longlegzs80 Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 I come to the conclusion that I am a very very odd person who needs and or is missing something out of life, because I met up with the guy who is very very into me tonight just to go out. And I called him as he was on his way back up here from Virginia and he wanted me to go out with him just to see him tonight. So, I did. But when we met up and went to Ruby Tuesdays I had a meal beforehand so I did not have anything and he felt bad that he was eatting and I wasn't, but seriously I was not hungry. Anywho, that is not why I am so weird. I don't know what is wrong with me, I can't really look this guy in the eye and make much eye contact. I get incredibly figidy with whatever is around and focus on that then him. I can't seem to get anything out either, like any opinions about anything or just have a normal conversation. I hate being weird. Like I am not normal whatsoever because I can't just have a normal conversation with a grown man. I can't imagine what he is thinking. I know he truely likes me, and I know I am developing feelings for him in a sense, but I can't seem to get over this nervousness, shyness thing. What's to do? Link to post Share on other sites
ladyangel Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 Like I said on the other thread, get counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 tahnks for your post longlegz!! it'll help me understand shy girls much better. there's really not much you can do to overcome your shyness w/some you have interest in. it's like the more you like someone the harder it is, because fear of rejection exists. that's why you dont wanna end up making a bad move on your part. shyness can be good and bad in a sense. it might mean hethinks you're ignoring him or has no interest, or he can sense you're shy cause you lke him....it works both ways with shy girls. i guess it's true that when shy girls like a guy, it's almost like they act the complete opposite(which are signals of uninterest)...which really means interest right longlegz? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 the no eye-contact is a problem, if a girl wont make eye contact with me, i dont think she is interested. and you are not weird. Link to post Share on other sites
HiDDeN PiGLeT Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 its nothing to be really troubled about in my opinion. i'm VERY VERY VERY STRANGE. ask darkangelism. its just shyness. it will pass. its human. everyone has their moments. i still do that sometimes, mostly cuz i have a b/f and i feel weird looking into another guys eyes unless its a friend that i'm talking to. i think its just a lil phobea of meeting new people and dating jitters. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 Sounds like self esteem/self confidence issues, not weirdness. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 i've been reading your posts for months. trust me, you should get counselling. it may take a few tries to find a good counsellor, but it'll be WELL worth it. just the fact that u'r been stuck with the same issues for a while shows that you need a lil bit of help figuring things out. i was in a very similar spot, and once i finally went for counselling, i wished i went earlier. i know you dislike this option but i think it's time to drop the stubborness. that's all from me, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 I know what you are going through. You are not weird at all, but have a very crippling shyness. I am very shy in public, even at checkout lines at stores. For me, this has a lot to do with my feelings about my appearance when I was an adolescent. You grow up to be an attractive person on the outside, but it's very hard to get past the ugly kid you believed yourself to be. I would really suggest some kind of counseling, because most shyness comes from poor self esteem and fear of rejection. Wouldn't you rather enjoy life and meet the people you want to, rather than hiding and watching other people have fun? In my case, I forced myself to go to concerts and other crowded places with my friends. If I saw a guy I was interested in, I went up to them. I'm still pretty shy, but you grow more confident when you realize that most people are willing to speak to you and be friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 My suggestion is to say whatever is on your mind. Talk about how you are at that time experiencing the situation that you are in if there is nothing else of which you can speak or concentrate on. Explain how you are shy and how you wish to change this. This may open doors to further conversation. I have little tolerance for a shy girl. I will go around, entertain and talk as much as I can, but eventually this grows old. If I cannot get a girl to talk to me I feel I have failed in some way. Be brave and start to talk. Talk about anything. He will listen. You have nothing to fear in this. Link to post Share on other sites
jester Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 The good news is that you're not stupid--you're bright, articulate and are capable of insight. The bad news is that you appear to have almost crippling shyness/self-confidence issues, which if not treated through a combination of counseling and medication(paxil?), could severely affect the quality of your social life. faux is right: most men, after a while, will stop seeing, or not become involved with, a woman who suffers from crippling shyness. It's just too much work, and the guy wonders if it's about him. Get this treated. Link to post Share on other sites
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