Is he interested or am I just a friend?

[chickadee12345]

I've known this guy for years and him and my brother have become the best of friends. I have just recently started hanging out with him more often and getting to really know him. We hang out in a group, but the two of us end up sitting for hours getting in a deep conversation and I see a different sensitive side of him. Recently, he has opened up to me and told me what he desires in a relationship, asked what am I looking for in a man, what kind of wife do I want to be, what do I think love is, etc. He knows I have been recently hurt and is very protective of me with other men and says my ex will never find someone as great as me. He does flirt with me some, but he is a flirty guy (he flirts w other girls too when we go to the bar). When we do get drunk, he is very touchy-feely with me. He also asked if I was a virgin. He checks me out, smiles a lot at me. He always is looking out for me, trying to make me happy and laugh, cheers me up when I'm sad, and telling me I look amazing. However, he never calls me or asks me out on a date..but says he really enjoys hanging out with me and that I need to come over more often. I jokingly told him that we need to go out just the two of us to the bar and he said would love to go anytime. I don't think he knows I'm at all interested in him as I just started seeing him in a new light. All these mixed signals...does he see me as just a friend because the friendship between him and my brother is too great to risk it? Is he attracted/interested in me? And what I should I do?

[GooseChaser]

Well, relationship-wise, there are good and bad things happening here. I'll just start with the one big bad observation I saw: he's known you for "years" and he hasn't done anything to make a move. This on its own doesn't mean that he will never make a move; after all, you say that recently he has been taking more interest in you. Perhaps he has lost interest in some other women or is just seeing things in you that he likes as he gets to know you better.

 

In my opinion, he is definitely showing interest!

 

the two of us end up sitting for hours getting in a deep conversation and I see a different sensitive side of him

Keep doing this. Good sign.

Recently, he has opened up to me and told me what he desires in a relationship, asked what am I looking for in a man, what kind of wife do I want to be, what do I think love is, etc.

This is big! You say he's opening up to you, and particularly on the topic of love! Good sign! He even told you what he wants in a relationship! Now, think-- what did he say? Did any of the qualities he mentioned include ones that you have? If so, this is ANOTHER good sign.

He ... is very protective of me with other men and says my ex will never find someone as great as me.

This is good too.

He does flirt with me some, but he is a flirty guy (he flirts w other girls too when we go to the bar).

Don't be intimidated by this. It doesn't mean that he is uninterested in you. He is just showing you that you are not the only one he is considering, and that he has other options. This is something guys do to appear less needy, and hopefully be more attractive as well. If you really like him, make an effort to pull his attention away from the other women and bring it to yourself! Rather than getting intimidated, taking his flirting as encouragement that he has interest.

When we do get drunk, he is very touchy-feely with me. He also asked if I was a virgin.

More personal questions involving things involving relationships! By being touchy-feely he may be showing that he is sexually attracted to you. Good! Seems like he is less inhibited when he has had alcohol.

He checks me out, smiles a lot at me.

What is confusing about all of these signs! They're all good! AHHHHHH!

But seriously, this one is another big good sign!

He always is looking out for me, trying to make me happy and laugh, cheers me up when I'm sad, and telling me I look amazing.

THIS IS GOOD TOO! He is trying to build a bond, and is complimenting you! He is showing interest in you! GrarrrrgghhhhhHHHHH

However, he never calls me or asks me out on a date..but says he really enjoys hanging out with me and that I need to come over more often.

He wants to spend more time with you, but is possibly hesitant to ask you out. Remember, it makes guys nervous to ask people out too; they can be shy or cautious. Don't worry too much about the lack of calls just yet; you guys are just getting to know each other, and you're getting to talk in person. Maybe in the future, if you guys get closer, he will start to call you.

I jokingly told him that we need to go out just the two of us to the bar and he said would love to go anytime.

Good sign also. He wants to spend more time with you!

I don't think he knows I'm at all interested in him as I just started seeing him in a new light.

This could be true! This shows you what you need to do, then! He has given signs that he likes you, so please show your interest conclusively to him as well! Flirt with him! Touch his arm lightly every once in a while when you guys talk. Face toward him in your groups and maybe mirror him. Try to sit close to him. Show clearly that you enjoy your time with him. Smile and laugh! Continue to have good conversations with him. Send messages that give him a huge green light to make it easier for him to ask him out, if you are looking for him to do that.

Is he attracted/interested in me?

I think so. Very likely.

 

Where's the confusion here, again? I've seen messages that were much more "mixed" than this. There is a lack of action, but there are also many, many good signs here. Get encouragement from those good signs! He sounds like an interesting and smart guy. He's really taking his time and may be putting a lot of thought into his interest in you. Good luck.

[rechrachel]

Thank you for the information. Very helpful indeed.

 

Rachel

[smritipakar]

There are many thing due to that you can know that he love you or or he just a friend for that you have to talk with him about guys and make him jealous and if he feel jealous than he love you or told her that you love him.If he accept then go through or just be friend .