Blinded by your feelings, how do you overcome it?

[Al]

I know we've all heard the expression "blinded by love." But what I want to know is how you overcome it and see the things that are really there. This is my problem: My boyfriend and I have been arguing quite a bit lately, like probably once every week this year so far. Sometimes they are big arguments and other times it's just a little disagreement. I have people tell me that they don't think we are meant to be together and that they can't see us lasting forever. Are they seeing what I'm not? I do love my boyfriend but lately I've been wondering when enough is enough. I mean if we argue this much now, won't it only get worse if we threw a house, children, etc. into the mix? My boyfriend is completely blinded by love and thinks we are going to be together forever and ever no matter what we talk about or fight about or whatever. And anytime I bring up the possibility of us not working out, he will have nothing of it. I, on the other hand, am beginning to have my doubts and when I hear people make comments about us, now instead of just blowing them off, I'm beginning to wonder what they see that I might not. How to I take my love blinders off and see what is really there? Is that even possible?

[corythosaurus]

It's hard to see the forest through all these trees.

 

Your family and freinds are outside looking in at your relationship. Trust what they see. It's hard to see when your in it.

 

Secondly, trust your gut. From what I've read in a couple of your posts, you have great instincts about things. Trust those, for more often than not, they're correct.

 

If you are arguing so much now, when you are supposed to be in the courting and wooing and dating stage, adding the real responsibilities is only going to add real pressures.

 

Go with your gut.

[lilbitcalifornIA]

I've certainly been there before...met a great guy under less than perfect circumstances...who decided that he wanted to talk about marriage. That got me hooked because it was the first time I'd ever really considered it. We were in a long distance relationship, so I would try to coax him out and he would always find some excuse and to everyone that heard about him, he WAS perfect but suddenly their thoughts of him changed because they were on the outside looking in...and they told me that he was going to hurt me. I didn't want to hear it because I was looking forward to the prize that supposedly awaited...walking down that aisle of fantasy with the man I "loved." What I found is that others usually listen more objectively than we think they do and they often see or hear things that we won't because we are the ones looking to "love" unconditionally. Big mistake. If you have even a shadow of doubt, it's usually right...especially after a long period of time like you say it's been happening. Yeah, couples argue, but it's supposed to strengthen your bond through communication and I don't think you should wait around to see what would happen if... If you can find nothing better to do than argue it's because you've lost direction in your relationship and no longer have the common ground you may have had earlier on. You're honestly best off turning that person loose and looking for someone who is able to see things in more than just their light. I've done exactly that, and I found someone who is more than willing to see both sides and work through things on a positive level. That's what it's all about.

[moimeme]

You differ on a very critical issue: one of you understands that marriage is work and that issues need to be dealt with. The other of you thinks that love conquers all. Unless something or someone can persuade your bf that love is great, but much more is needed for marriage (and I doubt this will be successful), then follow your instincts and those of everyone around you.