effit Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 It's weird. I have a lot of friends. Both male and female. I take care of myself and have a good job. But its like girls dont even consider dating me. For example, there is this girl I work with. Shes single. And i talk to her about every day. We get along and have even hung out outside of work a few times. The other day i hear her talkin about some wedding shower/party she was going to and how she needed a date. The girl she was talking to suggested taking pretty much every other we work with except me lol. I guess its the whole friend zone thing. I cant get out of it with anybody. The frustration im feeling is probably compounded by the fact that I've been the bestman in a wedding, a groomsman in one, and will be a groomsman in another in 2 weeks. All in the span of about 3 months. Im happy for my friends that got married, but it just feels like im gettin left behind and its just getting really annoying that I cant get over the hump.... But yeah, just thought this seemd like a good place to get this off my chest. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 But its like girls dont even consider dating me. Ummm, it may sound a little obvious, but have you asked out these girls you're talking about on a date...? You can't assume that women will spontaneously become interested in dating you upon visual contact... They can't consider dating you if you're not asking them out on dates... Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Very true. The only way a woman knows you are interested in her romantically is if you ask her on a date or try to get time with just her. Guys who are interested in romance (or at least more than friendship) flirt and suggest meeting up or make it clear they are interested by the kinds of questions they ask. For example, they usually find an indirect way to ask if I'm attached. They make it clear by their behaviour and interest that they are focused on me and not on the people around. They sometimes compliment me. They often try to find a point of contact (and I don't mean physically, but an area of mutual interest) so they can see if there is a way to get together to enjoy that interest. Sometimes their questions can be bordering on personal, suggesting a desire for emotional if not physical intimacy. All in all, I get a strong impression they are interested. Then, if they suggest an outing somewhere too, it's fairly clear though not absolutely. They will often make more than one attempt to find a way to end up in a one-to-one situation. Friends, however, behave differently. They talk about their interests and we see if they overlap. They are friendly and helpful, but don't usually make compliments in case I might think they were flirting (they'd feel they were stepping over the boundaries a bit). They get embroiled in group conversations more than individual ones with me. They are interested in my life, but don't ask anything too personal in case it's not polite. They stick to safe subjects and rarely mention anything to do with dating or desires. They say that events of mutual interest are coming up but rarely suggest we go to them together. They have an 'I'm here if you want to ask me to go out to something' attitude rather than a 'Let's go out somewhere ... and soon!' one. They give the impression they like you but would rather stay in their safe zone. You just know they are easily breakable so you don't risk messing around with them for fear of hurting them. They don't take risks and seem embarassed when it's just the two of us somewhere. It can be confusing at times. Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Im in the same boat ive never had a women show any interest in me or want to be with me initmately.. Im 30 now and basically have givem up..Some of us just arent attractive to women and no amount of fluff advice will magically change that.. Link to post Share on other sites
shawnc Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 Most girls expect us guys to make the first move - it's the way of life. Remember also that women just like us can be low on self confidence, afraid of embarrassment, etc. If you like her, ask her out. Simple as that. The worst she can do is say no. Shawn Link to post Share on other sites
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