angel Posted July 23, 2000 Share Posted July 23, 2000 I can not communicate with my boyfriend very well at all we really love each other i know we do we are both just really stubborn and have really storn opnions and values .. how can we stop all this fighting.. <e-mail address removed> Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 23, 2000 Share Posted July 23, 2000 If you respect each other and become more mature, there is no need for more than constructive disagreements. In the sceme of things, it is entirely unimportant to be right. Mature people do not insist on getting their way all the time. You can stop fighting by sitting calmly and agreeing to begin the communication you say you do not have. You need to agree to a pact whereby each of you listens to the other's thoughts and feelings and you lovingly accept, respect and honor those without judgement or criticism. If you must fight, learn to do it properly, fairly, and according to preset rules. Why expend the energy if you get nothing resolved? There is nothing wrong with being passionate about your opinions and values. But if the two of you have that many clashes, you may be wholly imcompatible with each other. Most rational people seek out mates who in a reasonable way share their life philosophy and views on a majority of matters. I urge you to come to agreements on the critical issues of marriage, finances, children, religion, spirituality, etc. before you EVER think of marriage. The two of you may have come from families where there was a great deal of chaos and, therefore, you thrive on heated arguments. If that be the case, then have at it. But I don't think that's the stuff of successful quality long term relationships. You can stop all the fighting my making a conscious decision to stop and by realizing how ineffective, counterproductive and insane you both are acting. Grow up! Link to post Share on other sites
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