does my best friend/fwb want to be my boyfriend? how do we both get over our exes?

[zz11]

my best guy friend and i got out of 3-5 year long relationships around the same time, and jumped into a FWB situation with each other. i know it wasn't the best decision, but we have ALWAYS had chemistry so it felt natural. we both agreed that we weren't looking for something serious, because i couldn't imagine getting into another real relationship so soon since my last was a disaster, and neither could he.

 

now it's 4 months since we started our FWB, and we are together about 6 days a week, he pays for everything without me asking, he isn't talking to any other girls, he always asks me to stay at his house (sometimes we don't even have sex, just to sleep together) and he holds my hand/kisses me all the time. i guess this qualifies as actual dating, even though we didn't really plan on it? i know FWB is supposed to be all action, and here he is treating me like a gf.

 

also, i was joking around singing one day and he said, "it's like i'm dating a real singer" but i just kinda pretended like i didn't hear it because i didn't know how to react since i know we had agreed to not being in a real relationship...

 

he gives off vibes that he really likes me, but at the same time i know he's not over his ex, and i have some problems with mine as well. how do we both get over our exes? it's bad enough when one person has to, but it's both of us! also, what are some things i can do to let him know i'll accept a new relationship with him if he wants it? he's kinda shy, and his self-esteem isn't really the highest, so i doubt he will ever truly initiate it...

[Don Ho]

he gives off vibes that he really likes me, but at the same time i know he's not over his ex, and i have some problems with mine as well. how do we both get over our exes? it's bad enough when one person has to, but it's both of us! also, what are some things i can do to let him know i'll accept a new relationship with him if he wants it? he's kinda shy, and his self-esteem isn't really the highest, so i doubt he will ever truly initiate it...

 

Ummmm. Sounds like you are both getting over it. DO NOT say anything about a relationship unless you want to risk fcking it up. Just KEEP hanging together and just keep going with the flow. Why does everyone have to TALK about that stuff and LABEL situations? WTF? Keep your mouth shut. Enjoy. Keep on cruising along. It will all work out one way or another in due time. If he brings it up, change the subject!!

[zz11]

Ummmm. Sounds like you are both getting over it. DO NOT say anything about a relationship unless you want to risk fcking it up. Just KEEP hanging together and just keep going with the flow. Why does everyone have to TALK about that stuff and LABEL situations? WTF? Keep your mouth shut. Enjoy. Keep on cruising along. It will all work out one way or another in due time. If he brings it up, change the subject!!

 

yeah i'm not desperate for a label here or anything, i'm fine going with the flow for now. i just don't want him to feel like i'm not responding to his hints, and make him feel rejected or something.

[Don Ho]

I wouldn't worry about that. His actions show otherwise and so do yours. Besides, I think it's likely to scare him off if you guys get into that discussion. That's why I said if he brings it up, just say something like "oh baby, we'll have plenty of time to discuss that later. So, where are we going tonite?". Be sure YOU don't bring it up at all. Keep OFF that subject. Trust me. Chill. Go with the flow.