made an idiot out of myself

[Green]

Look he obviously undressed you with his eyes and enjoyed the thought of your nude body. He probably entertained thoughts of touching you and putting you through a very different work out then the kind you do at the gym... In the end he never pulled the trigger and asked you out... there could be a million different reasons for it... My guess he's scared of his sexual desire for you. To a young inexperienced man the feelings of wanting to rip a girls clothes off and do dirty things to her can some times be overwhelming... theres a real disconect and they don't know how to do simple things like even KISS with out feeling that over whelming lust for a beautiful young girl like yourself. My advice is just be happy and some guy will probably ask you out soon... a guy who is nice and treats you right

[Leigh 87]

GREEN - um, I WISH he thought all those things about me. I thought that there was no WAY that a good looking guy like him would have a desire for my body!

 

I would be thrilled if he did have any thoughts about my body, such as those you suggested. But seriously? 2 txts scared him off? WTF?

 

I am so sad. I have just moved towns, so wtf AM I meant to do? WAIT around for a guy to make all the bloody moves? Ignore them until THEY ask me out? I could be sitting around for MONTHS.

 

I cannot wait for that connection any longer. It has been f*cking 3 years of isolation. I have had friends along the way, but I never felt sexy in my body cos I was ill.

 

It has been over 2 mnths and so far no one in this town has made a move, male nor female. There is nothing wrong with me. I talk to people just fine. In fact, I ask a lot about others and people LIKE talking with me.

 

THIS SUCKS. It is causing me quiet bad depression. Because I hasve the rest of my life together, but with no ppl in it.

 

I cry so much every day. I am no model, but I am way more attractive and smarter, more interesting, and way nicer then SO MANY women who HAVE sexual partners, and friends, and guys who r interested in them.

 

If fatter, uglier, meaner, and less interestin ppl get guys and sex and a social life WHY cant I, it is so not fair.

 

I do not deserve to feel this depressed. hmmph. This guy can go jump any ways - lol, for giving me silly compliments and making me think he thought I was worth getting to know....

 

..... and then being scared off cos of a simple text.

 

I txted last night, and he has still not txed back the following night.

 

If I jumped off a bridge I bet ppl would think " gee, what a waste". well HELLO it is YOUR FAULT ppl for leaving an awsome person alone.

 

life sucks. I want sex. but I think too highly of myself to resort to one night stands, or having it with as person without a connection.

[Leigh 87]

and LOL - if this hot guy DID really visualize my body, he should have bloody acted on it, i mean GEEZ, over 4 yrs without sex SUCKS omg.

[Leigh 87]

AND I am not resorting to buying a sex toy either. I want to preserve myself down there and not get all gross. Plus I would never do that to myself cos it goes against what feels comfortable for me.

[Green]

just stop feeling sorry for yourself. You'll be fine your just a little intense with the threats of suicide and the 4 years with out love thing.

 

Once you find some love it will be like you always had it.

 

He wouldn't have comented you had a nice body or what ever if he didn't find you pretty.

 

Some guys are really unsmooth so don't worry about the fact that he never txted you back. He doesn't seem like a good guy.

 

CHEER UP! thats an order

[Leigh 87]

but I am just wonderinf about your opinion on the fact that: I texred him, he texted back. Then 2 days later I texted him, and he has not yet texted back.

 

I am not upset or looking desperatrly for THE answer,I am just curious about it.

 

He could be just not interested in texting back yet, but will next week when he is interested and feels like it. I mean, I texted cos i was bored and felt like it at the time, so he may just not have felt like texting me. Plain and simple.

 

I doubt one text turned him off. I did not ask to meet up w/ him in it or anything stalker- ish.

 

He knows I go to his gym and he works out every day so i doubt jhe will ignore me, seeing as he loves his job and would not want me to give him a bad rep. NOT that I would.

 

He was interested in my body, and I have not done anything freaky in my texts.

 

Any thoughts>?

 

Again, I am just intertested to know what others think. I have one friend in my life, Paul, who is a great friend, but cos I have just moved towns I have not found any one else close enough to ask such questions to.

 

I just like to know why ppl do things, and what the posssible reasons r, seeing as I do not think that I know EVERYthing haha.

 

I have moved on mnetally from this guy, I am looking fwd to meeting some one.But I still want to kno what has gone on.

 

logically, my text would have had to have been bad and suggetsed meeting or something to scare him of, right?

 

And I am not texting back or bothering with him until he bothers with me, so that seams pretty normal to me?

[vintagecat]

Still with the angst over this same guy: A text now and not a letter. Time to let it go.

 

You've done nothing wrong. You showed adequate interest for him to be comfortable in approaching you for more than just gym talk but he hasn't responded in the way that you would like him to and has left you hanging.

 

There are a number of reasons for this: An undisclosed lover, girlfriend or wife, he is gay, he is saving himself for marriage or significant relationship or he's just not that into you, hot or not.

 

Anything else that you do now without him making a move will risk going overboard. Pick out a new guy as potential partner. This one is unpromising and unlikely.

[Leigh 87]

Yes vintage, I know, but you cannot blame me for getting a little excited after 4 years of no sex life. This was the first person who said I was gorgeous and hot in a very, very long time, so of course it got my hopes up a bit.

 

And of course I am not bothering with him after this. I have given him adequate indicators that he can approach me without feeling silly about it, and if he chooses not to, it couldbe for a variety of reasons.

 

I am guessing that it is the more obvious one, of that he is just not that in to me, even though he finds my body appealing to some extent.

 

That is the most straight forward thing, He certainly gave the impression he was single and stuff, but who knows, he could be gay and was just trying with me to see varify it lol!

 

I have learnt my lesson, that no matter how lonley I am in my life, that I have to go on only relying on my own life to fulfill me, the way I have been for 4 years.

 

Without a single person in my life, other than my parents, their friends, and a few friends here and there over the years, I am now left 100% alone, with just my parents and family around me.

 

I just am sick of having a life that I otherwise like, besides having people in it to talk with. I just get SO BORED.

 

I do not want have to depend on my own company all. of. the time.

 

it is not that I do not like it and am needy - far from it. I HAVE depended onmyself and been quiet happy to do so for some time now.

 

I am just ready to start having other people in my life.

 

I am just so depressed every day having to be alone so often.

[Green]

why not try a dating site, those things are made for women.

[Leigh 87]

Well I just talked to my mum - she is one of those intelligent, successful, hard working people who is also very nice, and good at giving advice.

 

She could nto see anything wrong with: him giving me a free PT session; me texting him to thank him after: him texting me to tell me that we should hang next week: and then me texting him back a few days later, to tell him that I hope his nose has cleared up, and that I'll probably just catch up with him at the gym next week"

 

So far I cannot see anything very weird about what I have done.

 

I have come out of an eating disorder, and it is only now, after about 4 years, that i want to live life again. BEFORE this point, I was not in astate to be ready for a sex life of any sort. I was pretty a sexual.

 

So I guess Ijust have to use common sense. I am able to go to the gym whenever I want, so I should just improve my body as much as I can and work on looking and feeling great.

 

If I really am that awsome, people will make an effort to get to know me.

 

I just moved to a new place, it has been about 8 weeks, so I guess I cannot beat myself up for not just being able to go out and make friends and get a boydfriend right away.

 

After years, I am just looking fwd to that connection with some one, of a relationship.

 

With the trainer, I just got excited that he expressed some sort of interest in me, given the fact that I have had an eating disorder and have not been able to view myself as attractive for over 4 years.

Edited September 5, 2010 by Leigh 87
whatever

[Green]

well I agree with your mother. Stop being so hard on yourself.

[Leigh 87]

I have started a new thread, asking people on tips to carry myself, to attract people.

 

I havej ust moved towns and would like any advice on how to seam approachable and nice.

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me on this thread, I will update it if anything happens, but I am not expecting it to, and am just looking to get on with my life in my new home, and meet people.