My Best Friend?

[Extric]

I'm really hoping that a few of you guys could help me out in this situation. It's basically me having strong feelings for my best friend, but I'll give you the whole background real quick before asking what to do (it's a little long, sorry.

 

I've known this girl, Kristin, for more than a year and it's amazing how quickly we've become so close since I tend to have a hard time building even a friendship with anyone. In the beginning we were just co-workers and we didn't really talk a lot. But after I had come back to work after taking for for about half a month, things started to grow then. Initially a few of our other co-workers and I were talking about relationships and how I wasn't in one. Someone suggested that to the two of us (Kristin & I) should go out, and her response was sure, but I was a shy boy at the time and just shoved off the idea at first (though it did catch my attention that she didn't have a problem with it)

 

Now a couple weeks after we exchanged phone numbers and we started to talk to each other more often at work (not so much outside of work even though we had each others numbers). A few of the people at work were pushing a little for us to get together, the main one being a mutual friend between the two of us. It felt like she was giving me a few more signs that she did want me to ask her out with things like mentioning the song "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix reminded her of me and how she commonly sat next to me when we saw a movie with a group of friends. All this was creating stronger feelings for me as well since we seemed to click really well.

 

After two months I finally manned up and asked her out through an email (yeah, I know, a crap way to do this. I didn't like doing it that way, but she was hard to get a hold of in-person at the time and I mentioned in the email that I would have rather have said everything I did to her face). She kindly told me that she liked having me as a friend and told me that in general (not just aimed at me) she was just looking for a friendship at the time after being in a relationship for the past 3 years. The way she worded her reply felt like she wasn't saying no, but to ask again after she's had a breather from being in a relationship.

 

After that I backed off just a little bit. I wanted to give her space, but be there enough that I could build our relationship so that when the time was right I'd have a better chance at getting a "yes" when I asked. We didn't talk all that much throughout the rest of the year and our friendship actually died off just a little bit (we still talked, but very rarely outside of work). It wasn't until February this year that things started to pick up and they picked up quickly. She had a loss in the family and I was one of the few who came to her to make sure she was alright. From then on we became closer than ever.

 

We found out we had a lot more in common that we initially thought and we each had hobbies we'd share and introduce each other to. Our biggest thing was that she would share movies that were her ultimate favorites or classics I'd never seen. It became our major thing to talk about. Then around March/April we were hanging out a lot more often. Doing movies mostly at the time. Whenever she was going to do something like a movie with her friend/friends she would say that I should come and she was more open to going places with me than she had in the past. A lot of the times, after we got done with whatever we did, we'd end up talking really late at night in the parking lots of the places we were at. We also were texting each other every day pretty much.

 

The biggest moment that led to me wondering if I should try again came when she was going to leave work due to her going to college in the Fall. I asked on her last who she was going to miss and I was the first person she listed. About a couple weeks after she quit, we were eating out together and I brought up the question again (just to see which of our other co-workers she missed and wasn't meaning to see if I was one of them) and I, again, was at the top of the list.

 

Now I began thinking about how I should approach this. I've pretty much fallen for the girl and now I want to make that move again, but it's seeming more risky than it did before. We're so close that I'm not quite sure if I'm in the "Friend Zone." I don't want to bring up my feelings a ruin the great friendship I have with her and those thoughts have ruined the couple of chance's I've had to tell her. The main one being this past Wednesday.

 

We were having one of our long talks in the parking lot and she mentioned she had to go home since she was going to have to go back to packing before she left Friday. Earlier that day I had planned on saying something to her then, but we sort of made unoffical plans of seeing each other Thursday before she left and I thought that maybe that would be better (that way I didn't risk not seeing her Thursday just because I made things awkward). Well those plans didn't turn out at all and she left Friday without me saying anything.\

 

Now I'm stuck in the situation of how I should go about spilling the beans. I can't say my feelings face-to-face like I would like to, so I'm once again stuck in the situation where I'm going to have to email/text/message her everything (which is going to make me feel a little like a jackass since I told her I didn't like telling her through text). I'm also not quite sure how to even start a conversation that would lead to me saying everything since any conversation starter I can think of that would have to go through text is too obvious and it makes me think she would back off from responding. Then there's the feeling of not wanting to risk the friendship even though I may have a perfect shot at making her more than a friend.

 

I guess, basically, should I take the risk and tell her everything, even though I'm restricted to crap methods?

[WTRanger]

If you value this girl at all you will do this face to face or at best over the phone man to woman. You do realize that phones can transmit voice don't you? No text, no email, not chat. Women dig confidence and not some spineless wuss who does everything over text/email/chat.

 

It makes no difference however, the answer you will get is the same as before. She'll say she's not ready for a relationship and she's still sorting things out. Which translates to, I'm not wanting to be a relationship with YOU but when Mr. Confidence (who we all know she'll meet at the first frat party she goes to) comes along I'll hop his bones faster than greased lighting.

 

You screwed this up by playing it too safe. Nothing risked is nothing gained. She's gone, she's in college that you are not attending, so let her go. She's got hundreds of new guys to meet and she's not going to want some love-sick puppy dog always yapping at her heels.

 

Sorry bud, but learn from this one. Let her go! Do not sink deep into crazy stalker mode.

[vipo]

I'm not forcing you to think about my opinion, but, do you really chose you partner, or just picking him up ?

If you are with someone, that would means you have already know how hi is, how much you can trust him, and how you'll have to interract with him, no ?

if this person seems not to be meriting you, WHY GIVE HIM INITIALLY A CHANCE TO ENTER YOUR LIFE ??

I'm just not native English so sorry if any fault, an d sorry if I wasn't able to share my opinion with you, but this is my limits of the language, hope you can personally develop the idea and think about it more deeply, then wich you a good luck for what is comming after

[sunnygray]

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.

[Darren Steez]

You haven't been sincere my friend, you liked her, asked her out, she said no, you backed off. Than you came to her in her time of need..great friend but you also still had feelings, now your friendship has progressed and you're looking for little signs or a crack in her armour so you can push on through and make your move. You showed you're a good guy, now she trusts you and has let you in, for now back off and be a friend and respect her wishes, if her feelings towards you change then so be it, but if you go blundering in confessing your undying love, you just might lose her altogether.

[smritipakar]

The best friend it the friend that share every thing with her/his friend it is the thing that depend on trust and if it break than never come so you have to tell your friend about that if she came to know that from some one else than she hurts a lot so you have to tell .