She did it...

[lilbunny]

I have so far stayed away from this topic for a variety of reasons. My view is this.

 

Suicide in general is a topic an awful lot of people find difficult to either relate to, or to deal with for a number of reasons. A suicide attempt that succeeds is discussed as a tragedy, in many cases those who fail are regarded as manipulative etc, often by those around them. Any attempt by someone to take their own life must be regarded as at the least a cry for help. A single event (like the breakdown of a relationship) does not cause this, otherwise everyone in those circumstances would do the same, there is an underlying cause that needs to be dealt with. Events merely act as triggers. This woman needs and deserves help and support.

 

At the same time, I can understand the posters who have highlighted the selfishness of this act with regards her children. It is, but again it is vital to try and understand the sorts of thought processes involved in these types of actions. The realisation of how this would have impacted on her children is an important part of the recovery process.

[Dexter Morgan]

I think it was very clearly partly a powerplay, though he disagrees. If someone threatens unless they get what they want, it usually is. I had a lot more respect for the woman he described before seeing how she has behaved.

 

it is a powerplay and shows that she has some issues she needs help with.

 

but I think you need a little more compassion here. could be her current state of mind is a result of the aftermath from her husband and you. Not saying you are responsible for her trying to commit suicide, but her current state of mind just may be the result of the devestation you helped to cause.

 

So how about just a little more respect for those who her husband, and to some degree you, mentally abused.

 

 

No matter how hard it is *shrug* Perhaps I'm being callous here, perhaps I need to be (and I am happy she survived) - but I am thankful at least now she is getting some damn help.

 

well you don't respect her, so why would you care?

 

 

Because that just isn't normal.

 

no its not, but she obviously has been through alot.

 

 

And I am pretty forgiving

 

what is there for you to be forgiving for in this situation.

 

now realize I'm trying to figure out what your story is and I went back to find out...so I'm assuming this is the wife of the MM you were with. If I'm wrong, I apologize. If not, then there you have it.

[Dexter Morgan]

how sad that this woman felt so alone, so adrift and so helpless that she would attempt this. i do not see it as an attempt to be manipulative; but as somene who is at the end of their rope and not knowing what the next day may bring.

 

i completely agree. too bad most people can't see that their lives aren't worth ending over a mentally abusive, lying cheater. On the contrary, IMO, most people should be celebrating that someone like OP would be taking a louse off their hands.

 

I hope the wife does get the help she needs and someone can make her realize her H isn't worth.........anything.

[TinaniT]

Some cruel responses, that is for sure.

 

I'm sure it would have been better for some if the W had been successful in her suicide attempt. Then she would have been out of the way and no longer interfering with true love. :rolleyes:

 

yes, you saw straight through me.

 

I wasn't disappointed at her trying but upset that she failed to abandon her children. That is very clearly what I was saying.

[Ellin]

I have so far stayed away from this topic for a variety of reasons. My view is this.

 

Suicide in general is a topic an awful lot of people find difficult to either relate to, or to deal with for a number of reasons. A suicide attempt that succeeds is discussed as a tragedy, in many cases those who fail are regarded as manipulative etc, often by those around them. Any attempt by someone to take their own life must be regarded as at the least a cry for help. A single event (like the breakdown of a relationship) does not cause this, otherwise everyone in those circumstances would do the same, there is an underlying cause that needs to be dealt with. Events merely act as triggers. This woman needs and deserves help and support.

 

At the same time, I can understand the posters who have highlighted the selfishness of this act with regards her children. It is, but again it is vital to try and understand the sorts of thought processes involved in these types of actions. The realisation of how this would have impacted on her children is an important part of the recovery process.

 

Of course she needs and deserves support, everyone does.

 

BUT in order for help to be given, it needs to be received and accepted, and from the info provided by the OP this woman seems to have resisted help so far.

 

I don't think anyone on this thread suggested that help and support should be denied to her or she should be punished or something.

 

That help, though, cannot mean her xH going back to her and OP encouraging him to do so, just because the xW attempted suicide (genuinely or not), since their M seems irrevocably broken and clearly not by one side only.

[Dexter Morgan]

Had the same thread been started by someone other than the OW, and the woman in questions identity as MW/OW had been the foremost label used in the OP then I believe we would have had a much different set of responses here from these oh so compassionate human beings.

 

wrong............

[jj33]

Tina how are you doing? Sadly your thread seems to have devolved into yet another fight, this time over the mindset of those who attempt suicide.

 

Hope you are doing OK.

[woinlove]

This topic hits a bit close to home as I came home from school, as a teen, to find my mother overdosed on pills. She survived. I cannot imagine thinking of her case as manipulation. She was obviously in bad shape emotionally and mentally. As to whether she timed it so that I would come home in time (as some suggestion has been made for this case discussed here) - I don't think she was in any mental shape to make that kind of rational decision. However, if some small part of her had doubts about dying and she unconsciously timed it because of those doubts -- well, I am grateful. After I knew she was going to live, I was so relieved that I actually came home in time and called the ambulance. What if I had been an hour or two later that day? I never experienced any anger. Only sadness and helplessness that I couldn't make her feel better. And relief that she lived. And fear at not understanding and worrying if she would do it again.

 

More generally, I feel extremely fortunate that I am able to handle life's tragedies without feeling I have to kill myself. Despite the parallels of pills and timing with school, I don't know if the case being discussed is like my mother's. But whenever I hear of anyone's attempted suicide, my reaction is the same - I'm sorry that someone is in such a terrible mental state and grateful that I have not experienced such a state myself.

 

I also can't help feeling that people who view attempted suicides as manipulation would be happier people if they felt more compassion for people who try to end their lives. Compassion for others who you do not know or who are not in your circle of love is a gift to yourself, not to them.

[lilbunny]

Of course she needs and deserves support, everyone does.

 

BUT in order for help to be given, it needs to be received and accepted, and from the info provided by the OP this woman seems to have resisted help so far.

 

I don't think anyone on this thread suggested that help and support should be denied to her or she should be punished or something.

 

That help, though, cannot mean her xH going back to her and OP encouraging him to do so, just because the xW attempted suicide (genuinely or not), since their M seems irrevocably broken and clearly not by one side only.

 

I wasn't suggesting that at all. I just gave my opinion on the situation without reference to anyone else.

I wanted to step away from the whole BS/AP discussion and speak more generally.

Many people with mental health issues find it difficult to accept professional help for a number of reasons and this in itself can be a long process. I am not suggesting that her xH should go back either, I agree totally with what you say.

[Ellin]

This topic hits a bit close to home as I came home from school, as a teen, to find my mother overdosed on pills. She survived. I cannot imagine thinking of her case as manipulation. She was obviously in bad shape emotionally and mentally. As to whether she timed it so that I would come home in time (as some suggestion has been made for this case discussed here) - I don't think she was in any mental shape to make that kind of rational decision. However, if some small part of her had doubts about dying and she unconsciously timed it because of those doubts -- well, I am grateful. After I knew she was going to live, I was so relieved that I actually came home in time and called the ambulance. What if I had been an hour or two later that day? I never experienced any anger. Only sadness and helplessness that I couldn't make her feel better. And relief that she lived. And fear at not understanding and worrying if she would do it again.

 

More generally, I feel extremely fortunate that I am able to handle life's tragedies without feeling I have to kill myself. Despite the parallels of pills and timing with school, I don't know if the case being discussed is like my mother's. But whenever I hear of anyone's attempted suicide, my reaction is the same - I'm sorry that someone is in such a terrible mental state and grateful that I have not experienced such a state myself.

 

I also can't help feeling that people who view attempted suicides as manipulation would be happier people if they felt more compassion for people who try to end their lives.

Sorry to hear you've been through that and I'm glad it ended well.

 

Of course everyone deserves compassion, help, support and all that and I don't think the OP is denying that but I think a suicide attempt CAN be a way of manipulating others and OP believes it can be the case here, based on what she knows about that person. I'm sure she is compassionate but she is in a situation where she has to steel herself so to speak.

Compassion for others who you do not know or who are not in your circle of love is a gift to yourself, not to them.

That's so beautiful.

[bentnotbroken]

I wasn't suggesting that at all. I just gave my opinion on the situation without reference to anyone else.

I wanted to step away from the whole BS/AP discussion and speak more generally.

Many people with mental health issues find it difficult to accept professional help for a number of reasons and this in itself can be a long process. I am not suggesting that her xH should go back either, I agree totally with what you say.

 

 

Exactly. There are a number of reasons. Several layers of things that one has to work through. I can only guess, but her OM moving on may have help to add to those overwhelming feelings. It appears that being alone is something she can't handle.

 

 

OP I never thought you showed malice toward her. I thought you showed anger and a lack of understanding. Anger at the situation in general and a lack of understanding of emotionally unbalanced mindset. You aren't alone in that lack of understanding. I know I felt the same way about my student's mom. How could a 25 year old woman leave 3 children behind for them to find her in the garage? I now know...more than I ever wanted to.

 

For me this thread wasn't about OW, BS or WS. It was about the lack of understanding(which is hard to do). I don't give a damn about who it was that decided their life wasn't worth living anymore? It was about the lack of...any way sorry for derailing your thread.

[alexandria35]

FA, people with Borderline Personality Disorder are notorious for suicide threats and suicide attempts as a means of manipulation and control. Sounds like your mother in law may have been suffering with this disorder, but obviously not all suicides are the result of a personality disorder. I think some people are truly just so lost and and so full of despair that they don't see another way out. This isn't an act of manipulation.

 

I too have been through some really tough times and suffered great emotional pain. I have never attempted nor even considered suicide as an option and I thank God for that. I don't feel superior or judgemental because I know that I am lucky. I'm not prone to depression, not even in a crisis and for that I am grateful. I don't believe that I fully understand the mindset of people that get to this poiint, and I don't believe that you understand it either, because if you did you would not be so cold and callous about it.

[Fallen Angel]

FA, people with Borderline Personality Disorder are notorious for suicide threats and suicide attempts as a means of manipulation and control. Sounds like your mother in law may have been suffering with this disorder, but obviously not all suicides are the result of a personality disorder. I think some people are truly just so lost and and so full of despair that they don't see another way out. This isn't an act of manipulation.

 

I too have been through some really tough times and suffered great emotional pain. I have never attempted nor even considered suicide as an option and I thank God for that. I don't feel superior or judgemental because I know that I am lucky. I'm not prone to depression, not even in a crisis and for that I am grateful. I don't believe that I fully understand the mindset of people that get to this poiint, and I don't believe that you understand it either, because if you did you would not be so cold and callous about it.

 

Then let me YET AGAIN reiterate, I completely understand the mindset having been there myself in the past, which is exactly why I can be so "cold and callous" about it. I know that the depression that gets you to that point is overwhelming, but I also know that the suicidal attempts are most often calculated and manipulative. *shrug*

 

We will have to agree to disagree, because I simply can not be swayed having lived through dealing with suicide and attempted suicide from several angles. As the one who felt compelled to take my own life, and as the family left behind to suffer, and as the mother and aunt of children who had to watch the slow suicidal death of their grandmother, and as the daughter who watched her own mother suffer the loss of her only sibling... etc etc ad nauseum.

 

I have had a fair bit of experience in this arena, and I can not find compassion for the woman in question. Think less of me because of it if you must, but there it is.

[Mimolicious]

People manipulate many other settings in their lives.

 

I didn't quiet get this...

 

I wasn't disappointed at her trying but upset that she failed to abandon her children. That is very clearly what I was saying.

 

 

If I am reading this correctly... ( I actually hope I am not. I was born a blond, so excuse being out to lunch right now).

[Fallen Angel]

People manipulate many other settings in their lives.

 

I didn't quiet get this...

 

 

 

If I am reading this correctly... ( I actually hope I am not. I was born a blond, so excuse being out to lunch right now).

 

She was being sarcastic about having been accused of wishing the stbxW had succeded in her suicide attempt.

[turnstone]

People manipulate many other settings in their lives.

That's very true. And not all manipulation is born out of maliciousness. When someone feels the only way to draw attention to themselves and their pain is to hurt themselves so drastically, I can't think that that is malicious.

 

I didn't quiet get this...

 

 

 

If I am reading this correctly... ( I actually hope I am not. I was born a blond, so excuse being out to lunch right now).

 

I think the OP was being sarcastic.

 

I find it extremely sad that something as serious as this, a suicide attempt, has been bought down to OW versus BS.

 

The thing I am having to keep in mind is that when one has personal experience of a loved one attempting suicide and hence one's opinion actually counting, it will be a lot kinder.

 

OP, I can see your frustration at the situation and how it maliciously manipulative it must feel. Its already been said, but worth repeating, if you can maintain a compassionate and supportive stance it'll pay dividends for all concerned.

 

Will the MM and children receive some sort of professional support through this?

[NoIDidn't]

More generally, I feel extremely fortunate that I am able to handle life's tragedies without feeling I have to kill myself. Despite the parallels of pills and timing with school, I don't know if the case being discussed is like my mother's. But whenever I hear of anyone's attempted suicide, my reaction is the same - I'm sorry that someone is in such a terrible mental state and grateful that I have not experienced such a state myself.

 

I also can't help feeling that people who view attempted suicides as manipulation would be happier people if they felt more compassion for people who try to end their lives. Compassion for others who you do not know or who are not in your circle of love is a gift to yourself, not to them.

 

OP I never thought you showed malice toward her. I thought you showed anger and a lack of understanding. Anger at the situation in general and a lack of understanding of emotionally unbalanced mindset. You aren't alone in that lack of understanding. I know I felt the same way about my student's mom. How could a 25 year old woman leave 3 children behind for them to find her in the garage? I now know...more than I ever wanted to.

 

For me this thread wasn't about OW, BS or WS. It was about the lack of understanding(which is hard to do). I don't give a damn about who it was that decided their life wasn't worth living anymore? It was about the lack of...any way sorry for derailing your thread.

 

I agree with the quoted above. For me, this woman's suicide attempt wasn't about what "side" I was on. It was about a woman who felt alone enough or overwhelmed enough in her life that suicide was thought of as a valid option.

 

The lack of compassion, the people that would actually withhold compassion and support from such a person don't seem to see how they contribute to the very real feelings of unimportance a person thinking of suicide is already having.

 

There is a lot of ignorance around suicide. I've loss much to it - a greatgrand parent, friends, a pastor... Suicide is the worst coping mechanism. Instead of trying to judge people as manipulators, it helps to use some compassion in finding out why they felt the need to end their lives and to help them find a better way of coping with the life they have at the moment.

 

And that's just it. Its the life they have at the moment. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[lilbunny]

FA, people with Borderline Personality Disorder are notorious for suicide threats and suicide attempts as a means of manipulation and control. Sounds like your mother in law may have been suffering with this disorder, but obviously not all suicides are the result of a personality disorder. I think some people are truly just so lost and and so full of despair that they don't see another way out. This isn't an act of manipulation.

 

I too have been through some really tough times and suffered great emotional pain. I have never attempted nor even considered suicide as an option and I thank God for that. I don't feel superior or judgemental because I know that I am lucky. I'm not prone to depression, not even in a crisis and for that I am grateful. I don't believe that I fully understand the mindset of people that get to this poiint, and I don't believe that you understand it either, because if you did you would not be so cold and callous about it.

 

 

This is a slight misrepresentation. People with borderline personality disorder often make suicide attempts or threats, this is true. It is often interpreted as a means of manipulation and control, but actually reflects an inability to deal with emotional pain and traumatic situations. Self harm is also a common feature of the condition. Both are usually actions associated with releasing pain in someway. This sort of terminology even when used by someone sympathetic is diminishing the genuine feelings of hopelessness and emptiness felt by the sufferer.

 

I just wanted to pick up on that, because you said you found it hard to understand and I thought it might help.

[alexandria35]

This is a slight misrepresentation. People with borderline personality disorder often make suicide attempts or threats, this is true. It is often interpreted as a means of manipulation and control, but actually reflects an inability to deal with emotional pain and traumatic situations. Self harm is also a common feature of the condition. Both are usually actions associated with releasing pain in someway. This sort of terminology even when used by someone sympathetic is diminishing the genuine feelings of hopelessness and emptiness felt by the sufferer.

 

I just wanted to pick up on that, because you said you found it hard to understand and I thought it might help.

 

 

Hmmm...I have researched BPD quite extensively as I have had a close relationship with somebody who has borderline personality disorder. I agree that sometimes people with bpd do follow through on their threats to take their own lives and they are most likely in great pain when they do so. However people with bpd are extremely manipulative and they will resort to all kinds of dramatics when they feel hurt. Sometimes they are sincerely in great pain and truly do want to end their lives but sometimes their threats really are all about control and manipulation.

 

Sorry for taking this thread off of it's original topic..

[torranceshipman]

She had threatened and she did it. She attempted suicide. She did not succeed, thank God.

But oh dear lord.

 

 

Meanwhile, my "lovely" ex has been popping up at places he has no reason to be. And he has started being concerned with picking up his son for all the visitation, saying he wants to improve after his past mistakes... but then the other night when I was alone, he pushed his way in and started looking through my stuff-- saying he just wants to see where his son is living. With our past, I may not have been assertive enough. I still get kind of afraid when he gets like that. Not for my son, I don't believe he would hurt him, but for myself. My man was gone taking care of stuff from prior situation. He, of course, wants to confront XH now.

 

GAHHH!

 

My man is wonderful. My life outside these specific anchors is soo much better now.

 

But I swear I wish I could just run away with each other and the kids.

I'm not sure this is specifically tied to being former OW- as it is that we both were in very, very bad marriages...

 

But I think a little more of a cooling off period might possibly have helped.

I feel like my life is a friggin soap opera, with all the highs and lows. I know my love is feeling it, too. We actually fought the other day. Not a discussion, but a real fight. First one. Not because of what would be in our relationship with clean slates, but because of this external stuff that is far above and beyond normal or reasonable. It made me realize why so many OW/OM relationships fail... not for lack of love but for the world thrust at them.

Not saying ours will. We are committed to work it through, and we concluded our fight with that we are both in love with each other and committed to our lives and upcoming nuptuals as much as ever. But just sharing, since I have been sharing the ups and downs, successes and failures, all along, that this is DAMN hard!

 

His kids still like me, I think. I wonder if his ex thinks that this would change this. I think it was very clearly partly a powerplay, though he disagrees. If someone threatens unless they get what they want, it usually is. I had a lot more respect for the woman he described before seeing how she has behaved. No matter how hard it is *shrug* Perhaps I'm being callous here, perhaps I need to be (and I am happy she survived) - but I am thankful at least now she is getting some damn help. Because that just isn't normal. And I am pretty forgiving (how long was I with my ex despite him being abusive, those in glass houses and all) to bits of weakness in trying times.

 

Woah....she tried to kill herself? This shows something of the terrible damage that can be caused to a person when their SO has an A. Poor, poor woman. And the kids must be finding this incredibly hard. Have you and your xMM looked into counselling for them?

[torranceshipman]

FA with all due respect, it is out of hand and type ridiculous to relate each and every topic to "You say this because you're a BS", "You don't like that because you're OW".

 

I could care 2 rats ass if you want to hand out some old little compassion toward my relative that committed suicide, because you think he didn't deserve any. BTW, he was not a OM, ROCKSTAR, DEREK JETER... HE WAS A HUMAN BEING that felt alone, unwanted, empty and lost in his darkness. Seems like your mindset is sticking very much to the script and the thread... NOT EVERYONE THAT HAS DEPRESSION, ISSUES, CHEMICAL INBALANCES, ETC who attemps/committs suicide are not human beings that you are implying they are because of the action they took. Inhumane. Remember, there are others that think the way you live your personal life is also not worthy of much empathy or are very sympathetic to hand out that same compassion you are talking about the day you may need some. We get back what we put out.

 

 

The evident reason for MY compassion is that I don't measure live's worth for the part people take in relationships. Don't recall your stance but sounds like you may not walk by faith. Maybe this is why you feel this way. Anyway, not going to t/j this but I gotta say, having lost a family member this way, yes I am very much offended by your comment. I keep it real... report me if you'd like.

 

If we all got what we deserved...

 

Sorry to hear you lost someone, and it is true - NO-ONE can understand the mindset of each individual that is driven to end their own life. It is just sad and awful and deserves compassion and respect, something that some people on this board don't seem capable of giving.

[boomboom63]

TinaniT

 

When I sat in the woods with a shotgun on my knee - I wasn't rational - but I truly believed that everyone - including me - would benefit from me being dead.

My W so she could pursue her dream of being with the OMM (as I truly believed at the time). My 2 kids because I felt like a crap and miserable father, and for me it would have been an end to the pain of betrayal. This isn't a bashing of anyone as I now have much more understanding of how affairs happen thanks in part to the wise posters on LS be they WS's or BS's and a couple of years of therapy under my belt.

 

Clearly I must of had some rational part because I didn't pull the trigger - for me it would have been the easiest option but it was the potential damage to my kids that stayed my hand. It really really was NOT manipulation.

 

It may be manipulation in some/maybe most - but not always.

 

I agree with many other posters that nobody knows what was going through her mind at that moment or what she was feeling - I'd suggest that she may not have been thinking rationally at the time and needs help in the near future - it may have been manipulative also but she needs help with that too.

 

The whole scenario is very toxic at the moment but in time the toxins fade - especially if somebody shows compassion first.

 

I hope things calm down for you soon.

[seren]

My sister in law has Bipolar, it has been controlled by meds for a long time, but at the moment she is in the absolute darkest pit of despair. To the outside world she should be happy, my brother adores her, they have been married forever, beautiful house, money, kids, grandkids, BUT her illness creeps up and just hurls her into an abyss where she just cannot climb out. She is able to say she knows this is depression, but she just feels so useless, worthless, not good enough, that everyone would be better off if she was dead, that she has nothing to offer anyone, let alone contemplate that there will be a time when she will climb out. At times she is sectioned for her safety and on suicide watch, as an ex mental health social worker I have lost count of the number of people I have worked with, some without bipolar, some clinically depressed some with reactive depression, who have ended their lives. They were and she is just so not selfish, just very, very broken and it is the most devastating thing to watch and not be able to get through the wall of pain.

 

I think I am hugely lucky to not have walked this path, despite everything life has thrown at me, yet I would not, could not and certainly should not think that everyone has the same coping skills or the support that I had. For everyone who has lost someone through suicide there are endless questions never answered, endless what if's and did I's that are never answered, for those who's life has become so bad that suicide seems to be the only solution, it can often be the only time they truly find peace, for them their actions are seen as a selfless act and not selfish, as they think the world would be a better place without them. How dreadfully sad to feel this way.

[lilbunny]

Hmmm...I have researched BPD quite extensively as I have had a close relationship with somebody who has borderline personality disorder. I agree that sometimes people with bpd do follow through on their threats to take their own lives and they are most likely in great pain when they do so. However people with bpd are extremely manipulative and they will resort to all kinds of dramatics when they feel hurt. Sometimes they are sincerely in great pain and truly do want to end their lives but sometimes their threats really are all about control and manipulation.

 

Sorry for taking this thread off of it's original topic..

 

I would suggest further research and perhaps a greater attempt at empathy. They do not 'resort to dramatics' they are unable to manage feelings of hurt and pain and largely view these acts as a means to do this. Making someone aware of this, often a loved one is a means of reaching out because there is no always a desire to die as such, but an inability to stop this behaviour.

I think this is absolutely relevant to the thread because this types of points feed into the misunderstanding which often prevents patients from making steps forwards.

[BlackLovely]

Sometimes people are diagnosed with BPD, just because the doctor doesn't like them. It is a very punitive diagnosis; doctors have been known not to treat those with the label. BPD can be managed and even obliterated with proper therapy, a supportive environment and sometimes, medication.

 

I should know. Seven years ago, I was given this label. I used to cut myself and I attempted suicide more than once; this went on for five years, from the time I was 17 until I was 21. It was never ever a way to control others. It was more like internalising abuse and not having someone understanding to talk to. The more depressed I became, the more my family ridiculed and excluded me. Family therapy was suggested, since the professionals could see that the dysfunctional dynamics were a contributing factor. My family refused.

 

When I was a teenager, I lost a little handicapped boy that I looked after. It was my first job. I dreamt that he would get sick and die. Two days later, he was dead. As if that wasn't enough, my stupidly strict parents wouldn't let me see my precious boy's brother, who was my first boyfriend. Death and being forcibly separated from a love is NOT a piece of cake for a young person, especially if the parents are not sympathetic to the challenge of double losses. I will never forgive them for that, because it wasn't necessary.

 

I was carrying the burdens of undisclosed sexual abuse as well as physical and emotional. Consequently, I was plagued with nightmares and flashbacks. The physical and emotional abuse worsened, as my mental state became more serious. I was beaten for crying and had my mother and my brother constantly screaming in my face, that I was a wimp. One particular attempt was greeted with my mother screaming "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!! IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF, GO KILL YOURSELF I DON'T CARE!!!" The cops told the nurses that my mother was the problem, when the medical professionals questioned them.

 

This story has a happy ending. When I was 21, I finally got enough courage to leave home. I had nothing but $5, but I didn't care. I was tired of being consumed by a restrictive and sexist environment. I began to see a therapist who specialised in those with BPD. During our year of work, I was finally able to disclose the abuse and realize that the *******s who hurt me, were not worth my life. I stopped cutting and attempting suicide. The hair I lost from stress grew back and I started to laugh more. Most importantly, I was told that I no longer fit the criteria for BPD. :) It was a very proud and emotional day. Even my therapist wept happily.

 

At age 28, I appreciate life and allow myself to experience emotions, instead of stuffing them down and blowing up later. I am much more assertive and I have no qualms about cutting toxic people from my life. The thought of suicide or self harm doesn't even cross my mind when I'm upset. It is no longer an option because I love myself. All I needed was a happy home. It was as if the years of pain were a long, dark night and when I left home, the sun finally rose.

 

People can heal and move on, but it takes time, help and patience.

 

Since I know what people are like on LS, I am expecting at least a few mean sprited responses to this. I also expecting this post to haunt me forever, since there are some children on here, that like to throw past posts in people's faces. I always feel pity for those posters that get their jollies from being jerks. If I am judged for sharing this, so be it. The experience only made me wiser, stronger and more compassionate.