stupid idiot Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 I was a secondary school student visiting in America last summer and I met a girl who I was really attracted to. She was attracted to me as well, but I was a virgin (I’m 16) and very, very shy (not to mention very stupid in the ways of seduction – she invited me up to her bedroom and locked the door and I still didn’t understand that meant she wanted to have sex – how naive and stupid can you get?) Anyway, about a week after this I met someone who said he had “gotten too close to her” implying that they had sex. Now this guy was quite ugly and fat, not disgusting, but kinda repelling in a nerdy way. The girl I was attracted too was very cute and sexy, and I’ve been told that I am rather handsome. Here’s the problem: as soon as this guy said this to me, I went completely off of her – instantly. It was like a physical nausea at the thought of her with this guy. Nothing ever happened after that and I avoided her when she made advances at me because I couldn’t stand the thought of both her being with this guy and being with her after this guy had. Being a virgin and not understanding about sex, I wanted a kind of pristine, pure first experience with someone I respected and was deeply attracted to (I know it sounds crass that I don’t say “love”, but this was a very primal and physical, almost uncontrollable attraction) and now, 3 months later after I’ve come home to Australia, I have deep regrets about being so silly and missing a wonderful opportunity with someone I was so very attracted to. (I have never met anyone since or before that I was so uncontrollably physically drawn to in an animalistic way – is that “love”, or at least the beginning of love, when you don’t care what’s happening around you and nothing matters but being with that person?). Anyway, I feel really bad for snubbing this girl, and am really down on myself for being such an idiot and letting a wonderful opportunity pass us by. I blame myself for being such and idiot about judging her, and for being such a fool that I didn’t realise she wanted me the first time we went into her bedroom. It seems like a lot of people regret having done something (sex too young, etc.) but I regret not having done anything and it seems a much more debilitating and shameful kind of regret. I’m sorry to vent this here, but I wanted to hear anyone’s opinion on wether this had happened to them, if it’s anywhere near normal, or if I was just being a **** and deserve to feel like an ass. I need to cope with this as there really is no seond chance on this one Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 Being drawn to someone sexually in an animalistic way is not love at all. You could fall in love with that person later if you find they are worthy. Don't beat your head against a wall. You will have many other opportunities to have sex with attractive women but that's not making love, that's just getting your rocks off. When it comes to love, let your heart make those decisions, not your dick. Link to post Share on other sites
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