Marginalized

[hydorclops]

Ok, Uh...well. Anyway, I'm not in the mode of trying to date or anything. But maybe someday I will be. The thing is, I'm here to get some vicarious experience in romantic/intimate relationships.

 

The big problem is that I'm struggling with severe depression. I'm officially disabled and am going through pretty intensive therapy, meds, one on one therapy, group therapy.

 

So that's my biggest issue. But also I don't have a car and I live in a house with others that have similar problems. That makes three big problems. Plus I'm fat and I smoke.

 

But I'm also pretty smart and kind and funny. I have two friends, also in the system, but I only see them a couple times a month.

 

I'm sort of lonely, but I also can really enjoy solitude even though it's not good for me.

 

I'm being encouraged to go out and be around people and make friends.

 

My question is: If I'm good enough to be friends with someone, why wouldn't I be good enough to have an intimate relationship?

 

It seems like most would have no problem if I made a new friend or two. But most of those same people would disapprove of me having a girlfriend. Plus I'm not much of a catch I know.

 

The many dozens of women I've met in the system seem to have normal dating lives and are involved with "normal" men. The men in the system are mostly like me...I wonder why that is.

 

I know, wah wah, poor me.

 

But I need some ideas on how to think about all this.

[hydorclops]

Bump.

 

I refuse to be marginalized.

[florence of suburbia]

Well, one way to think about it is to set a goal for yourself and then break it down into the smallest sub-steps you can manage. Take on one sub-step at a time.

 

What do you think it would take for you to get a date?