Ahhh! The Mistakes

[MKUNO]

So once i started writing this i immediately changed my mind, but it might be therapeutic, so i'll continue. I met this girl in January and immediately fell in love with her... she traveled for around 6 months and we talked the entire time she was gone. When she got back, we started dating and it was glorious. we never argued, rarely disagreed and never had even the hint of a problem until an jealous ex of mine, contacted the girl through facebook and convinced her i was cheating on her. i shrugged it off for the most part because i wasn't and she believed me. a week later however, she told me she was having doubts and didn't feel she could trust me. I thought she was being a little silly, but figured I'd give her space to realize that on her own. When she didn't realize it after about a week... i started to panic and did the unthinkable. i began to plead and beg. i know, i've read so many threads and post after the fact saying that's the number 1 no no.... but whatever, i did it... for a couple of weeks. the only response i got was a request to stop contacting her. which i did. i honestly believe we are MEANT to be together (as sappy as that sounds) and it's annoying because so much of it is a stupid misunderstanding. i think i'm living in fantasy land thought thinking she'd come back after all the pleading and begging, but we honestly had ZERO problems until the retarded ex came along.

 

I guess the best thing to do is to focus my attention elsewhere and allow her to realize there's no one better. i'm just a little worried at how much i may have shot myself in the foot.

 

that whole pleading/expressing your love thing pushing women farther away is really annoying. because most of the time, they want to know how much you love them and how much you care and what'd you do for them and the second it actually becomes relevant, it's the only thing they don't wanna hear. is it me or is that retarded?

 

 

ah, well, that's all i got... writing it down, did make me feel better though.

Edited August 26, 2010 by MKUNO
omissions

[USMCHokie]

i think i'm living in fantasy land thought thinking she'd come back after all the pleading and begging, but we honestly had ZERO problems until the retarded ex came along.

 

I often will consider this a red flag...no relationship is perfect, and by creating this illusion that your relationship is perfect, it only produces an impossible expectation and leads you to place the woman on a pedestal, as evidenced by this:

 

i honestly believe we are MEANT to be together (as sappy as that sounds)

 

 

I guess the best thing to do is to focus my attention elsewhere and allow her to realize there's no one better.

 

I fixed this.

[Don Ho]

I met this girl in January and immediately fell in love with her. That whole pleading/expressing your love thing pushing women farther away is really annoying. because most of the time, they want to know how much you love them and how much you care and what'd you do for them and the second it actually becomes relevant, it's the only thing they don't wanna hear. is it me or is that retarded?

 

1. You immediately fell in love? That was your FIRST mistake bro. That was not love, that was infatuation .... and the beginning of your downfall.

 

2. Oh really? No you got that one all arse backwards my friend. It NEVER matters to an Ex how YOU feel about THEM it only matters how THEY feel about YOU. I would say you're being retarded. And a pussy. That never makes a woman feel more attraction to you.

 

So don't be a tard. Go no contact. And I mean NO CONTACT. Do not be a pussy and chase her and profess your love. That WILL push her away and you will never have any future chance with her. Good luck.

[Hopelesslyforgotten]

I personally think right now, she just needs her space and do not contact her. Regain your independence and yourself again... and with everything going on, regain a clear head so when or if you do talk to her later on, you will be yourself again....without pure emotions leading your thinking.

 

In response to the whole expressing your love...I, as a woman, of course would love to hear how much I am wanted/love after a breakup....but not for weeks straight... but I definitely know how you feel about wanting to contact her...i think we've all done that or have felt the push to do so! But she is probably on emotion-overload right now and hasn't had the time to think clearly about everything.

 

Maybe when you feel yourself ready and you feel you have let enough time pass (and/or you still feel so strongly about this person), write her an email explaining the whole situation clearly.

 

But I think as of right now, Take some time to yourself and give her space..I definitely know this is easier said then done...and it sucks...but keep yourself occupied and focus on yourself.

 

 

Keep your head up!

[DustySaltus]

I'm doing the math here and it seems that you were only really together for about a month, correct? I think it was very early on in the game and when your ex came into the picture and spread some vindictive nonsense, it casts doubts in her head.

 

Someone who really wanted to make things work would stick by you through something like this. They would take things that your ex said with a grain of salt. My ex fiance emailed my boss and told him that I was going to leave him, just like I left her....I could've been out of a job, but because of the person I am he gave me the benefit of the doubt.

 

She didn't give you the benefit of the doubt. Your best response to that is no response.

[DustySaltus]

I often will consider this a red flag...no relationship is perfect, and by creating this illusion that your relationship is perfect, it only produces an impossible expectation and leads you to place the woman on a pedestal, as evidenced by this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I fixed this.

 

GTL We got a situation...