Are these mixed signals? What should I think?

[LadyAndTheVamp]

I like this guy and here is the story. Please help I have no idea if he likes me as a friend or more or maybe even less. I'll shorten it as best I can.

 

He is a year older than me in a different grade. I see him in the halls and have a class with him. I text him ocasionally and try to talk to him whenever I can but it's not much.

Once he pushed me and I could say anything so j texted him and asked why he pushed me and he said he had to because he knew I wouldn't say anything.

Another time he called me things like nerd and loser and stuff when I called him a jerk for calling me one.

He sometimes waves at me but I freak out so I don't do anything.

He won't always reply to me on texts or IMs.

And he I said that I was already used to him pushing me that I can move before he does. Then he said he was just being nice. I said ithought saying hi was nice but he said not to him. And he would rather me push him than say hi.

 

I'm not sure I really understand him. I don't see why he would rather me push him over saying hi.

Anyone know if he possibly likes me? Or is he sending mixed signals? Or why he would rather me push him? Is he embarrased of me being his friend?

 

If you need more info I will tell you. Thank ya.

[spiderowl]

He is behaving immaturely anyway, but then I guess he is still in school so it's probably to be expected.

 

He is pushing you. This isn't really the normal way to communicate with a girl, but it does mean that he is paying you attention. He is noticing you and making contact in his immature way.

 

He doesn't always answer your communications and messes you around, so beware! He is playing with you and some guys who do this carry on playing and just want to manipulate the girl. They often don't want a relationship just sex.

 

It could be that he is an OK guy though and really doesn't know how to catch your eye, so he's provoking and then sitting back to see what happens. Perhaps he finds you generally unresponsive and is wondering what the real you is like.

 

If you like this guy and want to get to know him better, you will need to express yourself more - talk to him, say what you think about various things, show him the real you and not the silent, shy person you are showing him at the moment. If he's a decent guy, he will be delighted to see you have character because you will be throwing him something to work with. When he finds out you don't like popcorn (or whatever you've let him know), he will pounce on it and maybe tease you. It's just so that he can get an opportunity to interact and see how you respond to him being playful. This is a good sign that he likes you and if you play along too, you are giving him a sign that you are willing to overcome your shyness and connect with him.

 

Also (and very important), you need to set boundaries. You need to tell him what you expect of a man, in as tactful a way as possible. You can do this by half-joking, half-serious talk. For example, 'If I like a guy and text him, I expect him to text me back, otherwise I won't notice him'. Or, 'Pushing is an unusual way to get to know someone. I prefer a guy to [insert how you'd like him to approach you], otherwise I might get the idea he's pushing me away'. Basically, because he's young, as you are, you need to teach him how you like to be treated. If he insists on ignoring what you've said, then ignore him. Don't reward him with your time and attention if he treats you badly, only if he is making you feel valued and happy.

 

Good luck!