Am I overreacting?

[flsgirl]

I guess I'm wondering if I overreacted with my ex-boyfriend. Here's the story...My boyfriend of 3 years broke if off with me (in a horrible way) and moved back home, which is across the country. We had a great relationship (so I thought) and was pretty shocked to find out he was breaking it off. Basically it came down to how he hated living in Florida and wanted to move back home. I had no clue he was unhappy. This happened back in August.

 

In November, we began talking again and he told me he made a mistake and still loved me and wanted things to work. I told him I'd consider it if he would keep all his promises to me (he had to show me that he was trying). He needed to make the effort to fix our relationship. I felt like I was always the one bringing up any "issues" we had. I feel like he hasn't made that much more of an effort since November (he calls a lot more, that's about it). He says he doesn't want to talk about "us" until he sees me in person. He's planning a trip in March.

It's frustrating to me because I think it's important that we talk about us now. If we get back together, it would require me moving back North and finding a new job (i'm okay with that though).

 

So Valentine's rolls around and I sent him a card (nothing mushy). It turns out he did nothing for me. It didn't want any thing except a card. All I wanted was for him to make a small effort to show that he cares about me. He never had a problem in the past with this. His response was "If it's any consellation, I didn't get anyone anything." and "I called you, didn't I?"

 

I told him that was pretty crappy and it hurt my feelings. He just said if "you're just going to lecture me then I'm getting off the phone." We haven't talked since. I'm pretty pissed and am on the verge of telling him to not even come down here. Am I completely out of line or do i have a valid reason to be pissed?

[luvcrazy02]

I think you have valid reason to be pissed. To me...effort is the most important thing in a relationship. If you're willing to move across the states to be with him and accomidate him to make things work...a simple little card wouldn't have killed him. For you to make that big of a decision and change in your life for him...he needs to show you that things will work out...so that way you don't decide three months later that YOU made a mistake. It also sounds like he has a hard time listening to what you have to say. Communication is also very important in a relationship of any kind. If he can't communicate and consider your feelings...it's not worth the trouble. You'll end up getting hurt in the long run, and then you'll be away from your original home and life you were use to...so it'll be harder in that way too.

[morrigan]

He doesn't seem to want to make compromises, or at least that's what I'm getting from your post. Part of his reason for breaking up with you might have been the living situation, but there were udoubtedly other reasons.

 

Do you really enjoy your life in Florida? If you do , I'd weigh that consideration against your feelings for this guy. Keep in touch with your ex, but I wouldn't move anywhere for awhile.