Is it impossible to find compatible people?

[bellatina]

I feel very sad. I am 27 years old and the only person I feel comfortable talking to is my husband.

 

I have a hard time connecting with people now, which is very unusual for me. I use to be able to bond with people quickly, but now I find it almost impossible to find people who are really compatible. I don't know if I have become too picky or if it is the crazy pace of NY city that makes people feel so superficial.

 

I crave meaningful friendships. I have out grown my friendships from college. The few people that I socialise with only call or ask to see me when they need support. I work providing people with emotional support (I am a rape crisis counselor). I would love for someone to listen to me for once. I feel drained.

 

 

Advise and comments are welcome.... are you in the same page?

[moimeme]

I hear you. I haven't a lot of patience for superficial relationships. It's fine to deal on that level for the purposes of parties or brief gatherings, but after a while I crave substance. And, yes, it can be very difficult to find likemindeds with whom you can enjoy deeper connections.

 

Are you able to befriend your peers? Is there an associaton for counsellors in your line of work where you could meet colleagues who probably also need support and might provide a source of more meaningful friendships?

 

You might try poking around the 'net to see if there are any philosophy societies or salons of some sort in your vicinty. I should think there have to be some in NYC.

 

It's a thorny problem and one I've wrestled with for a long time. I've had the good fortune of late to find a new such friend and I treasure this person. Given that such folks are seemingly all too rare, it sure is a blessing to find one!

 

If I come up with any more ideas, I'll let you know!

[Arabess]

I know what you mean. I work around almost ALL men. The only females I even converse with are those I've met online....no joke. I have male friends, but that wouldn't work as well if I were married.

 

Moimeme is right.....maybe you could join a club or meet some women on a local chat site.

 

Good Luck!

[bellatina]

Thanks for your comments.

 

I have a hard time connecting with my peers because in this field there are a lot of women who have very negative opinions of man... who can blame them after everything we see and hear.....they also generalized behaviors and see everyone as a potential rapist.

 

I really don't want that in my personal life. i wnat intelligent, funny people, who are kind hearted, and challenge me intellectually. I have that in my husband, but no one else. I would love to find a female role model.