What should I expect? I am confused.

[buran]

Dear Friends,

 

Below is my story with the latest updates as I summarized it on these forums. I would appreciate any comments and advices...

 

It's been 8 months but she I still don't have my belongings. After the last post, I've managed to get dates with her, we've shared many positive experiences without commitment and I nearly got her back in mid-summer, but some stupid mistakes made these positive experiences absolote. We were still seeing each other, sometimes hand-in-hand, sometimes just "friendly". Now she's with some else since 2-3 months. She says that she's not serious, does not want to lose me forever, saw his big mistakes and will break-up when it bocems boring. But she doesn't want me to call her because of her new boyfriend. It became obvious she was dating both of us for weeks. I told her multiple times that if I can't call her in mid-week when she's in school, she should give me my belongings. She did not give them to me. She knows that if I take them back, I will never call her and she will lose me forever even the ground will split. She told me to wait for her to call. Yesterday I invited her to the Chinese rest. and to bring the belongings via SMS. She later called me and declined in a rude way and told me that they had a fight with him because of this message. He did not know that she saw me. I again told her to give me my belongings and its over, she aggred. But I know, she still will not give them to me this weekend. She's playing games with me. She's not sure with her new rel. and does not want to lose me forever. But she disrespects me and declines to spend time with in the last 20 days. What should I do? Why is she playing such game with me? My friends tell me to forget her and leave belongings. She says she does not love me,but we have still a bond. What's this? She told me that I made the mistake of pushing her all the time, "raising her to the queen" and pushed her to someone else. Oh my god, help me....

 

She keeps my credit card, childhood photos, love letters etc. The truth is: I don't know what I want. I am so lonely since she left and I am still attracted to her. And we had 2 years together like a dream. She never experienced my absence but 15 days. If I somehow get all my belongings then I will and have to stick to my word and never call her, see her whatever happens. I could not stand my ground for so many things, and she grew stronger all the time and hence lost interest in me. But I think she knows that she cannot find someone like me who is loving, sincere, educated, open-minded and ready to please her. I wonder whether waiting for a long time without initiating any contact would raise her interest again and miss me? She knows that I am here when she wants to come back, but the other guy is not. She holds all the cards. Should I call her mother and get them or send her letters? I had ordered "How to Get Your Lover Back" book by Blase Harris, read it multiple times and he says that every positive contact would bring her one closer back to me. That's why I used these belongings as a threat to get dates or contact. Off, I don't know. I want to decide. Please persudae me pleaseeee....

 

Thank you very much Arabess. I will let you know here if something new happens. I thnik I am going to cut any contact.

 

Well, yesterday she called and we exchanged the belongings. She said again that she's not serious with her rel. and will not marry him but she is in a relationship. She does not want to cut contact, but I should wait for her call. First I did not accept, but then I sent a message and accepted and she also accepted. I again ate my words. I am a prideless doormat maybe, but she was my first and I don't think that I will find another wondeful love like this one. I need support.

 

Maybe I can forget her after 1 month or so, at least I may be not so sad, but I don't know what I will feel if she calls after a period. I don't think that I can resist her and old wounds will reopen.

Another thing is that I want to hurt her in a way. She hurt me so much. What can I do? Telling her parents that she's not a virgin anymore? Would that make me feel better?

 

Now, the latest update:

After 23 days of no contact, she called and asked me to meet. We met and had great conversations. She sent me mixed feelings. After this initial contact, I asked her to meet again and we met 2 more times during 14 days. Note that this happenend during her school's break (and hence, her new bf is at another toen, I think?). On the Valentine's I sent her a SMS that we could play snowball and have coffee if she wanted. She aggred to my suprise and we met on the Valentine's. Again she sent me mixed messages. I know she still has feelings for me and does not dare to lose me forever. When dropping her home, she said me that I should not iniate contact in any way, she wanted to initiate contact. It's been 5 days and I'm again very confused. What should I do? or what does she want?

[ldybg51]

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HELLOOOO! You basically said it yourself. She is just keeping you hanging on so that she can have you when she wants you. Let me tell you a little of my old story.

 

I was with a a guy and fell out of love with him and met someone else. But I would miss this other guy and tell him that I maybe would want to work it out. But then when we would get together I would have a great time but I would FeeL Like That...So then I would wait awhile....spend time with this other guy and then miss my first again. Call him ask him if he wanted to do something or ask if I could come over....get over there...talk...have a good time...But NOTHING there. I did it several times and I Really would miss him but I just didnt love him and I just couldnt make myself feel THAT again. So where am I today.

 

I still think about the first guy But am so completely in love with the second and Now I dont even think that way about the first. I just miss him every now and then and chalk it up to what it is and was.....He was my best friend for 5 years and that is what I miss....A great person...Not a lover.

[Pretteangel]

Move on!