greyskies Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 I hope Im not counting my chickens before they are hatched. But my ex came by about 7 days ago and we spent the past week talking through some major problem I was having with my very best friend and I was very upset and he gave me such great advice and I am so glad he came over cause guess what? We are going to start dating again. He has been such a sweetheart for the past few days. Running arrands for me and helping me pack cause Im moving out of my best friends old house. And going to live with my brother. Whom I get along with really well. And him and I are really excited about living together. His wife adores me too. But yea I am all giddy like a school girl who was just asked by the finest guy in school to carry my book for me. He left me a couple of little messeges in hidden places. Like on my welcome screen on my cell he left me one and then when he left there was one on my desk. with three lottery tickets. That is the man I fell in love with. He's back and I am crying my eyes out right now. Because I wanted nothing more then to be right where I am right now. Well Good Luck to all you hopeful ladies and men whom are just waiting around wondering if it ever happens. Well Im living proof that it can, not often but it can. YES! Link to post Share on other sites
KitWalker Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 Greyskies, soon you'll be changing to blueskies Just wondering, I have a bad memory!, but who broke up with who initially??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author greyskies Posted February 19, 2004 Author Share Posted February 19, 2004 Originally posted by KitWalker Greyskies, soon you'll be changing to blueskies Just wondering, I have a bad memory!, but who broke up with who initially??? He broke up with me because he was being accused of cheating every time he walked out the door and lying and I did't trust him only because every guy I had been with prior to him had been losers. He went through a lot of my bull crap before he said I cant take this anymore and walked away in tears. It tore my heart out and thats when I joined LS. And I was really messed up but people here and on other sites have helped me to understand that not all men are alike. And he has proven that to me time and time again. But I totally trust him now but I don't think he was convinced that he could trust me then. Not to hurt him in the same way again. So we were very scared but seeing each other during our break up and trying to be friends but couldn't keep our hands off of each other the passion is very intense between us. And the love and understanding is obviously there still. Link to post Share on other sites
KitWalker Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 WOW! Great stuff! You have any more details on how long you were apart for, what u did whilst u were apart? Did you contact him??? Did you think that u werent going to get back? Did you get on with your life? Any advice to those of us who are still apart from our loved ones? Link to post Share on other sites
Author greyskies Posted February 19, 2004 Author Share Posted February 19, 2004 Originally posted by KitWalker WOW! Great stuff! You have any more details on how long you were apart for, what u did whilst u were apart? Did you contact him??? Did you think that u werent going to get back? Did you get on with your life? Any advice to those of us who are still apart from our loved ones? I dont really have any advice, because I dont want to tell somebody something that worked for me that wouldnt work for them and maybe ruin their chances of getting their loved one back. But what did work for me, because I knew what he wanted in a partner, after the fact of us breaking up he revealed it to me. He was basically not a cheater in any sence of the word so when I was badgering him with accusations everyday it was painful for him. He never let me see that it hurt him so I was unaware of the pain I was causing him. Then his mom asked me to come over and help her with something and we started talking and she told me. "You know he really must love you still." Im like "but hes very cold to me and mean when we do see each other." She said "The reason I know is because when ever he has had a break-up with anyone else in the past he would for no reason what-so-ever have contact with that person." I was like really shocked to hear this and said "what do you think I should do then Momma's?" She didnt know. She didnt want to give me false hopes or anything. So I took it upon myself to just to be that person he discribed to me. Because that person was the person I was when we first met. Only then. Because we were friends for like 4 months before we actually got together and spent 85% of our time together then, we got to know one another pretty well and we had so much fun. I really liked him a lot but didnt let him know that, then one day he kissed me and I was shocked cuz I didnt know he liked me either. Well from then on out we were inseperable. But I changed over night I became this frightened woman that thought this dude was gonna hurt me, or leave me, or use me, or abuse me, just like all the other men I had been with. It was such an awful feeling I was truly frightened of the pain I was gonna feel when he did this to me and I basically sabotoged my relationship. I falsely accused him of everything under the sun called him names and treated him so badly it was unbeleiveable. I cant believe he stuck around so long. I cant beleive hes with me now cuz I certainly dont deserve him after that. But he knew that I had been through some very bad thing in my childhood and my relationships with other men as well. He says he knew I was an awesome person other wise and wanted to help me. So he put up with it as long as he could but it started to take a toll on his selfworth etc so he said its over and left. During this time I cried day in and day out. He was worried about me and would drop by to get something of his. I tried to be a hard ass and say just take everything so I dont have to see you. He wouldnt, I didnt understand why then but do now. So he would come over now and again and say he needed this or that and a few times we had make love and cried and I would say please give me another chance. But he wouldnt budge. I just stayed home the intire time. We were apart like 4 months. But seen each other a lot for being broke up. Then recently I met this really nice guy online whom lived near me and even knew some of my friends. And I called my friends to make sure he wasnt like some werido. And they said he was a sweetheart so he came over to meet me in person. Well a few days later my ex had came by and was fixing my computer and the guy I met stopped by to drop off a pager he had for me. And when my ex seen him he didnt say anything at first acted like its all good. But refused to let me out of his sight for like seven days. Well in those seven days we talked and talked. And we didnt like say okay were going to try this again. I know my bf and for him to say certain things I know thats what he means. Men they have such a hard time expressing what they want to really say, so they say it in other ways. But thats the whole story. So far everything is turning out great. We are not gonna like live together again were gonna take it slow. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Greyskies, it's so heartlifting to hear your story, when you first broke up, was he adamant that that was it & no going back. I wish my s/o thought like you & that me being caring & always there for her, this anxiety problem pushed her away, but that wasn't me & i'm on the way to recovery. She says that we won't ever be together again, but she said this in a time when she was angry with me for pushing her. I'm in a way ironing out my bad points & making myself more into the person she likes, not just for her, for me too because i know she is right. I too have cried many rivers & can't seem to function properly, i see things that remind me of her & turn on the radio & hear songs that were meaningfull to us, i feel you were bound to eventualy get back, i mean you had sex whilst you were seperated, is it me or do people split because they no longer get on, so if they don't get on, why would they find themselves in a "sex" situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greyskies Posted February 29, 2004 Author Share Posted February 29, 2004 Sometimes it is just the sex, and basically I feel that it is just that, the sex. I love him so much and there isnt anything I would'nt do for him. Including just sex. But I do it with love and if the love was'nt there I would never give him that no matter what. I do believe he is still in love with me, but very scared that I will hurt him again. He has still been around me everyday. I don't know if its like we are back together or what. If I ask him any kind of questions, he says "Were not together so you have no right to ask me these things." So that tells me we are not. But he and I see each other or talk to each other every single day. And its not just me who is doing the contacting. If I dont call him, he calls me. I hope that you will understand that what is happening for me is great, and I am still very hopeful that in the long run we will become as one again. I am lucky to have him in my life at all so yeah. But what works for me may not work for you so don't try to do what I did, but what you know will work. But I can almost garantee if you don't try to see her contact her in any way, she will come around. Try it, see when we are up our partners a** all the time its a turn off, a drag, makes them think "Get off my leg you pest." Humans just dont want what they know they can have. Good luck Monkey. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted February 29, 2004 Share Posted February 29, 2004 Thanks greyskies, im writing this at a time i miss her so & wonder what she's doing & i can't find out or i'll mess it up, if there is anything to mess up! I'm just so used to sharing all with her, my existance is hers & hers mine because we in my mind are still together, i can't change this, because i done nothing wrong. i jus thought she would love me more for doing everything to get better thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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