xomissraddox Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 my husband and i are dealing with a mass of relationship issues, and i dont think we will be together much longer. on top of that we have a son on the way, due in november. the biggest problem we have is naming the baby. he shot down EVERY name i absolutely love and came up with. some of the names that i chose were in respect for deceased family members (including a 25 y/o cousin who recently died from diabetes, my godfather, and one of my friends who died tragically in a car accident 2 days before my birthday last summer). i went on multiple baby name sites, bought multiple books, did everything in my power to find a name we both could agree with. he came up with one, and it started to stick. then he decided he dident like it and came up with another few that i am totally not fond of. since my husband and i may not last, would it be better if i just named my son what i want, and completely disregard anything he say about not liking it? or should i just stick with the name that stuck(but then again he decided he doesnt like it that much anymore)? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 I'd keep looking. Hopefully, whether you stay married, he will stay in the baby's life, so it will behoove you to pick something he's happy with, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Choose the name YOU want.. end of story. What if you NEVER agree on a name.. then what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xomissraddox Posted August 24, 2010 Author Share Posted August 24, 2010 Choose the name YOU want.. end of story. What if you NEVER agree on a name.. then what? i only have 3 months until the baby is born. its almost like he has put NO effort in looking for a name :/ and he has to sign the papers too. i dont want drama while im still in the hospital...especially right after giving birth. this is my first time, i dont want to stress more than i already am...its the last thing i need. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 i only have 3 months until the baby is born. its almost like he has put NO effort in looking for a name :/ and he has to sign the papers too. i dont want drama while im still in the hospital...especially right after giving birth. this is my first time, i dont want to stress more than i already am...its the last thing i need. I can understand that.. but what if you can't agree on a name???? You let him win cause you don't want drama??? Link to post Share on other sites
HaWhoKnew Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 since my husband and i may not last, would it be better if i just named my son what i want, and completely disregard anything he say about not liking it? or should i just stick with the name that stuck(but then again he decided he doesnt like it that much anymore)? Absolutely not...it is his child too. If you two are still together at the time of the birth...it should be a name you both agree on. Granted you cannot agree on one name right now, but there are hundreds of thousand of names out there, you should agree on at least one. If there was one name that he agreed on and than changed his mind, seems like that is the closest thing to a compromise you can come to and I would go with that one. Just a suggestion..I LOVE the name Archer...You can call him Archie! If you dont mind me asking....we're you two on good terms when you got pregnant? Link to post Share on other sites
nittygritty Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Narrow a list of first and middle name combinations down to the top three favorites. Once you see the baby you will have a better idea of which name suits him. Don't give the baby a name that you don't like. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 I'm sorry for your relationship troubles, but here's what worked for us wrt baby names. My wife and I have always had alot of trouble agreeing on baby names, and we've been through it several times. One son went unnamed for at least a day until high-level negotiations were finally successful. What helped us was each of us preparing a list with a couple of dozen names. If there was no overlap, we'd pick out 5 or 6 of the least-objectionable names from the list of the other person and finally whittle it down. Or, if he won't do the necessary work, name the kid what you want after properly warning him that you'll do just that if he doesn't get off his ass. Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Wait till he's born. Look at him and THEN decide. Don't burden him with names and expectations of people who have lived and gone. Let him make his own way in the world with his OWN name. Ownership of a name is important ! It defines who you are. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 O/T, but while you're waiting for your little one to be born, why don't you read His Needs Her Needs? It will help you understand how marriages can become, or stay, healthy. Maybe you can still save it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xomissraddox Posted August 24, 2010 Author Share Posted August 24, 2010 to answer the question if my husband and i were on good terms while we decided upon having a child, the answer is yes, things were almost perfect, we had hit a hugee rough patch in out marriage just a few months ago and he is ready to leave the name that stuck was Julian, my whole family loves the name and i think they may have "played it out" i could write a loong list of names that i absolutely love (i have done it more than once) and give it to him and he will deny every single name on that list. he just doesnt like boy names. he wanted a girl soo bad, before we knew the gender, we had a name already picked out for her. when we found out we are having a boy, he was devastated, he dident even want to think of boy names until we found out it was a boy. then for a few weeks after he still dident want to talk about it. now we are 3 months away and still the baby remains nameless (which makes it harder to talk to him if he doesnt have a name ) Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 the name that stuck was Julian Yikes, I'd object too in your H's place. Of course, I'm the guy who wanted to name one of our sons "Maximillian" so I could shorten it to "Max". "Genghis" was totally a non-starter. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 He was DEVASTATED to find out that the baby was a boy? How immature. It is fine to wish for one sex or the other and maybe be a little disappointed for a short time, but actual devastation? Sounds like you need to tell him to sign away his rights since the child is not the girl he just has to have. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Wait to see his face and let him tell you what his name is. I know that sounds dumb, but its worked for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Even if you don't stay with your husband, the child is still his as much as yours, so he has the right to have some input regarding its name. You each need to make a list of names and choose something that may not be your first choice but which you both agree on. Maybe you could let him choose the middle name and suname if you can choose the first name? Link to post Share on other sites
Lipsy10 Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 I think every couple goes through this. My little girl was 2 weeks old before she had a name. At the end of the day you've been very reasonable with your husband. You don't need this stress right now. Give him a list of 5-10 names you like and tell him straight - pick one or I will. And mean it, don't let him bully you. i only have 3 months until the baby is born. its almost like he has put NO effort in looking for a name :/ and he has to sign the papers too. i dont want drama while im still in the hospital...especially right after giving birth. this is my first time, i dont want to stress more than i already am...its the last thing i need. If he starts trouble in the hospital get security to remove him.... as for signing papers, he can't stop you from naming your child even if he is the father. On a side note - "devastated" because your having a boy!! He seriously needs to grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xomissraddox Posted August 24, 2010 Author Share Posted August 24, 2010 Julian was his pick. i wasent fond of it when he brought it up, but after some time i started loving the name! i had made soo many lists and given them to him. he said he likes Carson now...then he brought up Gene...i dont like those names. i wanted something along the lines of Anthony (Tony), Kevin, Ty (Tyler), and Cameron. i really dont know why but he shot down all those names. Those were my most favorite :/ Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Well, duh! That is WHY he struck them down. You are fighting, after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xomissraddox Posted August 25, 2010 Author Share Posted August 25, 2010 even when we werent having issues he was doing this. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 since my husband and i may not last, would it be better if i just named my son what i want, and completely disregard anything he say about not liking it? or should i just stick with the name that stuck(but then again he decided he doesnt like it that much anymore)? its your baby and your call Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 He was DEVASTATED to find out that the baby was a boy? How immature. It is fine to wish for one sex or the other and maybe be a little disappointed for a short time, but actual devastation? Sounds like you need to tell him to sign away his rights since the child is not the girl he just has to have. not a bad idea Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 Julian was his pick. i wasent fond of it when he brought it up, but after some time i started loving the name! i had made soo many lists and given them to him. he said he likes Carson now...then he brought up Gene...i dont like those names. i wanted something along the lines of Anthony (Tony), Kevin, Ty (Tyler), and Cameron. i really dont know why but he shot down all those names. Those were my most favorite :/ I have to admit I don't even care for yours or his baby names. You have three months to get it together. Pick a nice stately BOY's name. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xomissraddox Posted August 25, 2010 Author Share Posted August 25, 2010 not a bad idea He was DEVASTATED to find out that the baby was a boy? How immature. It is fine to wish for one sex or the other and maybe be a little disappointed for a short time, but actual devastation? Sounds like you need to tell him to sign away his rights since the child is not the girl he just has to have. he already had a daughter, from a previous relationship. honestly 2 girls=bad news. i know first handedly growing up with my sister Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted August 25, 2010 Share Posted August 25, 2010 I would use the name Julian (which your husband first chose) perhaps as a middle name, and then make a list of ten names that go well with Julian, names you don't already know your husband hates. Tell him he has veto power over SEVEN names. When the baby is born, take a good look at him, get to know him a little bit, and then choose which of the three names left fit him best. When our son was born, we had a list of five names...it only took an hour for us to realize that only one of the five really suited him. In the meantime, ask your husband to agree not to make any rash decisions while emotions are running high during the pregnancy, and consider going into marriage counseling if you want to salvage this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xomissraddox Posted August 25, 2010 Author Share Posted August 25, 2010 consider going into marriage counseling if you want to salvage this relationship i brought up marriage counseling, he refuses to go to any kind of therapy. he says it doesnt work. but for now, i guess i will just have to wait until the baby is born to see what name suits him best. i am just worried that we wont agree on anything when the time comes :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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