Females more natural ability than Males for relationship breakup recovery?

[jester]

I'm with you, pink. And I'm a guy. You got me pegged.

[dario]

All from personal experience....the woman have always moved on with greater ease. Even within three days to a week. Just like to think I'm not weak by a continued suffering....I just fall with these matters.

[No longer naive]

"If a woman breaks up with a guy, she is usually pretty much over it by then. Most women are very skilled at systematically disbonding from a partner while still in a relationship. The male, being extremely stupid, does not respond to her pleas for improvements in the relationship over a period of time. When she is resolved that there will be no improvements made, she begins to slowly give up and at the same time resolve herself to the fact that the relationship will eventually end. Gradually she pulls away, all the while the ignorant male thinks things are just fine. Then, one day, she makes the announcement that she is out of there.

 

The greatest pain she has gone through was IN the relationship, not afterwards. By the time she is ready to leave, she is usually 90 percent over it.

 

Females who go through greater pain are the ones who get dumped on or who are the dumpee rather than the dumper. "

 

I can say that the first 2 paragraphs were true for my marriage. I tried to make it work for a very long time and eventually began to give up - more subconsciously than consciously. I think you begin to emotionally protect yourself.

 

That is when you are vulnerable to affairs. In my case, the greater pain occurred when the "other man" left me. Somehow I didn't see it coming.

 

Is it possible that how and whether you get over a relationship break might depend on if you knew it was likely to happen. Did the person that is suffering so much know that the breakup was on the horizon? I think human nature teaches us to withdraw a little emotionally when we know there are serious problems. I don't think that it has anything to do with gender. (My personal opinion.) I think men and women do have different coping mechanisms that we are comfortable with. Women usually have a strong support group, but the men I have known tend to have a "compartmentalizing" thought process. It's almost as if they just block it out.

 

I'm sure this is not true for all males and/or females. I have also seen women that cling tighter to their mate - almost obsessively - when things are ending. The pain they suffer is terrible.

 

When I read about all the pain and suffering that goes on, it just makes me want to "get over it all" because time here on earth is short enough without wasting it on things we can't change....I was happy enough before I knew him, I can be happy again.

[monkey]

Someone, said on this thread, i think Tony that over time in the relationship, the female sees that the changes required aren't changing & are hints are being ignored by the male, but if improvements are made after the seperation, is reconciliation more likely, especially if it was a medical reason causing it! I believe lack of proper communication can be a big cause with this, if a girl just watches that improvements aren't being made & her attachment to the relationship is wearing down, surely if this was brought into the open & talked about like adults, this could be resolved.

 

Pink Roses, don't downgrade all men, there are some sensitive caring guys out there that think of others before ourselves. I've cried rivers & my emotions are more in touch now than ever before, although before they were big

[moimeme]

but if improvements are made after the seperation

 

By then, as Tony suggested, it's usually too late. The emotional separation is complete and the relationship is ended. She likely tried for quite a while to fix it while she was still emotionally involved. Reread Tony's post. Whatever the cause or reason for the breakup, when it's over, it's over.

[monkey]

but if these things are brought out in the open & are talked about, instead of just being observed by the female & nothing being said, this could be talked over & be resolved, unless there's a motive behind it to purposely say nothing & therefore make the male unknowingly dig his own grave & finish it his self.

If the female is wanting to sort it out, then verbal action in an adult positive way should be made. It takes 2 to sort it out, not 1 watching the actions of the other & him not knowing whats on her mind pissing her off, communication is necessary, big time!!