deb89 Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 I'm new here and I'm somewhat confused. I have a guy friend that is married. (I am too) Lately while we've been working out (we go to the same gym) he's been complaining how he's not happy in his marriage and is bored. He asked me for some advice. I'm trying to help him and be supportive. When I'm online, he'll IM me and we'll chat about things. I found out two weeks ago that he just ended a six month affair with someone. I told him that I too had an affair. He begged me not to tell anyone and I told him I wouldn't. We do flirt back and forth. I guess my confusion is: Does he just want my advice or is he "looking" for something else? My best friend told me he wouldn't IM me if he wasn't interested or tell me about the affair. None of his guys friends know about it. What do you all think? Link to post Share on other sites
Don Ho Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 He could be looking for something else ... a new OW. Sounds like you're looking for a new OM. If both you guys have cheated with others and you're flirting, why don't you both just get separated and/or divorced instead of being totally dishonest with your spouses (regardless of what happens with the two of you). Or I guess you can go ahead and bang each other as much as possible and be prepared when one of you gets caught or it comes out and it all blows up into a big mess. If your husband or marriage is that bad, maybe you should have some character and just end it. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 If u flirt,and if he thinks u r attractive enough physically to ... be with intimately, then i would say trust your instincts; if u have that chemestry where u KNOW he would take things further if u let him, chances r, you r probably right..... He would if you let him, and presented him with the opportunity. He is married, so do the right thing.. i would just be honest and be like " yeah, i sense you would act if something were to happen, and we had a few drinsk together, so i want u to know that I respect your wifes feelings, and would not go there with you". Or, perhaps it sounds better to say something like " Listen, juist because we have both had affairs, does not mean we should repeat things"... If a guy is really in love with a girl, to be honest, I find it a little ... off, for them to be complaining about a boring relationship to another female friend. I would not like it if a partner were to do that to me.. I would prefer them to tell me, not their friends... Link to post Share on other sites
Author deb89 Posted August 29, 2010 Author Share Posted August 29, 2010 We're both married but we are JUST friends. He only IM's me when I'm online. (We never call each other or anything) He has ALOT of feelings for his OW and he's confused. He's not sure if he wants to be with her (he stopped all contact w/ her) or his wife. He hasn't talked about it (so he says) to his male buddies. I was just wondering if he wants JUST my advice or my advice AND something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Don Ho Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 Gee. Let me get out my crystal ball. LOL. If he's such a friend, why don't you just ask him straight up? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 I guess you'd be ok with your husband flirting or sleeping with other women then? This bloke is probably looking for some fun outside of his marriage cos he can't be bothered to work at his marriage. Maybe the bigger question is; are YOU looking for more than friendship? If you are then maybe you should leave your husband before you cheat on him again. You need to ask this bloke outright if he is sniffing around for another affair before you cheat on your spouses again. I don't get why anyone bothers getting married if they're just gonna cheat, am I missing something here?! I haven't been cheated on, well I was years ago but not by anyone significant, it would have devastated me if my ex had cheated on me in the 18 years we were together, but he wouldn't have done and I wouldn't on him because we had love and respect for each other and had no need to look for sex or love (or whatever cheaters are looking for) outside of our relationship. I dunno, it just got to me you're talking in a blase way about cheating, ugh. If a person isn't happy with someone (talking mostly about this man you talk to cos you haven't implied you want to cheat again) leave them if you're not prepared to work at it, or if you don't really want to be with them. I'm new here and I'm somewhat confused. I have a guy friend that is married. (I am too) Lately while we've been working out (we go to the same gym) he's been complaining how he's not happy in his marriage and is bored. He asked me for some advice. I'm trying to help him and be supportive. When I'm online, he'll IM me and we'll chat about things. I found out two weeks ago that he just ended a six month affair with someone. I told him that I too had an affair. He begged me not to tell anyone and I told him I wouldn't. We do flirt back and forth. I guess my confusion is: Does he just want my advice or is he "looking" for something else? My best friend told me he wouldn't IM me if he wasn't interested or tell me about the affair. None of his guys friends know about it. What do you all think? Link to post Share on other sites
abeja_reina_1989 Posted September 9, 2010 Share Posted September 9, 2010 To me, it sounds like he's testing the water and trying to see if you're the type of person to have an affair with him. I say, keep as far away from him as possible. Seriously. He's trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
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