I am sinking, fiance left...i think, do not know what to do

[castles_blue]

after three and a half year, passionate relationship and being engaged for three months my girl called me on the phone and told me that she was going to be staying at her mothers for that night or so. The next day she told me begrudgingly that she would be coming to get the rest of her things, that "something was missing, I don't know" The night before she left we were laughing wildly as I entertained her and she told me I was the best boyfriend ever. I am 29 and she is 24 by the way

 

I remained calm, no breakdown because I know that is not what you do and expressed with words that i was sad, but talked cordially to her and even reminsced about old times and possible future ones. she was happy to engage in the conversation. we agreed to meet three days later to say goodbye and to get something off of my chest, she agreed. I did not communicate to her until then. The day we were supposed to meet her mother came to the place and took all of her clothing out of the apartment.

 

We met for dinner, and talked happily, with a few moments of tearing up and many moments of doing the "little things" that we both loved about one another. As dinner ended we walked to the cars and I said "I guess this is it" we hugged and then kissed passionately and held each other tight. She got in her car and she was crying hysterically, almost across the seats. She kissed em again and said I was the most wonderful man in the world. She drove off and almost wrecked, never letting me leave her vision.

 

I went home that night and was sad but calm. She called me an hour later and could barely speak. The phone cut out briefly and she screamed "where are you, where are you". I calmed her and we talked about the future and our past, she spoke of getting married to me and our wedding day. I oarted from the phine with her only for her to call me back an hour later, stating, "i was just calling to see if you were asleep" and we talked sme more. She confessed she hated her job, which I had told her made her miserable and she had denied. she used to come from there miserable, and get miserbale when she left the apartment.

 

 

She also called the next night, great conversation, if you were a fly on the wall you would say that it was just more of the fairytale love story that we had. After these two night, each day was followed by e-mail kind of contradicting what she had said on the phone. After reading thse, I made my communication scarce. I did call toward the edn of the month to ask her abut the rent she owed. she told me that she will pay her end of the lease since the place we moved inot was based onthe both of us.

 

I asked what day of the month are you gong to send it going forward? she said she would juts pay it all in one lump sum and drop it off the next day. She also said the she and her mother would come by on sunday for the rest of her stuff....a tv, a gorgeous comforter, a ton of kitchen stuff, photo albums of her friends, a fur coat and four winter coats. She asked me to check storage for anything else. Sadly I packed all of ths sentimental stuff into a box her mother had left and set it in the center of the room, highlighted by a painting I had done of her.

 

Thursday came and she went to eh place while I was not there, left a check for only February, stating February rent going back on her lump sum payment, took her her bottle of jergens and some books her aunt gave her. walked past everything else.

 

Sunday came and they never showed for the stuff. That was over four weeks ago. In that time I have stayed very scarce, never calling her even after al of the phone calls were great. sent her an e-card every week, but kept them upbeat telling her some of the things that I held dear that she never knew of. she never replied, but read everyone. they were not written looking for a reply.

 

In this time apart, I did realize that I was not the man I had been to her, because of the death of my grandmother and my grandfather ina very short time period. I realized that I was not giving her the love I usually did. As this happened in December and January, I found out form my sister that she admitted to her at X-mas that she hated her job and felt trapped because her Mother's boyfriend owned the company. I feel that I failed her when she needed me the most. I would guess that the thing that was missing was me.

 

I did compose an eight page letter telling her of what was going on with my grief and its suppression. I want to giv eti to her, but fear it violates the "no contact" rule. On top of that, i do not even know what to think of the situation...is her stuff still there because she just has not come around to it, or is she thinking things out? If she is thinking things out, do I stand down and free of her? she alwasy liked being chased....back when we were e-mailing after the split my e-,ail got cut off in regards to my weekend plans, she replied, "it was cut off, I am dying of suspence, What are you going to do, resuce me?"

 

any thoughts, I hav ebeen reading your posts for a week or so and felt a great deal of help. I thought I would ask and then contribute of course. Thank you all and God bless you, we are in troubled times, but remember...every second is a chance to turn it all around.

 

so should I drive her license over to her and drop off the letter and a painting i did for her for valentines and leave? should i jut sleave it with the rest of her stuff for when she eventually comes to get it. He rnot picking up the rest of her stuff is very,very unlike her. She always liked to be romanced and asked me if I was going to "rescue her", maybe the gesture of the letter and the painting. One last thing, after we split, she called on the phone and asked me to runaway wth her

[ladyangel]

This whole thing sounds very bizarre. In regards to the question you asked, I would choose the option of "drive her license over to her and drop off the letter and a painting i did for her for valentines and leave" of I were you. Let us know how it goes.

[KitWalker]

Castles_Blue, you're a carbon copy of my situation, check back on my "Can I get her Back" part 1 and 2.... it may help, it may not?