She did it...

[turnstone]

FA, I can understand why attempted suicide gives rise to such strong feelings that are less than sympathetic towards the person concerned. It is surely a manipulative act. However, 'manipulation' doesn't necessarily stem from maliciousness. Do you not think that for as person to feel the need to manipulate to such a drastic level they must have a huge psychological problems? And what makes someone with that level of problems able to think rationally and consider repercussions?

 

Its very easy to say that someone with issues should seek help for themselves in order to prevent their loved ones going through trauma. But easier said than done. If someone feels they have to go to such drastic measures to resort to attempted suicide, not only does this show they are not going to be thinking clearly enough to imagine the impact of their actions, but more importantly, its not a demonstration that they don't care about those around them, but that they feel no one cares about them.

 

Someone in this position needs professional care and compassion and I understand its not the 'job' of the OW to offer either of those, but it may prove useful to her in the long run if she were to show compassion and keep a lid on the disgust.

[Fallen Angel]

FA, I can understand why attempted suicide gives rise to such strong feelings that are less than sympathetic towards the person concerned. It is surely a manipulative act. However, 'manipulation' doesn't necessarily stem from maliciousness. Do you not think that for as person to feel the need to manipulate to such a drastic level they must have a huge psychological problems? And what makes someone with that level of problems able to think rationally and consider repercussions?

 

Its very easy to say that someone with issues should seek help for themselves in order to prevent their loved ones going through trauma. But easier said than done. If someone feels they have to go to such drastic measures to resort to attempted suicide, not only does this show they are not going to be thinking clearly enough to imagine the impact of their actions, but more importantly, its not a demonstration that they don't care about those around them, but that they feel no one cares about them.

 

Someone in this position needs professional care and compassion and I understand its not the 'job' of the OW to offer either of those, but it may prove useful to her in the long run if she were to show compassion and keep a lid on the disgust.

 

Can i ask a serious question which may or may not be considered going off topic?

 

Why is it that an OW in pain from her failing affair relationship is told to suck it up and deal with it, and to take responsibility for her own pain.

 

A married person suffering from their own self-imposed hell, is given no free pass and told they need care and compassion.

 

Why is this woman being expected to be treated with kid gloves?

 

And yes, suicide and or suicide attempts always stem from maliciousness!

 

It is the most extreme form of selfish behaviour. Much worse than a WS finding love outside of the marriage. Much worse than an enraged BS refusing the exS contact with the children. It is the most selfish, cruel and manipulative act ever.

 

I am sorry if it offends people here for me to say it, but no one can convince me otherwise.

 

And I do think it is fair for people to talk about the traumas they have experienced and overcome and be able to say "I lived through X, Y and Z and did not attempt suicide, so I can not feel pity for this person who was not able to do so." It is every bit as fair to do that as it is for the people on this board to say "I lived through X, Y and Z in my affair (my WSs affair) and overcame and so i have no pity for you not being able to do the same as I did" which is an often stated thing around here.

 

The OP of this thread should not be condemned for her anger. She should be commended for coming here to vent it rather than venting it around her lover and his children!!! They are the real victims right now, and it is with them that her loyalty and empathy should lay.

Edited August 30, 2010 by Fallen Angel

[turnstone]

FA, if anything is self-imposed its the OW's pain, surely you realise that by now?

 

Even though I've seen your capacity for compassion reduce, I'm shocked by your zero understanding of attempted suicide and your resolute unwillingness to gain any understanding of it, or indeed the very different act of suicide itself.

[NoIDidn't]

Can i ask a serious question which may or may not be considered going off topic?

 

Sure, why not?

 

Why is it that an OW in pain from her failing affair relationship is told to suck it up and deal with it, and to take responsibility for her own pain.?

 

Because in the eyes of society, she asked for her pain by choosing the affair in the first place. Not many feel much compassion for people that choose their own pain (as evidenced in this thread).

 

A married person suffering from their own self-imposed hell, is given no free pass and told they need care and compassion.

 

Being cheated on is not a "self-imposed hell". Its being cheated on. A hell put on you by someone you loved, or used to love, and trusted.

 

Why is this woman being expected to be treated with kid gloves?

 

Because her life, as she knew it, is being threatened with her H's leaving. But I fail to see where anyone is saying to treat her with "kid gloves". I do see them recommending that the OP be compassionate, which is a bit different when dealing with an adult.

 

And yes, suicide and or suicide attempts always stem from maliciousness!

 

This is not a factual statement. Its laced with biased and you may want to do some actual research on the subject before making such erroneous assumptions.

 

It is the most extreme form of selfish behaviour. Much worse than a WS finding love outside of the marriage. Much worse than an enraged BS refusing the exS contact with the children. It is the most selfish, cruel and manipulative act ever.

 

Again, not factual but biased.

 

I am sorry if it offends people here for me to say it, but no one can convince me otherwise.

 

Convince you? No. Suggest you get educated to challenge your bias? Yes.

 

And I do think it is fair for people to talk about the traumas they have experienced and overcome and be able to say "I lived through X, Y and Z and did not attempt suicide, so I can not feel pity for this person who was not able to do so." It is every bit as fair to do that as it is for the people on this board to say "I lived through X, Y and Z in my affair (my WSs affair) and overcame and so i have no pity for you not being able to do the same as I did" which is an often stated thing around here.

 

I don't agree with the sentiment, but people are free to lack empathy and compassion for other if they want. In the end, that's their problem and poisons them far more than the people they withhold their compassion from.

 

The OP of this thread should not be condemned for her anger. She should be commended for coming here to vent it rather than venting it around her lover and his children!!! They are the real victims right now, and it is with them that her loyalty and empathy should lay.

 

A woman just attempted suicide because she is likely going to lose her marriage, but her H is being spoken of as another woman's lover as if this were a completely normal state of being. Wow. I don't think the OW in this situation should be showing "loyalty" of any type to this woman's children during this time if she can't express it towards their mother. When the gets get old enough to understand what happened, they will not see the OW as "compassionate" towards their mother. They will see another version of "manipulation".

 

Disagree with me, as you are free to do. But I think the OW should concentrate on her "lover" and not his children and stay out of it (away from his kids) until their mother is stable. If the little girl thought her mother's attempt was her fault, imagine how she will feel if she showed loyalty to the OW when her mother was in distress.

 

OP, I don't fault you for the way your OP came off. I'm sure this situation is much more than meets the eye (or the page). But do be careful as you are walking a very thin line between coming off as compassionate vs manipulative (just like the W did, but under very different circumstances) in the lives of this family (the MM's family is watching this drama unfold as well, not just his kids. Even if they hate her, they will remember).

[Fallen Angel]

FA, if anything is self-imposed its the OW's pain, surely you realise that by now?

 

I surely never suggested otherwise..

 

Even though I've seen your capacity for compassion reduce, I'm shocked by your zero understanding of attempted suicide and your resolute unwillingness to gain any understanding of it, or indeed the very different act of suicide itself.

 

I am curious as to how you have seen my capacity for compassion reduce, as surely that is far from true. Perhaps it is simply that my capacity for compassion had been called a farce by so many for so long that I am not as open with voicing it as once I was?

 

My unwillingness to show compassion for people who attempt or in fact succeed in a suicide comes from personal experiences with the devastation that it causes. My personal experiences have seen master manipulators destroy mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, and friends.

 

I struggled with thoughts of my own suicide for some time. I know that feeling of emptiness and loss and helplessness that brought me to that point, and I know that had I attempted to actually go through with it, it would have been from selfishness and anger and a "See what happened because of how you treated me?" kind of thought process... an "I'll show you!!!" behaviour.

 

I am sorry that you see me as less than compassionate, but as I previously stated, I think that the compassion and empathy should be focused on those who were harmed by this most selfish of acts.. the people who care about the wellbeing of the woman who tried to kill herself, not the selfish woman who attempted a cowardly act, and it is with those harmed by this act that MY sympathy and empathy lay.

[turnstone]

NoIDidn't has worded my feelings much better than I ever could, so I'll bow out now with regards to the subject of suicide/attempted suicide.

 

On the subject of your own lack of compassion - I'll PM you to avoid taking this OT.

[NoIDidn't]

My unwillingness to show compassion for people who attempt or in fact succeed in a suicide comes from personal experiences with the devastation that it causes. My personal experiences have seen master manipulators destroy mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, and friends.

 

My life has been impacted by a suicide. It was my great-grandmother. I have nothing but compassion for her and those in her situation. She lost her H during the Great Depression and still had children to feed. She didn't attempt to manipulate anyone. So, like I said, challenge your bias. The rest of humanity aren't just like the people you say tried to manipulate you. Those people would have manipulated you regardless of whether they attempted or threatened suicide - so that really has nothing to do with suicide other than the fact they were just manipulators.

 

I struggled with thoughts of my own suicide for some time. I know that feeling of emptiness and loss and helplessness that brought me to that point, and I know that had I attempted to actually go through with it, it would have been from selfishness and anger and a "See what happened because of how you treated me?" kind of thought process... an "I'll show you!!!" behaviour.

 

I understand. You feel that because that was your thought process, then it must have been hers when she attempted because it was what you were thinking when you thought of suicide.

 

I am sorry that you see me as less than compassionate, but as I previously stated, I think that the compassion and empathy should be focused on those who were harmed by this most selfish of acts.. the people who care about the wellbeing of the woman who tried to kill herself, not the selfish woman who attempted a cowardly act, and it is with those harmed by this act that MY sympathy and empathy lay.

 

So, was this woman hurt or not by her own actions? I mean, trying to kill yourself is causing yourself harm. I don't understand the purpose of withholding compassion (on purpose) from the person that attempted to harm themselves. I fail to see how that helps them in any way. Its certainly not the kind of support that their family would need either. Imagine showing up a funeral saying "well, I don't feel sorry for [the dead], they shouldn't have killed themselves to begin with. My sympathy lies with you after they did such a selfish thing to you". I can't imagine that going over too well.

 

To each their own, I guess.

 

Question: Since when is "compassion" equivalent to "kid gloves"?

[Fallen Angel]

Because in the eyes of society' date=' she asked for her pain by choosing the affair in the first place. Not many feel much compassion for people that choose their own pain (as evidenced in this thread). [/quote']

 

Then by that token this woman deserves no compassion as she was herself involved in an affair, if I read this story correctly, and only attempted suicide after her relationship with her AFFAIR PARTNER failed to flourish.

 

Right? (Anything you can say other than to agree would prove your own original quote to be an invalid argument. Just saying.)

 

Being cheated on is not a "self-imposed hell". Its being cheated on. A hell put on you by someone you loved' date=' or used to love, and trusted.[/quote']

 

Perhaps you should have read what I posted more carefully rather than rush to attempt to discredit me, as had you done so, you would have seen that I was claerly speaking of the MP person in an affiar relationship and not the betrayed spouse.

 

 

Because her life' date=' as she knew it, is being threatened with her H's leaving. But I fail to see where anyone is saying to treat her with "kid gloves". I do see them recommending that the OP be compassionate, which is a bit different when dealing with an adult.[/quote']

 

Again, based on your opinion that an OW (and/or MP in an affiar) deserves no compassion, this is a moot point. As the woman in question was not only a BW but also a WS in her own right.

 

 

This is not a factual statement. Its laced with biased and you may want to do some actual research on the subject before making such erroneous assumptions.

 

 

 

Again, not factual but biased.

 

 

 

Convince you? No. Suggest you get educated to challenge your bias? Yes.

 

Please do not presume to understand what my level of education is on any particluar topic of discussion unless I have previously stated precisely what it is. To do otherwise is rude, and very likely incorrect.

 

I don't agree with the sentiment' date=' but people are free to lack empathy and compassion for other if they want. In the end, that's their problem and poisons them far more than the people they withhold their compassion from.[/quote']

 

That may well be the case. But to condemn the poster for not having compassion for someone who hurt very badly people that she loves shows that you, too, are capable of withholding your compassion when you deem the situation calls for it.

 

 

A woman just attempted suicide because she is likely going to lose her marriage' date=' but her H is being spoken of as another woman's lover as if this were a completely normal state of being. Wow.[/quote']

 

She attempted suicide because she is selfish. The fact that her ex has moved on with his life, while she has allowed hers to stagnate is her fault. Afterall, she was involved in her own relationship outside of the marriage, and continued it beyond the separation, it was only after her lover left her that she attempted suicide. Why is the maritial relationship disolving being blamed, when obviously that was not the most probable contributing factor?

 

Because it is convenient for your agenda, and the agenda of a majority of the posters? Even though it appears to run contrary to the facts at hand?

 

 

I don't think the OW in this situation should be showing "loyalty" of any type to this woman's children during this time if she can't express it towards their mother. When the gets get old enough to understand what happened' date=' they will not see the OW as "compassionate" towards their mother. They will see another version of "manipulation".[/quote']

 

She absolutely should be showing loyalty to the children. She is concerned for their welfare, obviously more so than the MOTHER who attempted to abandon the children with her own death.

[NoIDidn't]

I don't see the point of going back and "re"-answering a post, but the second time with snide comments. Its clear that defensiveness has entered and I will not sink to that level.

 

I post here to have interesting conversations and debates, not get into pointless arguments with baseless accusations flying.

 

OP, I apologize for the direction your thread is taking. I really didn't take any issue with you using this place for venting. Again, please be careful with this family. This saga is far from over. The W "getting help" is not going to be the end of it.

 

Its a shame, though, that something as serious as suicide is ever boiled down to simple "manipulation". Its much more complex than that. Bent gave an excellent post that I think many should read and read again.

[bentnotbroken]

There's not much I can say.

My first reaction upon hearing was, Oh no - Thank God she is okay- and I'm glad she can get the help she needs.

 

 

As I listened to her little girl cry, remembered past experiences as a person left behind, I did get angry. I can't defend that, I did. That is what I was trying to explain later, what came across in my earlier post. As I said, the first poster was right and I needed to step back to my more compassionate first reaction. Past experiences colour reactions, and relationships colour sympathies, and that happened here, too. And I am frustrated that she would go that route over being alone, not even for love but just without A man in her life... that she would do it so that her children find her, and I did wonder, have doubts whether it was sincere when she did it how she did (pills half an hour before kids due home from school). Not pretty emotions or thoughts, I will concede, but true.

 

 

And just to clear one thing up... I mentioned my past experiences to say that NO ONE can make another person take their lives. That is internal, not external. You can't say an experience drives someone to it. A well adjusted happy person does not go from that to suicide over an experience even a very bad one.

 

I will try to be more compassionate and thank you for the reminder. I was letting my concerns of my love and how he is feeling, and the kids and how they are feeling, overcome my better nature and what is the best course of action in this scenario.

 

I could apologize, but I just can't bring myself to... That is, I would not have brought up how this affected to me to anyone involved in the situation. Their needs and this is more important now. But yet, I can't control the chain of reactions and emotions - the noble ones and the disgusting little inner ones, that I vented here. Perhaps I am not the best person I could be, and I will accept that I should strive more in that direction... but I also will forgive myself weakness in that and in expressing some of those out in what seems a safer environment to do so.

 

I am very glad those who have been to that dark place who told their tales got through to the other side.

 

 

Every thing that I bolded is absolutely TRUE. Emotions are normal. Anger is normal. Wondering what she was thinking and why she would do it is normal. And more importantly, "a well adjusted happy person does not go from being happy to suicide" and that is key. She isn't well adjusted or happy. To someone on the outside looking in, I appeared to be very happy before the planned "event". I had made up my mind to check out and convinced myself that everyone(especially my children) would not only be better off without me, they would be happier. That made me happy to think of them that way. I was at peace with my decision. It was like a load had been taken from my soul.

 

Though those who don't understand mental deficiencies may think of it a manipulative and selfish( I did too at one time). But coming to understand the power of that decency is so overwhelming that all one wants to do is make the pain(that has been added to the top of other pains and disappointments. For me it was years worth)go away. Mental health is an issue that is misunderstood in the US. It is mainly considered a disease of convenience(malicious manipulation) or of the crazy group(bi-polar, schizo), but there are so many varying degrees that it does truly take someone trained in the field to help someone come to terms with their issues.

 

And you shouldn't apologize for your feelings, no more than a BS should apologize for being pissed off at their situation. Because our viewpoint on life is indeed shaped by our experiences or lack there of.

[BB07]

Bent........great and compassionate post.......you lived it and no one else can have that level of understanding unless they did. I'm glad you are a in a better place now.

 

Often times walking in those shoes is the only way we can really comprehend someone else's circumstances.

[Ellin]

FA, if anything is self-imposed its the OW's pain, surely you realise that by now?

 

 

Not at all. OW is just same as any other human being, meaning she wants to be happy and AVOID pain and this is what motivates her behavior just as anyone else's.

 

She often goes into A not knowing full facts and surely not knowing how painful it will be, as no one consciously inflict pain on themselves. She goes into it because she's chasing happiness, not pain.

 

In the same way as you imply above the pain of a BS can be self-inflicted, because (not all but) many BSs conduct themselves in a way that is detrimental to their M before the A begins.

 

Surely it can be argued so in this case, as the "poor", pitied BS who attempted suicide had an A herself before her H's OW came into the picture, and this being completely overlooked shows clearly the bias present on this forum.

 

And when attempted suicide is concerned no one can be sure whether it was serious attempt or manipulation (which is a wicked and selfish emotional blackmail).

[Ellin]

I post here to have interesting conversations and debates, not get into pointless arguments with baseless accusations flying.

 

Strange, to me FA's points look pretty logical.

[bentnotbroken]

Not at all. OW is just same as any other human being, meaning she wants to be happy and AVOID pain and this is what motivates her behavior just as anyone else's.

 

She often goes into A not knowing full facts and surely not knowing how painful it will be, as no one consciously inflict pain on themselves. She goes into it because she's chasing happiness, not pain.

 

In the same way as you imply above the pain of a BS can be self-inflicted, because (not all but) many BSs conduct themselves in a way that is detrimental to their M before the A begins.

 

Surely it can be argued so in this case, as the "poor", pitied BS who attempted suicide had an A herself before her H's OW came into the picture, and this being completely overlooked shows clearly the bias present on this forum.

 

And when attempted suicide is concerned no one can be sure whether it was serious attempt or manipulation (which is a wicked and selfish emotional blackmail).

 

 

Yes, many BS behave badly in marriage. As someone who has been there I do pity her and anyone else who find themselves in that situation. The amount of pain to get to that point is enormous. She had an"A" too, does that change my stance on the fact that she tried to commit suicide...not one damn bit. You are right no one can be sure about the motives. No matter what the motive is, the act in itself makes a person emotionally unhealthy. I have said it when someone here spoke of the MM attempted suicide. I have said when OW finds herself pregnant(not to make a hasty decision). Our choices are indeed ours to own. And I own my choice to commit suicide and it wasn't manipulation or emotional blackmail.

[Ellin]

And I own my choice to commit suicide and it wasn't manipulation or emotional blackmail.

I respect you for this and I don't want by any means to upset you, as my comments are directed to the topic of this thread and not your past painful experiences.

 

But wasn't it you who said that just because someone experienced something they shouldn't assume that everyone experience it the same way? Your wasn't manipulation, many people's is.

[NancyBotwin]

I surely never suggested otherwise..

 

 

 

I am curious as to how you have seen my capacity for compassion reduce, as surely that is far from true. Perhaps it is simply that my capacity for compassion had been called a farce by so many for so long that I am not as open with voicing it as once I was?

 

My unwillingness to show compassion for people who attempt or in fact succeed in a suicide comes from personal experiences with the devastation that it causes. My personal experiences have seen master manipulators destroy mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, and friends.

 

I struggled with thoughts of my own suicide for some time. I know that feeling of emptiness and loss and helplessness that brought me to that point, and I know that had I attempted to actually go through with it, it would have been from selfishness and anger and a "See what happened because of how you treated me?" kind of thought process... an "I'll show you!!!" behaviour.

 

I am sorry that you see me as less than compassionate, but as I previously stated, I think that the compassion and empathy should be focused on those who were harmed by this most selfish of acts.. the people who care about the wellbeing of the woman who tried to kill herself, not the selfish woman who attempted a cowardly act, and it is with those harmed by this act that MY sympathy and empathy lay.

In bold, the same could be said for the WS!

In general, I am curious if your posts would be the same if the tables were turned and it was a fellow OW that attempted suicide because the AP decided to reconcile.

[Fallen Angel]

In bold, the same could be said for the WS!

In general, I am curious if your posts would be the same if the tables were turned and it was a fellow OW that attempted suicide because the AP decided to reconcile.

 

Considering that the woman in question was a WS/OW, I can say without doubt that YES, my posts would be the same.

 

But apparently her WS/OW status is not to be considered and she is to be afforded some "courtesy and compassion" that other OW/WS are not to be afforded, simply because.... well, I haven't quite figured out why I am supposed to feel sorry for her, but am not to show compassion for any other WS/OW that might possibly come post here.. Perhaps you would care to explain the double standard to me, so that I might better understand what is considered acceptable behaviour from me in the future??

[Mimolicious]

A well adjusted happy person does not go from that to suicide over an experience even a very bad one.

 

 

Ok either this person is unstable or well abjusted. Make up you mind, because you have mentioned in previous posts that she was depressive and was obviously showing signs of being so. What did people do? walk out of her life and on to the next...

 

 

2. She was fine immediately after when she got straight away engaged to her OM who had been in the picture far, far longer than I had. Was fine until he realized what she was like, her depressive states and ignoring the home and children, and left. Then, alone, she begs her ex husband (my love) to come back. He does not. She attempts suicide.

 

 

Anyone here can say "I wouldn't do this", "Depression doesn't do that", "I would have done this and that", "she is selfish for trying to end her life and leaving her kids". STOP WITH THE ASSUMING AND JUDGING! This BS gets old... We are all each ONE MIND and ONE PERSON.

 

You are not her to know her pain, to know her depression level, to know her state of mind. Only she knows. Suicide is not something that should be used against someone or they should be judged about. People who try are actually screaming out that they WANT TO LIVE yet everyone around them is ignorant and selfish enough to not hear the call. My cousin said that he one day was going to end his life. My family laughed and called him "Crazy". Guess what? We walked in on him hanging from his own children's jump-rope. He's been gone for 11yrs...

 

Turned-

 

its not a demonstration that they don't care about those around them, but that they feel no one cares about them.

 

This right here just made me cry. My cousin felt like nobody cared about him and he decided to remove his existance from where he felt unwanted and worthless. DOES ANYONE EVER DESERVE TO FEEL THIS WAY?????????

I wish I can turn back time or that he would be alive now that I am an adult and not a 19-20y/o too busy clubbing so I could tell him how much he's been missed and how much we really love him.

Edited August 30, 2010 by Mimolicious

[Mimolicious]

I am actually baffled (not that anyone you would care) to see how poorly human life is considered by some people on this board. some of you have decided to have PHD's (PLAYER HATER DEGREES), classifying people into titles, categories, measuring a person's worth and determining who "deserves" anything?! Who died and left anyone here the "compassion fairy" anyway?

 

Very uneducated opinions in regards to "Suicide". Thank God this is just an internet forum.

[Snowflower]

Some cruel responses, that is for sure.

 

I'm sure it would have been better for some if the W had been successful in her suicide attempt. Then she would have been out of the way and no longer interfering with true love. :rolleyes:

[NancyBotwin]

Someone wise posted this, and boy does it mean something here...

You can't make someone see something if they refuse to open their eyes.

 

You can't make someone feel regret/remorse/guilt if they refuse to accept responsibility.

[Fallen Angel]

Some cruel responses, that is for sure.

 

I'm sure it would have been better for some if the W had been successful in her suicide attempt. Then she would have been out of the way and no longer interfering with true love. :rolleyes:

 

I still find it odd that those of you who consider the responses (almost certainly the ones made by me) to be cruel, choose to catagorize this woman as W.

 

The reason for your compassion is evident in that.

 

Had the same thread been started by someone other than the OW, and the woman in questions identity as MW/OW had been the foremost label used in the OP then I believe we would have had a much different set of responses here from these oh so compassionate human beings.

 

However, my responses would have been exactly the same. My compassion lies with the children she attempted to abandon in death.

 

**as a side note, I too came very close to suicide. I too, was a BW. I was also an abused wife, and lost a child to heaven. My lack of compassion is far from uneducated about the reasoning behind taking ones own life. It is because I FULLY UNDERSTAND the mindset that gets someone to that point that I fail in my compassion for it.

[Snowflower]

I still find it odd that those of you who consider the responses (almost certainly the ones made by me) to be cruel, choose to catagorize this woman as W.

 

 

 

 

TBH, I can't tell what the woman's status is from the information in the OP. For all I know, she was an OW (with children) who was thrown over for yet another OW. Nonetheless, I stand by my words. I feel sorry for any human being who feels compelled to try take their own life.

 

The reason for your compassion is evident in that.

 

So glad you're here to tell me what I am thinking.

[Mimolicious]

I still find it odd that those of you who consider the responses (almost certainly the ones made by me) to be cruel, choose to catagorize this woman as W.

 

The reason for your compassion is evident in that.

 

Had the same thread been started by someone other than the OW, and the woman in questions identity as MW/OW had been the foremost label used in the OP then I believe we would have had a much different set of responses here from these oh so compassionate human beings.

 

However, my responses would have been exactly the same. My compassion lies with the children she attempted to abandon in death.

 

**as a side note, I too came very close to suicide. I too, was a BW. I was also an abused wife, and lost a child to heaven. My lack of compassion is far from uneducated about the reasoning behind taking ones own life. It is because I FULLY UNDERSTAND the mindset that gets someone to that point that I fail in my compassion for it.

 

FA with all due respect, it is out of hand and type ridiculous to relate each and every topic to "You say this because you're a BS", "You don't like that because you're OW".

 

I could care 2 rats ass if you want to hand out some old little compassion toward my relative that committed suicide, because you think he didn't deserve any. BTW, he was not a OM, ROCKSTAR, DEREK JETER... HE WAS A HUMAN BEING that felt alone, unwanted, empty and lost in his darkness. Seems like your mindset is sticking very much to the script and the thread... NOT EVERYONE THAT HAS DEPRESSION, ISSUES, CHEMICAL INBALANCES, ETC who attemps/committs suicide are not human beings that you are implying they are because of the action they took. Inhumane. Remember, there are others that think the way you live your personal life is also not worthy of much empathy or are very sympathetic to hand out that same compassion you are talking about the day you may need some. We get back what we put out.

 

 

The evident reason for MY compassion is that I don't measure live's worth for the part people take in relationships. Don't recall your stance but sounds like you may not walk by faith. Maybe this is why you feel this way. Anyway, not going to t/j this but I gotta say, having lost a family member this way, yes I am very much offended by your comment. I keep it real... report me if you'd like.

 

If we all got what we deserved...

[Fallen Angel]

TBH, I can't tell what the woman's status is from the information in the OP. For all I know, she was an OW (with children) who was thrown over for yet another OW. Nonetheless, I stand by my words. I feel sorry for any human being who feels compelled to try take their own life.

 

Truly?

 

Not so, since it is obvious that you can find no compassion for me for why I can not find compassion for this woman.

 

 

 

 

So glad you're here to tell me what I am thinking.

 

Your sacrasm and it's inherent compassion for someone who has felt compelled to take their own life is duly noted.