased some of the fears I was having. I don't know if I deserve this treatment or not. My emotions right now are really screwed up. I'm still recuping at home from the injury and when I do return to work I don't know what to do or how to react towards him. If he approaches me again, I just don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I'm not sure what this guy's dysfunction is, but I would cease all contact with him except what is absolutely necessary at work. He sounds downright creepy and he has no respect for you or his wife. Get away from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 He is just messing with your head, trying to keep you around, go find a nice single guy to be with. Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Good Lord, I'm feeling sick to my stomach just reading this thread. How old was is this neanderthal? 17? I can't believe a functional, mature adult would come up to a woman who just went through an abortion and say "lick me." Since you watch Dr. Phil you know another of his famous sayings, "You teach people how to treat you." You have taught this man that it's okay to have sex with you, lie to you, use you, talk dirty to you, and then dismiss you without a second thought. You yourself have allowed every single action to occur. I'm not trying to get on your case here at all. I'm just trying to make you see that you have full control over this situation. If you're a smart woman you will seek new employment as soon as you're able. Until then, stay the hell away from him. Have no contact with him by phone, internet, or at work (unless absolutely necessary there). If you continue talking to him and having sex with him, you'll be asking for what you get--which will be more disrespect and abuse. Link to post Share on other sites
faith04 Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Stay away from the dickhead! Ignore him as much as possible. He sounds like a real winner, let me tell ya! When he came up and said lick me, I would have said "BITE ME!" Sounds like this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. He's nothing but a con artist. A big fat liar. However, you need to quit sleeping with him, don't talk to him and pretend he doesn't even exist. You need to stay away from married men. It's just wrong. If your with a man that cheats on his wife with you, what makes you think he won't do the same to you. Plus, you shouldn't want to be the one that comes in between someone else's relationship. This "so-called" man you talk about is no man at all.....he's an immature little boy. Next time he says something to you....Act like he's not even there. Oh! Did someone say something? I must be hearing things. I could have swore I heard some fag talking to me. Must me my imagination. That really pisses them off. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I don't know if I deserve this treatment or not. You DO NOT deserve this treatment. This man is turning you into a victim. Please do not allow him to do you any further damage. Link to post Share on other sites
ArdeaCandidissima Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 How horrible. He has treated you shamefully. And I'm sorry to say you have let him do it. Where is your anger? Where is the part of you that says, "You can't do this to me?" Your letter will haunt me for quite a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Chicane Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Hi , Seems to me as a Male Myself , this guy is a piece of dirt . It constantly suprises me how badly men can be with the fairer sex . Everything I read in how he treats you tells me that he likes you as his doormat . Where are the sweet words , where is the heart felt actions , I see nothing of that here . Seems like he has little redemption in his actions other than he knows he can get away with it because you are letting him do so . He says he has told his wife this & that , I doubt it . I myself and involved with a MW and as much as I wish she would say something to him , knowing I would be there for her is the marriage fell apart . She hasn't said anything yet and that's with her knowing that she is the world to me and that she has someone who cares for her deeply . This guy is a bad work of art in the worst sense , I don't believe he is a real man because he acts like such a little boy , No accountability whatsoever . Good luck - but best keep looking as this guy is not someone you want in your life . Link to post Share on other sites
Skittles Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 ooh casper you have been abused and now the abuse must stop. ask yourself what you need to nurture yourself and stay far away from any relationship right now...there is something that keeps you going back for more punishment...make it a priority to put yourself first and maybe you can find another job.. I know easier said than done..but the guy who messed you up has too much information that could damage your reputation down the road.... It's time to haul a** out of there. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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