4allison Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 i have a great husband who loves me, family and friends who cares for me but i always feel like there is something missing but i think about having a baby and it gives me hope and happiness. do you think that it's selfish? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 i have a great husband who loves me, family and friends who cares for me but i always feel like there is something missing but i think about having a baby and it gives me hope and happiness. do you think that it's selfish? Hi Allison, I saw your thread over in the Marriage section as well. Ultimately, it's not your husband or friend or baby that's going to make you happy, it's yourself and your attitude to life. A baby isn't going to fill the hole you have, it's probably just going to make you more frustrated when you realize that the baby isn't going to fix your problems either. I wouldn't call it selfishness but more like the wrong medicine and a wrong diagnosis. Have you done any counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
cesar13 Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 It sounds like a co-dependancy, to what I have no idea. Nothing will ever make you happy , you should be the one that controls who you are, how you feel. Nothing else should control your emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
pinnacle Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Great day! It all starts within. Take a deep look inside yourself to identify what is making you feel unhappy. You have to change your mindset before you can change your surroundings. Link to post Share on other sites
DavidWhite Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 Are you lacking a passion in something? Is there something you wish you were doing but you aren't? Link to post Share on other sites
wishing4thefuture Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 i have a great husband who loves me, family and friends who cares for me but i always feel like there is something missing but i think about having a baby and it gives me hope and happiness. do you think that it's selfish? no sweetheart, not at all. keep thinking about it but also let it give you strength and energy to get things done. it's a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 i have a great husband who loves me, family and friends who cares for me but i always feel like there is something missing but i think about having a baby and it gives me hope and happiness. do you think that it's selfish? No It's not selfish. You cant control your hormones, most every girl wants to have a baby. It's just natural. Link to post Share on other sites
tantus Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Please don't just have a baby. The best time to have a baby is when ur ready, by that i mean u have read baby books started thinking of nursery ideas and both husband and u on same page for ready to have a baby. There is too many kids that have to dealt with things they shouldnt. kids need to be kids and most child dont. too many kids are being born without parents thinking of true what they want. What happens if u get pregant put all ur effort into the babies first few years and then deciede u dont want to take care of a child anymore. I wish more people would think and be ready for a child then saying ops i got pregnant and dont know what to do. First get yourself happy and satisfied before thinking about having a kid. Maybe getting a pet. Motivation to walk, run, exercise helps release happy feelings. Please continue to think before u up and decide something. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 I know I'm a man and so I really dont have any room to talk, but women have been having babies without self help books and nurseries and parenting classes and pets since time began. It's as natural as waking up in the morning. All those what ifs are needless worrying. Link to post Share on other sites
shayan Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I'm glad you want to have a child and that's fine. However, if you think it will solve your unhappiness, I beg you to think a little further. My advice take a couple of months to work on yourself. Find ways to get in touch with who you are on the inside. The fact that you are in a happy marriage and still dissatisfied tells me that you have not fully developed your identity yet and are unaware as how to satisfy yourself. So you want to have a happy child, well then you better have a happy mother first. You want to work on your children then work on yourself first. That is my advice. Don't rush! Link to post Share on other sites
habib89 Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 every keeps saying "you need to make yourself happy" etc etc. but how do you do that? i too am an unhappy person, but i don't know how to make myself happy. do i need to find something to do? those just seem like distractions when deep down i'm still angry or frustrated or just plain unhappy. is that all happiness is? a string of distractions that keep you from being negative? Link to post Share on other sites
jimrich Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 re: i have a great husband who loves me, family and friends who cares for me but i always feel like there is something missing but i think about having a baby and it gives me hope and happiness. do you think that it's selfish? .... PLEASE do not 'have a baby' just to fix your self. That would be so wrong for the baby/person. Look into stuff like: self worth, self esteem, self confidence, counseling, therapy, religion, happiness, search for Eckhart Tolle on line do just about anything to find personal happiness but do not USE a baby to make you feel good. http://www.google.com/search?client=opera&rls=en&q=happiness&sourceid=opera&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8 Link to post Share on other sites
Life Coach Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 Here's an article from USA Today you may find helpful plus my comments re the article. http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/mind-soul/2010-10-06-happiness06_ST_N.htm?plckFindCommentKey=CommentKey:61930512-5cf9-4fad-9830-64fbd044f39d Of course most of those suggestions point back to doing things that make us feel better about ourselves. In essence the happiness scale is based on how we feel about our self and what happens in our life. The key lies in one's perspective & especially the level of confidence one has in their ability to handle & negotiate whatever life hands us. http://yourlifecompass.com/ Link to post Share on other sites
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