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Do actions speak louder than words?


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This is my first time at any kind of forum like this. I would just like to say that I feel tons better knowing that others are going through the same thing as me. I apologize for relying on your misfortunes to make me feel better.

 

I met this girl about ten months ago in April. We instantly became great friends. We spent all our time together and connected in a way that neither had done before. I began to have romantic feelings for her and asked her on a date. She said no. I let it go. Nothing changed between us. We grew even closer. I started sleeping over, first on the couch and then in her bed - still no romance. Then one morning I went for it. Just a kiss goodbye. No reaction on her part. We grew even closer and the romance eventually happened. We didn't really discuss what was happening. We just let it flow. It lasted for nearly two months and then it stopped in August.

 

Obviously I knew the romance was gone but nothing else between us changed. We were still very connected and she phoned me everyday. I now know the reason for her breaking it off. She held some fundamental values that I did not have at the time and I was just not marriage material to her. I knew she was falling for me and I truly understand why she had to end it.

 

Now, about four months later in January, I have made changes in my life. Not changes meant to get her back, but merely because they were the right thing to do - gave up drugs and found Christ. I honestly did this for myself.

 

Before this, however, she said she wanted to start dating other people. She went out a few times and hasn't met any guys to her liking. She says she compares them all to me. I couldn't take this and told her I couldn't be her friend any longer. She called me four days later. She said she lost the best thing in her life. She says she can't go back to her old feelings but is willing to see if things flow like before. I guess I am being too impatient. I want it back right now. So in the meantime I told her it hurt too much to be her friend a couple of times and she keeps calling me back. She said she needed time to think and it lasted five days before she called.

 

I guess the reason it hasn't been rekindled is that I keep pushing the subject. I want to talk about our chances all the time and she never wants to. So six weeks after all this began she said we needed time apart again. I am 100% sure that she will call within two weeks. What I want to know is am I the one screwing this up or is this woman playing with my mind? What gives? Any advice on the situation will be greatly appreciated.

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DENTALASSISTANT

Man, I don't know. My situation is crazy as well. I guess all you can do is wait and see, but it kind of sounds like she wants a roommate not a boyfriend and is just waiting to see if something better comes along. Or she really does like you, but isn't attracted to you sexually and that can cause this kind of result as well. If you get a chance read my situation and see if you can help me.

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Originally posted by konfused

I have made changes in my life. Not changes meant to get her back, but merely because they were the right thing to do - gave up drugs and found Christ. I honestly did this for myself.

 

Yes, you're being too impatient. She probably wants to know that you really have done the above, that it's for real, and that you really did it for yourself and not for her. It may take living for some time without her, staying away from the drugs, and growing in your relationship with Christ (independently of her) for her to really feel confident that you are a new man. If she really felt so strongly about you, she'll probably still feel the same way after a while, and she can then feel more confident that she's with the right person because she'll see that the reasons she had reservations before are truly no longer valid.

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Love can be goofy Konfused! It's easy to read into stuff which just isn't there.

 

It appears as though this was a 'whirl-wind' romance for YOU....but she was taking it slow. It could mean she was scared to get involved.....or it could mean she was hesitant because she wasn't sure you were the right person for her.

 

Just because you aren't right for someone does not indicate there is something wrong with YOU....it just means this one relationship didn't jive. If she says she need to date other people....and then calls you back later....doesn't mean it's 'true love'. It can mean she will continue to see you (again) till someone else comes along.

 

I would think she does care about you and enjoys your company.....maybe even wants you as a friend.....but it doesn't seem as though her feelings of love are as deep as yours.

 

I don't personally put too much stock in 'winning someone back'.....but sometimes it does seem to work. Maybe you need to give it some time. And once the time you've decided was 'long enough'.....you may want to reasses your situation and move on.

 

Reading between lines....is a dangerous heart game. MOST of the time...when love is really there...you don't have to.

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i didnt read your post since im really sleepy right now.

 

the answer is yes, actions speak louder tahn words....NO matter what situation you're in.

there are tons of examples i could give you. you can even think of some i know, but ur the one who's gotta realize that actions proves that you're not just talking BS

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